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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a bit out of order

105 replies

teaforme33 · 04/09/2023 17:32

I've seen loads of people going on holiday today. Obviously prices will have gone down as the kids go back to school but aibu to think this is a bit shitty for the kids? I'm not against term time holidays and have taken mine out before but never right at the start of a new year.

I think it's massively unfair for kids who are moving up to a new school to totally deprive them of those first few weeks of meeting new friends and settling in to a brand new environment. I would say it's also quite unsettling for those who are just moving up a year in the same school. It's still a change of dynamic, teacher, routine. By the time they get back everyone will have settled down and it just feels like they are starting the year on a disadvantage.

And yes we're in a cost of living crisis and people do what they need to but I honestly can't imagine having 6 weeks off then choosing to whip my kids out of the first week of school just to go to center parcs or something. I would rather find a cheaper holiday during the time off.

OP posts:
Barbiesback · 04/09/2023 21:19

@BorrowedThyme I'm a single parent. I tried to tagged and agree with another poster but it hasn't worked. I do not want to go camping no disrepect I shall not ask you what you regard as luxury but just because someone gets a plane once a year doesn't equal luxury in my world. I've done Butlins also and it's not cheap.

You sound uptight and like you do with a "luxury" holiday yourself!

BorrowedThyme · 04/09/2023 21:20

Barbiesback · 04/09/2023 21:19

@BorrowedThyme I'm a single parent. I tried to tagged and agree with another poster but it hasn't worked. I do not want to go camping no disrepect I shall not ask you what you regard as luxury but just because someone gets a plane once a year doesn't equal luxury in my world. I've done Butlins also and it's not cheap.

You sound uptight and like you do with a "luxury" holiday yourself!

It is an immense privilege and luxury, whether you recognise it or not

ToxicPositivity · 04/09/2023 21:22

I've never actually considered a start of year holiday, it does seem a bit odd to do so, mind you we're in Scotland so the prices would be peak English holiday costs. Usually take mine out at some point of the last week without a single thought as it's so much cheaper.

jallopeno · 04/09/2023 21:25

Barbiesback · 04/09/2023 21:10

@BorrowedThyme you can't go abroad all inclusive in summer for less than £1600 I'm always scouting holidays. £800pp isn't bad depending on the duration of the holiday. Prices have been super expensive. During covid... I booked for May this year £600pp for 9 nights in Turkey AL. I can't get a holiday for next year that price. Its hardly luxury some of us just cut back and do overtime to pay for our holidays far inadvance.

That's a luxury!

ToxicPositivity · 04/09/2023 21:25

Barbiesback · 04/09/2023 21:19

@BorrowedThyme I'm a single parent. I tried to tagged and agree with another poster but it hasn't worked. I do not want to go camping no disrepect I shall not ask you what you regard as luxury but just because someone gets a plane once a year doesn't equal luxury in my world. I've done Butlins also and it's not cheap.

You sound uptight and like you do with a "luxury" holiday yourself!

Damn right Butlins ain't cheap. We went this summer. 1k for caravan, 500 for taxi and train. At least a grand, over the ten days on food and drinks. Have booked Bulgaria AI next year.

Phos · 04/09/2023 21:26

I'm taking my daughter out for the last 4 days of the year due to availability of where we wanted to go. Our other option was to go right at the end of the summer holidays and have her miss the first week. We felt that missing the first few days and not having that time to settle in, meet the new teacher and just generally get to grips with the transition would set her off on the back foot from the start. DD is in primary.

I'd possibly feel similarly about secondary. I missed the first week of Y11 (unavoidable, unforeseen circumstances) and it was a bloody nightmare trying to catch up.

Barbiesback · 04/09/2023 21:32

@jallopeno where do you go on holiday? Please share your tips with us. Is it really luxury or perhaps I'm just money savvy and choose to spend on holidays instead of things like a car, latest phone or whatever. Its quite presumptuous of you to assume people's lives you know nothing about. I'm a single mother FFS nothing luxury about my life at all if only!

Chippy4me · 04/09/2023 21:35

September is one of the cheapest months to go on holiday for this very reason but I think it’s a shitty thing to do, especially if they are transitioning to a new school.

RudsyFarmer · 04/09/2023 21:36

If I were going to do it it would make much more sense to take them out early in the summer than early in September. In my experience the autumn and early winter is when the majority of work gets done. Summer it’s easing into more fun activities.

Preeeettyprettygood · 04/09/2023 21:40

@BorrowedThyme Oh do one! You have no idea of my circumstances, how long I've actually been saving for, the reasons why I can't take my child a way any time. Yes it is a huge amount that I have rightly saved. You know nothing.

The fact that you've laughed at "mental health" and told posters to get a grip..
Disgusting

giggly · 04/09/2023 21:44

You do know that many workplaces have restrictions on when you can take annual leave don’t you? I work in the NHS and have worked in jobs where there was no availability for leave in the summer holidays at all so no option to
leavw outwith. Fire service/ Police/ armed services all in the same boat, no doubt many other workplaces as well.

Empresstea · 04/09/2023 21:46

BorrowedThyme · 04/09/2023 21:05

If you have that much to spend on a holiday, then you do have luxury and choice! That is a monstrous amount for two of you! You could go away in the summer or October half term for less than half of that very easily

Show quote history

Monstrous? God you'd need smelling salts if you knew how much really wealthy people spent on holidays

giggly · 04/09/2023 21:46

Chippy4me · 04/09/2023 21:35

September is one of the cheapest months to go on holiday for this very reason but I think it’s a shitty thing to do, especially if they are transitioning to a new school.

I think it’s shitty of you to have such a narrow not well thought out opinion, but there you are

Bobby80 · 04/09/2023 21:51

Octosaurus · 04/09/2023 20:23

Education includes travel, culture and experience, it's not all about school. The first week will be settling in anyway probably the best time to miss

As a teacher I'd disagree.

If you are taking your child out (which I would absolutely do if I wasn't limited to school holidays, so no judgement here!) then the last week of term is without doubt less disruptive - academically and socially- than the first week.

Willmafrockfit · 04/09/2023 21:54

you can feel it is out of order, or you can just live and let live.
sometimes the first week of september for a holiday is the only affordable time some families get.

Willmafrockfit · 04/09/2023 21:54

i remember a mother at school saying they had to go to Turkey late in September as it was too hot in August!

BorrowedThyme · 04/09/2023 21:58

Preeeettyprettygood · 04/09/2023 21:40

@BorrowedThyme Oh do one! You have no idea of my circumstances, how long I've actually been saving for, the reasons why I can't take my child a way any time. Yes it is a huge amount that I have rightly saved. You know nothing.

The fact that you've laughed at "mental health" and told posters to get a grip..
Disgusting

Edited

You want to go on a luxury holiday, you go right ahead! But honestly, get out of your privileged entitled ivory tower and have a look around the real world. Most people can't afford that, or anywhere near that!

You are one of a very elite and privileged band - and good for you!

But please don't pretend, even to yourself, that this is anything other than a massive luxury

WandaWonder · 04/09/2023 21:59

Sure I don't get it, but it's none of your business, I get sick of this 'it has to stop because I say so it's all about me'

Twiglets1 · 04/09/2023 22:00

I used to work in a school and always felt sorry for the kids who had to start a few days late due to holidays. They took longer to settle in.

I’ve taken my own kids on holiday during term term before I worked in a school myself so no judgment from that point of view. But it’s a lot easier on the kids if you take them out towards the end of a term rather than at the beginning of a new school year.

Barbiesback · 04/09/2023 22:02

@BorrowedThyme give over. @jallopeno is currently on the lipstick thread and she would pay £30 for 1 lipstick some would deem this as luxury. Its horses for courses and people choose to spend on different things to you clearly.

Original poster
teaforme33 · 04/09/2023 22:08

Barbiesback · 04/09/2023 21:01

YABU. I'm a single parent where are these cheaper holidays? This topic is always unpopular but some of us go away for the sake of our mental health! I manged to book in May half term next year to Egypt and its cost over £1000pp for 11 nights. If I went during school time I could probably get more for my money!

I just don't see why this is for you to worry about at all.

I'm not worried about it and I'm not judging. It's an opinion. MN is full of them. I have said myself I've taken my kids out in term time, once the school year is well established. I wouldn't do the first week of term because I think it's the most important time for settling in.

There are loads of cheap holidays. Loads.

OP posts:
cariadlet · 04/09/2023 22:09

I'm a teacher. I understand why parents take children out of school for holidays as it's so much cheaper than in the school holidays but I do agree with the teacher who posted previously that the first week of the new school year is absolutely the worst week to choose.

Children are getting to know their new teacher, getting used to new systems and routines. There are often initial assessments. That settling in period is really important.

Original poster
teaforme33 · 04/09/2023 22:10

WandaWonder · 04/09/2023 21:59

Sure I don't get it, but it's none of your business, I get sick of this 'it has to stop because I say so it's all about me'

I'm pretty sure I haven't said it 'has to stop'. It's not my business what other families do. However I'm entitled to have a general opinion on it. Have you never had an opinion on anything?

OP posts:
Barbiesback · 04/09/2023 22:13

@teaforme33 where are all these cheap holidays? Where? Do you have a link? I agree with you that September is not the greatest time of the year. However I have looked myself and prices do drop, not a week or choose however to make a thread about it OP. Well.

PurpleFlower1983 · 04/09/2023 22:16

It think it does make it harder for children to settle and they’re often on the back foot when it comes to the early relationships that are built in those first few days but I understand why parents do it.