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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is a bit out of order

105 replies

teaforme33 · 04/09/2023 17:32

I've seen loads of people going on holiday today. Obviously prices will have gone down as the kids go back to school but aibu to think this is a bit shitty for the kids? I'm not against term time holidays and have taken mine out before but never right at the start of a new year.

I think it's massively unfair for kids who are moving up to a new school to totally deprive them of those first few weeks of meeting new friends and settling in to a brand new environment. I would say it's also quite unsettling for those who are just moving up a year in the same school. It's still a change of dynamic, teacher, routine. By the time they get back everyone will have settled down and it just feels like they are starting the year on a disadvantage.

And yes we're in a cost of living crisis and people do what they need to but I honestly can't imagine having 6 weeks off then choosing to whip my kids out of the first week of school just to go to center parcs or something. I would rather find a cheaper holiday during the time off.

OP posts:
teaforme33 · 04/09/2023 22:16

Barbiesback · 04/09/2023 22:13

@teaforme33 where are all these cheap holidays? Where? Do you have a link? I agree with you that September is not the greatest time of the year. However I have looked myself and prices do drop, not a week or choose however to make a thread about it OP. Well.

Camping?
Cheap b&b city or seaside break?
Certain holiday parks (not center parcs)

Yeah it's not abroad, but my point was I would personally choose a cheaper holiday in the 6 weeks holidays rather than a better value, abroad holiday at the start of the year. It also makes more sense for annual leave - take the time off while the kids are off rather than in term time when childcare is covered by school.

This is just my opinion. I didn't say everyone has to agree.

OP posts:
Barbiesback · 04/09/2023 22:21

@teaforme33 and I have already said I've done Butlins and it's not cheap earlier in the thread. I do agree with you about September being a poor choice I just said YABU as it's not your business tbh!

Random789 · 04/09/2023 22:26

Wow, very different attitudes now from around 20 years ago when my children were small. There was a real spasm of concern then about families taking term-time holidays. Politicians spoke about it, as I recall, and schools became really hot on issuing prohibitions and penalties.
I can remember getting wrong off of my son's primary school for taking him out of school for one afternoon for a non-medical reason. I think the headteacher would have shot me if I'd taken my boys out of school for a holiday.
As I remember it (and my memory is shit so I might be wrong) the majority of posts on MN then pretty much endorsed this hostile attitude to term-time hols

JudgeRudy · 04/09/2023 22:27

Not everyone has the luxury of being able to find a cheaper holiday in the school hols. They might be taking a really cheap one already. I'm sure parents consider these things and feel on balance it's worth it. Not all kids are anxious about change at school or too concerned about starting late. It's a case of the pros outweighing the cons

BitOutOfPractice · 04/09/2023 22:29

Where have you “seen” all these people op?

teaforme33 · 04/09/2023 22:30

Barbiesback · 04/09/2023 22:21

@teaforme33 and I have already said I've done Butlins and it's not cheap earlier in the thread. I do agree with you about September being a poor choice I just said YABU as it's not your business tbh!

Butlins isn't cheap. I've been there and spent a fortune. But there are other holiday parks, maybe not as many facilities as Butlins or Center Parcs but there are cheaper options to be had.

It's not my business. I totally agree. But if people never had opinions on things that don't affect them personally I think MN would be a pretty quiet place! I don't plan to tell anyone this or start a petition or anything. It's just an anonymous thread on a forum expressing an opinion.

OP posts:
Cadenza12 · 04/09/2023 22:30

I had a relative who took their kids out of school for 2 weeks every year. By the end of their schooldays they had missed almost 6 months of term time and yes it made a difference.

teaforme33 · 04/09/2023 22:30

BitOutOfPractice · 04/09/2023 22:29

Where have you “seen” all these people op?

Social media posts.

OP posts:
Barbiesback · 04/09/2023 22:31

@Random789 20 years ago? I'm a 90s baby. All these new rules and regulations schools have now are relatively new. So I find your post a bit off. Loads of people went away 20 years ago and they were not policed for it. Scotland and Ireland seem to mange.

CardiganBardigan · 04/09/2023 22:35

BorrowedThyme · 04/09/2023 21:06

Or go camping for 10% of the cost....

People always mention camping on threads about holidays. Camping is fucking shit. I'd rather sit in my living room with the curtains drawn for a week than go camping.

Travel is affordable during term time. It's prohibitively expensive during school holidays. The airlines and travel companies are robbing many children of the opportunity to travel. Rather than punish parents for wanting to have those precious memories with their children, the government should stop the travel company cartels from shameless profiteering. It's just really shit.

pancakestastelikecrepe · 04/09/2023 22:36

How about AIBU (hypothetically) to be apoplectic that my child's teacher didn't show up for DCs first week in a new year group/school because they'd gone on holiday?
OP, YANBU

Random789 · 04/09/2023 22:37

15 yrs ago may be more accurate actually. I was wrong to say 20.

Rainrockshell · 04/09/2023 22:37

A few days before term ends, every now and again, I can understand. The first week or 2 🤔of a new school year is not a good idea is it, it interferes with the kid settling in. It sends a clear signal to children that their education doesn't come first.

Mehmeh22 · 04/09/2023 22:39

As a child, I was put on a camping trip with my church and it happened to be the first week of high school. It genuinely shaped the rest of my school life. I always felt like the third wheel, so OP, I agree with you. End of term, OK, but not the beginning.

ItWasAllFields · 04/09/2023 22:40

Mine always go the last week in September and over the first week in October.
It's cheaper to pay the £60 fine than it is to go in the school holidays.
For example, this year's holiday to Greece, for two adults and two kids is almost £800 cheaper than if I'd booked it to go in the school holidays, even after paying the fine.
So I'll continue to have our holiday in term time, thank you.

teaforme33 · 04/09/2023 22:43

ItWasAllFields · 04/09/2023 22:40

Mine always go the last week in September and over the first week in October.
It's cheaper to pay the £60 fine than it is to go in the school holidays.
For example, this year's holiday to Greece, for two adults and two kids is almost £800 cheaper than if I'd booked it to go in the school holidays, even after paying the fine.
So I'll continue to have our holiday in term time, thank you.

But that's not the first week of of a new year is it so you've missed the main point of the thread...

OP posts:
Mehmeh22 · 04/09/2023 22:50

Think you've hit a nerve @teaforme33 lol

pinotgringo · 04/09/2023 22:52

Eek - my son has gone from the nursery class to the reception class today. Same friends from the nursery class, they've all gone up together but new teachers. He's 4.

We fly out on our holiday in 3 weeks time. I know he isn't compulsory until he's 5, and my husband works in tourism and can't take time off in the school holidays so we don't really have a choice. We went for end of September to get better weather without having to fly too far.

I really hope I'm not disadvantaging him. It's hard because my husbands job will never allow for holidays in the summer, are we genuinely supposed to never have a family holiday? We have already discussed the years we'd avoid, such as important ones like year 7 and any exam years. Primary we kinda thought isn't a big deal.

Perhaps we will avoid September/October going forwards. Not all of us do it because we don't care about our kids or their education we do it because we don't have a choice other than doing it or missing out on family holidays. Some of my best childhood memories are on holiday, I want that for my kids too.

WandaWonder · 04/09/2023 22:52

teaforme33 · 04/09/2023 22:10

I'm pretty sure I haven't said it 'has to stop'. It's not my business what other families do. However I'm entitled to have a general opinion on it. Have you never had an opinion on anything?

Sure I have an opinion (not realted to the topic though) that fake tan looks terrible, that is what I think the idea that people shouldn't use fake tan because it would make me look paler crosses the line into judgement to me.

Same as 'going on holiday at the start of term' is an opinion but 'they can't do it because of heaps of reason I have come up with' is odd

BitOutOfPractice · 04/09/2023 22:55

teaforme33 · 04/09/2023 22:30

Social media posts.

Ah! Verified by Facebook 🙄

Hollydays · 05/09/2023 00:09

I was always very obedient re not going away despite my teacher friends all telling me the data had been misinterpreted. High absence equates with poor performance so Gvt sought to minimise absence, without looking at other factors which correlated absence and poor performance.

Anyway after Covid and being off all the time I took my children away during term time and neither have been negatively affected.

You've taken your kids out, seems like you just object to the timing which I don't understand?

BorrowedThyme · 05/09/2023 03:38

CardiganBardigan · 04/09/2023 22:35

People always mention camping on threads about holidays. Camping is fucking shit. I'd rather sit in my living room with the curtains drawn for a week than go camping.

Travel is affordable during term time. It's prohibitively expensive during school holidays. The airlines and travel companies are robbing many children of the opportunity to travel. Rather than punish parents for wanting to have those precious memories with their children, the government should stop the travel company cartels from shameless profiteering. It's just really shit.

but if the main concern for these parents is genuinely to provide their children with life enhancing holidays, they would be perfectly happy to take them camping. Yes it is hard work, but it is also an amazing experience for children. Obviously, they need parents to have a positive attitude though!

Ineedcoffee2021 · 05/09/2023 04:00

We went on holiday as term 1 went back in Aus a few years ago for 2 weeks.
There were no crowds, was cheaper and we had such a good time, that holiday became the catalyst for us moving state to the holiday destination

Zero regrets
Now we homeschool so a non issue for us but id not even bat an eyelid if a parent pulled their kid out for a holiday

BorrowedThyme · 05/09/2023 04:02

Travel is affordable during term time. It's prohibitively expensive during school holidays. The airlines and travel companies are robbing many children of the opportunity to travel. Rather than punish parents for wanting to have those precious memories with their children, the government should stop the travel company cartels from shameless profiteering. It's just really shit.

this is the most ridiculous post! Nobody is robbing anybody of anything! Not being able to afford an unnecessary luxury is not robbery! I can't afford a car, is the car industry "robbing" me of the opportunity to drive 😂

The price does not go up in school holidays, that is the price of travel. What happens is the price goes down off peak, to get more custom when if would otherwise be less.

Holiday companies are not "shamelessly profiteering,"- they are commercial companies providing a luxury service, which you can't afford.

If parents want "precious memories" of taking children away, go camping, go away in the uk, go on cheap holidays -

of course, there are people on this thread that actually have no interest in providing an enriching experience for their children, because they would take them on cheap camping holidays if they did. They want a luxury for themselves, and are dressing it up as "won't somebody think of the children".

Foreign holidays are a luxury, not an entitlement. Nor are they in any way "essential for mental health" 😂That is a ridiculous arguement - I could just as well argue that needing a million pounds in the bank is "essential for my mental health" - so I am entitled to it!

Most people manage perfectly well without feeling entitled to these immense luxuries. Some people have the funding to enjoy immense luxuries! ( like the poster on here paying £1600 for a holiday for two in term time- complaining about how badly off they are while spending undreamt about amounts on a luxury)

Lovely if you can afford them, but most people can't.

Ineedcoffee2021 · 05/09/2023 04:03

BorrowedThyme · 05/09/2023 03:38

but if the main concern for these parents is genuinely to provide their children with life enhancing holidays, they would be perfectly happy to take them camping. Yes it is hard work, but it is also an amazing experience for children. Obviously, they need parents to have a positive attitude though!

why would people be 'perfectly happy' to camp if thats not what the family is ordinarily into?
Can guarantee my kid would last 1 night before saying she over it and wants a proper bed