Page 3 | To reply to sarcastic family member who wasn’t invited to wedding?

Pithyresponse · 2023-09-04T14:04:37+00:00

I’m itching to respond but I know it would be childish. A relative we’ve met only once has posted a sarcastic message on another family member’s social media (likely not realising we can see it) saying “please thank Pithy and Mr Pithy for our wedding invite but it didn’t arrive in time 😂” We’re more amused than annoyed. It was a lovely small wedding with about 50 close family and friends. Sarcastic relative seemed really nice but we’ve literally met them once some years ago (it’s a somewhat long lost family scenario). So, do we leave it? Or reply saying sorry you weren’t invited? Or think up a pithy response?

isitshe · 04/09/2023 17:37

Muchonachomiamigo · 04/09/2023 15:08

I'd comment 'who dis?'

But I am petty.

😂

Mirabai · 04/09/2023 17:41

I don’t think it’s to have a go at you OP, you’re being oversensitive.

Its ok if they were disappointed not to be invited. It’s ok for them to acknowledge and smooth over the fact they weren’t with a joke.

Replying would be super gauche.

Tinkerbyebye · 04/09/2023 17:49

I would be tempted to get the family member they posted on to go back and say I passed on your message and leave it at that

SerafinasGoose · 04/09/2023 17:52

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 04/09/2023 16:03

I'd completely ignore it.
They are trying start a little convo with the other relative and get a bit of sympathy as well as hope you'll see the barb.

If you like it, they've achieved their object. If they were just joking, no harm done, if they were being petty, it will annoy them more if you are blissfully unaware.

💯%.

Sometimes, the better part of valour is discretion. Silence is its own form of response, and no one can ever criticize you for something you didn't say.

Lottaflowers · 04/09/2023 17:54

Don't respond, that's what they are counting on!

I had a lot of interesting passive-aggressive-type comments from family members who weren't invited to our very small wedding. I just ignored most comments or pretended that I didn't know what they were referring to when they were implying things but not being direct 😂The only 2 people that actually needed to be at our wedding were myself and DH. Why other people feel entitled to an invite I have no idea!

IaltagDhubh · 04/09/2023 18:09

JaukiVexnoydi · 04/09/2023 17:12

Don't reply publicly. Pithy point-scoring is inappropriate.

Send them a nice notelet card with a handwritten message saying something like
"I saw your comment on Aunty Kate's Facebook, and just wanted to send you our very best wishes and hopes that over the years we will get to know each other properly, but our wedding in July wasn't the place for that. It wasn't the sort of wedding where relatives you've met only once get invited, it was just a small event with guest list limited to the small number of people who either Steve or I have known and been close to all our lives. I'm really sorry that we didn't grow up knowing you but we can't change the past. There are hundreds of people who we would have invited if it had been that kind of wedding, and of course you would have been on the list if that had been the sort of thing we did, but I am sure you understand that a lot of weddings these days are just very small, and the wedding we had was just right for us. I really hope we get to get to know eachother better when everyone gets together at Christmas, if not before."

This!

Mature, dignified, and will totally make them burn with embarrassment at their twattishness! 😆

VictoriaVenkman · 04/09/2023 18:17

ZadocPDederick · 04/09/2023 16:10

Not really, as they have no reason to know OP has seen it.

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Not the point

ACynicalDad · 04/09/2023 18:37

If you've got any left put one in the post now, it will appear lost then.

Optionyougot · 04/09/2023 20:55

VictoriaVenkman · 04/09/2023 18:17

Not the point

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I mean if your aim is to go for "the loudest message you can send", surely a message the recipient is actually aware of is pretty integral to the point?

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 04/09/2023 20:58

I love someone of these responses 😅

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 04/09/2023 20:59

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 04/09/2023 20:58

I love someone of these responses 😅

Some not someone ffs! 😂

Optionyougot · 04/09/2023 21:00

OP only you will know if this would be a shit joke, a snide dig or an honest comment. I don't think I'd acknowledge it because it's not meant for me - and if someone was that pressed about not receiving an invite they had better speak to me if they want an explanation.

I'd file this under "not worth my time"

londonrach · 04/09/2023 21:01

Ignore

BellaJuno · 04/09/2023 21:09

Surely this is exactly the type of situation the 👍 is made for!

lto2019 · 04/09/2023 21:16

I'd reply not cos it's the best thing to do though. I'd reply we've only met you once!

Original poster

Pithyresponse · 05/09/2023 01:04

TreesandRug · 04/09/2023 16:49

How about 'I think the card and present from RandomRelative must be stuck in the same post as the invitation'

I think this one wins it!

We won't be responding (though a sneaky thumbs up or laughing emoji is still extremely tempting, but I don't want to cause a war). On reflection, it was probably meant in a jokey way and they're probably not aware we can see what they've typed. Both relatives aren't particularly social media-savvy.

OP posts:

Original poster

Pithyresponse · 05/09/2023 01:06

JaukiVexnoydi · 04/09/2023 17:12

Don't reply publicly. Pithy point-scoring is inappropriate.

Send them a nice notelet card with a handwritten message saying something like
"I saw your comment on Aunty Kate's Facebook, and just wanted to send you our very best wishes and hopes that over the years we will get to know each other properly, but our wedding in July wasn't the place for that. It wasn't the sort of wedding where relatives you've met only once get invited, it was just a small event with guest list limited to the small number of people who either Steve or I have known and been close to all our lives. I'm really sorry that we didn't grow up knowing you but we can't change the past. There are hundreds of people who we would have invited if it had been that kind of wedding, and of course you would have been on the list if that had been the sort of thing we did, but I am sure you understand that a lot of weddings these days are just very small, and the wedding we had was just right for us. I really hope we get to get to know eachother better when everyone gets together at Christmas, if not before."

It would be amusing if we even knew their address - or even the town they live in. We have a rough idea of the county, but that's all.

OP posts:

silverretrieve · 05/09/2023 01:10

I think this is a time where you keep scrolling and don’t engage with that comment. Social media is not the best way to address that comment, if anything the person who posted the photo should deal with it.

Cherishednotspoilt · 05/09/2023 07:15

I don't read that as sarcastic! Especially as you've only met them once before, no one would really expect to be invited when you hardly know a person!

Just a little piece of poorly timed humour!

Scoda · 05/09/2023 07:32

Well yes just forget about it,like you have said you only met them once or twice in your life so why should you be bothered!!!!!??? . If I was you I'd just be greatful that you have actually found someone you love and who loves you ,as many don't even get that . You will just come across as petty. Please just get on with your life and maybe count your blessings

icelollycraving · 05/09/2023 07:37

I’d simply like the comment.

NeedToChangeName · 05/09/2023 07:57

JaukiVexnoydi · 04/09/2023 17:12

Don't reply publicly. Pithy point-scoring is inappropriate.

Send them a nice notelet card with a handwritten message saying something like
"I saw your comment on Aunty Kate's Facebook, and just wanted to send you our very best wishes and hopes that over the years we will get to know each other properly, but our wedding in July wasn't the place for that. It wasn't the sort of wedding where relatives you've met only once get invited, it was just a small event with guest list limited to the small number of people who either Steve or I have known and been close to all our lives. I'm really sorry that we didn't grow up knowing you but we can't change the past. There are hundreds of people who we would have invited if it had been that kind of wedding, and of course you would have been on the list if that had been the sort of thing we did, but I am sure you understand that a lot of weddings these days are just very small, and the wedding we had was just right for us. I really hope we get to get to know eachother better when everyone gets together at Christmas, if not before."

@JaukiVexnoydi I like this approach

DizzyDaisy321 · 05/09/2023 09:15

I would haha emoji on the comment for sure but that's all!

girlfriend44 · 05/09/2023 09:25

Leave it, what's wrong with everyone trying to have the last word.

They aren't coming, just move on, instead of tit for tat rubbish online. Childish.

Dascha · 05/09/2023 09:32

It was just a small one TBF... promise to invite you to all our future weddings xx