To never save anything every month and wonder what is the point of working

[Door12345]

I don't really know what I'm looking for here just a moan and hopefully some advise to get saving and motivated
I feel stuck in a rut and don't really know what to do ,
I'm 38 and bought a small 2 bed in 2015 , but used the government help to buy scheme , I'm paying interest on that loan at moment not much that's manageable but iv no really plan for paying this off
I'm on 41k a year iv nothing saved at all and debt of around 2300 quid , this is debt owed to parents, iv around 28k equity in the house so selling isn't an option as with the current market I would t have enough of a deposit for anything better than what I have

Could any body give me some advice re my outgoing and where I might be going wrong , I have detailed below best I can , I just want some motivation to get saving

DH works full time also and buys shopping each week and has his own bills like car finance and he has credit card debt , we have just finished paying nursry bills that was 140 quid a week so from this week DH is gonna save that

My wage as follows
Take home monthly £2498

Bills including car finance - £1080
Money owed to parents I pay back at -£400 quid a month
Trying to save 500 quid also to match roughly what DH saving
Leaves me with around 140 per week personal spends which also includes fuel
What should I be saving ? I just feel bad that I owe money and so does DH , he owes around 5 grand on a credit card , we both have car finances also
I feel in a mess

Isn't it worth you and dh sitting and looking and combined family income and combined debts?

You say you’ve just finished paying nursery bills. What is a nursery bill, does that mean you have kids?

I’m sorry it’s so difficult. I can completely relate to this. I don’t think this is the right board only because people will come along and say if you didn’t have cars on finance then it wouldn’t be an issue, etc - it’s unrealistic to think you work so hard to not have those things and go without them.
I hope your situation gets better. Have you just got the one child?

£140 personal spends a week. Is that just for you? I don't think that's bad at all

Combined, I think you are in a better position than you think you are. Pool your resources. If DH can save over £600 per month you could soon get rid of your debts together.

Can you buy a second hand bike to get around? Keep one car for big shopping trips/days out. Ditch one. Do you really need two cars?

We thinking the same here...DH and I have gone through money in and out and worked out it's balanced. ..just no spare money so no money for the failing washing machine etc. Bill s are raising and I can't cut anything more off the food shopping...we doing a Tesco/Lidl mix which for what we eat is cheapest...Asda and Aldi are more expensive....we fixed everything we can. Working every thing we can ....

Yeah just the one child we have , me and DH don't really seem to communicate well either which is a separate issue he sees us as having separate money (I earn more ) and he splits everything fairly with me
I just don't know how iv got in a situation of having no savings at all and owing money also , parents will be paid off in Feb luckily

To put this into context - my salary is double of yours, and my personal allowance for the entire month is £170. This is “paid” to me by me, automatically from my main TSB salary account into my Starling account where it’s divided into spaces for coffees, lunches, takeaways and personal fancies.

Your personal allowance is on the other hand £560 a month. On half my salary. Just for context. You asked how to save. This, I’m afraid is, how.

Sorry just seen
You save approx £400
DH saves approx £1000 taking into account the nursery fees
Debt approx £8000??

Has he got his debt on an interest free card? If not try to get one. You could easily shift your debts within 12 months if I've done the sums right?

Well by the sound of it you will have paid off the loan to your parents in about 6 months do then you will be £400 a month better off.

Do you need to save £500 per month? I mean, it's great that you do but can you afford it?

Leaves me with around 140 per week personal spends which also includes fuel

How much do you spend on fuel and what do you count as "personal spends*

Fuel is about 50 quid a week of which I can claim half back from my employer but I don't get it back until the following month , I use the rest for just day to day stuff really , I just want to do better going forward
What do people give themselves to spend each week ?

Together you're saving £1k a month. That's huge. Way more than most.

My help to buy loan is 24k and we havnt saved a penny of it

£140 a week is loads! More than I get to spend on myself for a month. If you want to save more you need to spend less...

Get a notebook and make a note of everything you spend for a month… everything. Then look where you can save. It’s easy to overspend on food for example, if you don’t plan meals in advance.

What are you spending £100 a week on?

When you finish paying your parents in a few months you will have that to work with too.

So my Weekley expenses
Slimming world 7 quid
Zumba class 5 quid
About 50 in fuel
The rest just seems to get spent mainly on my little one mainly days out at the weekend but I really do need to cut back so maybe just parks and things would be better
I don't really eat out as trying to loose weight , might have the occasional coffee

I'm confused - aren't you budgeting for a saving of £500/month? If so that is quite a lot by most people's standards. Is that pure saving or is it saving for particular uses (e.g. will you definitely use it for a holiday)?

Of the other £140/week for personal spend how much is purely discretionary spend (i.e. once you take out spend on fuel and any other essential costs)?

I thought that the general advice was not to try and save if you have debts (especially those with interest). If your husbands debts have interest I'd look at pooling your money and paying those off as a priority, reducing your spending a bit to get it paid off as soon as you can and then reassess after a year

I would count your spends on your child as family money, not your personal spending money.

It does add up, even a trip to soft play can be £20. I spend far more on the kids than I do on myself.

Activities like church/community playgroups are really cheap compared to days out.

I give myself £50 a month as spending money, but that's after anything booked like a haircut or a planned dinner out.

I'd recommend using the MSE budget spreadsheet- you list everything, things that you buy weekly, monthly and yearly to give a true picture of your outgoings.

We then used that to plan for each month but also to have three savings accounts: one for general saving, one for annual bills like insurance, car tax etc, and one for household replacements/repairs.

I know some people keep finances separate but I'd find that hard as I'd never really know how we are doing, eg I might feel great if I save £200 one month but it wouldn't mean a lot if DH had a grand on a credit card.

This. My gross salary is 3x yours (net not quite so much, because tax) and I have £125 per week personal spends (just under, £500 per month). That doesn’t include fuel though, but that’s only £50 per month for me.

We actually don’t really save either as we are focusing on paying down (interest free) debts but will be done by January when we will start to save. As a couple we will then be saving £1,500 a month. If you save what you’re paying your parents, then surely you won’t be far off that between you?

I don’t think you’re in a bad position at all, particularly given your salaries.

Its my husbands choice to keep finance separate I don't really mind because he pays half everything, but I can't get my head round people saying like they have 100 quod for the month , I took my daughter soft play today 8 quid entry , a coffee and a drink and a bit of lunch that was 27 quid
I know we could of gone park but everything is so expensive isn't it x

Are you saying you currently save £500 a or you want to but don’t seem to be able to??
Theres plenty of room in your finances to save the £500.
Transfer it to savings on pay day and then just budget for the month accordingly.
When you’ve paid your parents back you will have £900 to save.

Good Lord, OP. DH and I have a combined income of over £150k, and we have £100 a MONTH each as personal spends! We save a whole lot more than you, though! We do also have another account for "family spends" which we transfer loads to, but that covers private school fees, uni costs and any other child related expenses for two teenagers, so not really comparable to a few days at the park etc for your little one.

But gosh, no, since having children, we've never had lots of personal spending money each, despite being pretty good earners. We've both always prioritised essential bill expenditure, savings, and where there is spare capacity, treats and extras for the children. £140 per WEEK for one person (so presumably well over a grand between you) just for frittering is a massive amount of money! Don't feel hard done by!