New Job Offer - Alarm bells!!

[ThePerfectTen]

I have been offered a job, my first f/t job since having children. I know I am able to do the job but I am not sure about the transition required re going back to a f/t career role with young kids, and also have alarm bells after recieving the contract.

Well tbh alarm bells started at interview stage when they were whatsapp'ing me throughout the weekend, including at 8-9pm, regarding interview avalibility, dates and times etc. (I am already worrying about fitting f/t hours in around the family, never mind them thinking that i'm avaliable whenever they want and don't have respect for peoples boundaries/free time)

The initial interviews (not with my manager) mentioned working from home, however the final interview and contract mention only working from the office. (This is a non negotiable for me tbh, i can't mentally give up WFH a few times a week. Now i have children and am older i need for my sanity.)

The contract i have recieved is just too much. It is so controlling, it makes me feel completely uneasy and really anxious. There are loads of references to being 'expected to work as many hours as needed to get the job done' I am in a trusted, responsible role atm and do not want to move to somewhere where i feel like I am signing my life away and being micro managed. Even though they have stressed they don't micromange and its a very senior role at interview stage, the contract definately doesn't really portray the ethos discussed at all. Me and my partner have never seen a contract like it.

Another general concern of mine of returning to f/t work, having childcare for holidays and seeing my children. The contract specifies that a number of holiday periods and bank holidays are not allowed to be taken as annual leave & I have to work bank holidays including the Christmas period and various half terms. Holidays also need to be booked a month in advance (I always book last min deals), health appointments have to be done outside working hours (How is that even possible?) etc etc - Just lots of restrictions i would expect if i was an untrusted employee with no work experience.

My manager also appears to completely live and breath his job 24/7 and is completely over enthusiastic. Although I will work hard and want to do my best. I am definately a work to live mentality now, not live to work so don't know whether i will find this exhausting lol. I also don't think anyone in the company has young children..

One part of me thinks this is a great opportunity, go back to them with my none negotiables, be honest and explain my concerns, get back into job market, prove yourself and make the role your own.

The other part of me says, its all too much, listen to your instincts and keep with your p/t role atm until children are older and able to look after themselves more, you can't take on this extra stress and juggling when its clearly a restrictive environment.

But are there really any jobs out there that tick all the boxes?? Right salary, location, hours, responsibility etc etc...

I just don't want to give up my current, completely flexible, manage my own time (but uninspiring/unmotivating) role and create myself lots of extra pressure by taking on a different job & then realise i have made a big mistake.. but also don't want to have any regrets.

I honestly need some unbiased opinions and thoughts please (Thank you for your time reading this :)

Run very far away!!!!

I am a hiring manager, and am very flexible with WFH and flexi hours and family time etc. Ouur contract is fairly robust and doesn't represent this, so I do understand that there is likely to be a difference between what the contract says and reality, but I've never heard of a contract with so many stipulations of working bank holidays? Not being allowed school holidays off? Expected to work as long as needed to get the job done? It's an unwritten rule really that Senior Management do have to work extra hours when needed, that comes with being Senior, but the key is unwritten!! This contract would freak me out.

Protect your family time if that's what is important to you!!

That being said, you could tell them your concerns and see if they would adjust the contract? If it is true that they are a lot more flexible that the contract seems to suggest, then they should be fine with proving that and adjusting it. Xx

What kind of job is it? Is normal for the industry?

Listen to your gut on this one.

The bit in the contract about working as many hours as necessary is standard, I see it all the time in the contracts. It doesn't always mean they expect you work past your hours all the time.

The contacting you in the evening (unless it was a recruiter not the company), the booking holiday a month in advance, dental appts etc would raise concerns for me, it shows a lack of flexibility from their side and I think you should go with your instinct and look for something else.

You’d be nuts to take this job.

It sounds like a poor fit to your lifestyle and I would stay where you are. One red flag on your side is the WFH because of children - surely wherever you work you shouldn't have childcare issues and should be there to work, whether from home or in the office. I appreciate WFH has advantages due to lack of commute, is this what you mean rather than childcare responsibilities when you should be working?

I think any corporate job has a contract that reads like this. You need to speak to the line manager and ask them how the team work

Double check place of work, my contract says an office but this only so I can expense trips to the office in another city, I WFH mostly

Listen to your instincts, they sound like a pain in the arse.

But don't stop applying to other companies. See this as successful interview practice and a self esteem boost :)

Working sufficient to get the job done is fairly standard in senior roles, it also means you can be flexible if the job is done ..ie knock off early that sort of thing.

Booking leave in advance is absolutely standard, how do you expect workplace to cope if you rock up and say "bye I'm off for 2 weeks tomorrow"? So I think it's utterly reasonable for them to ask for some advance notice of holidays.

Without knowing the job the restrictions on timing of holidays are hard to judge. I assume it's a sort of job where work is done on bank Holidays and other times and again, in some industries that is standard that you are restricted on leave during these periods.

In any case, it sounds like a standard contract to me rather than bespoke to you. So assuming that it just sounds like this sort of job is not ideal for you and the sort of flexibility you have today. So I'd walk away because even if you negotiate these terms to be better for you, you now understand their expectations and so you'll always be out of kilter

I’d definitely turn it down. You could try and negotiate but I’d be more worried about the culture of that workplace. I’m sure you’ll find something else which better suits you

They are unreasonable to expect you to be “ON” 24/7. It’s also illegal unless you are compensated accordingly.

I would turn it down and when asked make it clear that the contractual terms appear not to have kept up with culture. I do think in most cases people compromise on some things (flexibility, wage, responsibility or excitement of work) but you can certainly find something more balanced than zero flexibility, hours required to do the work and micro management. Good luck

Trust your instincts here op. There are far too many red flags and the pre-interview contact is also a worry boundaries are crossed all the time.

My dd2 works for a large multi national company and although the contract terms and conditions are throughout the company, bosses do vary in their expectations. DD has been approached as a team leader to speak to her senior manager about 1am emails and emails requesting jobs are undertaken on early finish Friday afternoons. My dd has learned to turn her phone off but it does make her anxious. She says he is not a bad person per se, but his enthusiasm and drive makes him unable to see staff have a life outside work.

This is far worse. Give it a big swerve op. Do not be flattered by this offer, they want far more than you can give and want to own you.

I had a job that had a contract like that. It was every bit as bad as you’re thinking it’d be, and worse. I was micromanaged on everything, even the way I set my desk up and organised my to-do list. It was ludicrous. I handed in my notice the day before my probation period ended. It was hell.

I thought employers had a legal obligation to "permit" medical appointments within working hours. I may be wrong.. Given that 90% of them are not available outside Mon-Fri, 9-5, it seems you'd have to book any appointments one month in advance on annual leave.

You're offering them your services not your entire life.

Absolutely not. I would have been put off the minute they were whatsapping about the interview late on a weekend evening!

Your current job suits your current lifestyle…. Yes it may be a bit boring but it’s flexible and it suits you and your family.

There will be time later on when the children are older to look for other jobs if you really want to.

There is no way I would want to take on a job where people thought it acceptable to message me at 9pm. I work hard while I’m there but the evening is my time. Or to have to work Christmas and other bank holidays.

You mention you always book late minute holidays….well you can only do that because your current job is so flexible.

I would contact them and say after reading the contract you have realised this is not for you and you won’t be taking up this position.

Sometimes a boring job has advantages…

I would say if you can negotiate the contract then try that. However as you correctly said, it says a lot about how they view their employees. My OH was in a job previously who were horrified that he actually took his lunch break instead of working through it (even pulled him up in it!!) and had the cheek to ask him to bring his work laptop to the hospital when I was giving birth so that he could work - he quit at this point understandably 😂 although this is the extreme there were a lot of red flags about the work culture that we should have noticed

One part of me thinks this is a great opportunity, go back to them with my none negotiables, be honest and explain my concerns, get back into job market, prove yourself and make the role your own.

I honestly would do this.

It sounds like you have a lot of anxiety because you’re not used to working FT and that’s normal.

I would give the job a go and gain the experience and if it’s not for you then look for something else.

If you're not desperate for this Job, and as turning it down does sound like an option for you, I would absolutely go back to them with your concerns as you wouldn't really have anything to lose and you'd all know where you stood.

I would not take the job. I wouldn't go back with my non negotiables either, as it sounds like a culture issue and that's really difficult to influence, even if you put in boudaries. For example you can refuse to respond to any communication or work outside your working hours but that might not stop you being bombarded by requests. If you have to 'work any hours required to get the job done' I'd expect you to be in emergency medicine, or a high earner (eg city lawyer where pulling all nighters to sort a contract before the deadline is standard, but reflected in the overall salary). If this is a standard office job in an industry where 9 til 5 is common and its just a few senior managers who have a work-all-hours mentality then I'd forget it, as there will be better jobs

Walk away go back to looking my for another job

Sounds like the job isn't suitable for you. I would just turn down the offer and keep looking.

And agree with PP that even if you negotiate, they'd probably turn around 2 months down the line and revoke all the things they'd agreed.

Every job I've ever had says I need to do whatever hours are needed to get the job done. This doesn't mean you work overtime for free, just that you'll need to be flexible eg some weeks - peak work, others less work.

Asking for a month's notice of holiday is unreasonable, sometimes even with that level of notice holidays land at the wrong time.

Ref these and your other worries, talk to them. See what they say.

For me, BH working would not work. For you it might be OK if your DP is off.

Going from SAHP to PT to FT employment are big jumps and will require adjustment.

Before yiu decide not to go ahead ask yourself 1 question. Why did you apply for the job? That's the motivation you need to test against all your reservations.

BTW I get messages and send messages when things cone to mind, I don't expect a reply back immediately. Decide when you're going to reply if people contact you over the weekend. Never by pressured by todays forms of communications.

Good luck OP.