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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To reply to sarcastic family member who wasn’t invited to wedding?

102 replies

Pithyresponse · 04/09/2023 15:04

I’m itching to respond but I know it would be childish.

A relative we’ve met only once has posted a sarcastic message on another family member’s social media (likely not realising we can see it) saying “please thank Pithy and Mr Pithy for our wedding invite but it didn’t arrive in time 😂”

We’re more amused than annoyed. It was a lovely small wedding with about 50 close family and friends. Sarcastic relative seemed really nice but we’ve literally met them once some years ago (it’s a somewhat long lost family scenario).

So, do we leave it? Or reply saying sorry you weren’t invited? Or think up a pithy response?

OP posts:
ZadocPDederick · 04/09/2023 16:10

VictoriaVenkman · 04/09/2023 15:29

No response is the loudest message you can send

Not really, as they have no reason to know OP has seen it.

AgnesX · 04/09/2023 16:10

Another vote for a joke. Unless there's some humongous back story.

People seem to be very sensitive today.

HowToSaveAWife · 04/09/2023 16:11

I'd 'like' the comment then check in a few hours to see if it's disappeared/been edited/or if you've been blocked.

Ohthatsabitshit · 04/09/2023 16:11

It’s just a joke. Totally unremarkworthy and not meant rudely.

ZadocPDederick · 04/09/2023 16:11

Stompythedinosaur · 04/09/2023 15:41

The temptation to reply "So sorry, it was a small wedding so we had to limit invites to relatives we like".

I'd be more tempted to reply "Strange, because we didn't send one".

Ascendant15 · 04/09/2023 16:13

Muchonachomiamigo · 04/09/2023 15:08

I'd comment 'who dis?'

But I am petty.

That was my first thought too :-)

Carouselfish · 04/09/2023 16:26

Wonder if this was the same caller I heard on the radio who said they were planning on showing up to their cousin's wedding despite no invitation and the wedding falling around their own birthday.

confusedmum2023 · 04/09/2023 16:28

so many choices of what to do on here 🤣 I would now be stuck on what idea to choose! I personally love the:
-who dis?
-like the comment
-'Shame you didn't get the invite in time, we really missed you.'

Each of these made me laugh and gave me a bit of satisfaction. Personally I wouldn’t be able to do nothing even if it’s the best course of action.

Thehop · 04/09/2023 16:39

I'd add my own hug or laugh emoji

ICanBuyMyOwnBooks · 04/09/2023 16:42

I don't think that is sarcastic. It's funny.
You feeling slighted by their comment is all about you, not them. You would look petty af if you responded in any way. And you'd also be bringing drama to the other family member's page. I hate people who do that.

LightandAiry · 04/09/2023 16:48

You had a lovely wedding and couldn't invite everyone. I'd let it go. I assume you are not likely to see them again, maybe they felt left out, but they should understand at the same time.

TreesandRug · 04/09/2023 16:49

How about 'I think the card and present from RandomRelative must be stuck in the same post as the invitation'

PoshPineapple · 04/09/2023 16:55

Stompythedinosaur · 04/09/2023 15:41

The temptation to reply "So sorry, it was a small wedding so we had to limit invites to relatives we like".

I'd be tempted to say "..... had to limit invites to relatives we actually KNOW"

😆

LyndaSnellsSniff · 04/09/2023 16:58

In all likelihood it's either;

a lighthearted jokey comment. No response needed...or

they might be feeling a bit hurt/sensitive about not being invited and posted it in the heat of the moment. They might even be regretting it now. Also, no response needed.

derxa · 04/09/2023 16:59

So many odd people on here. Instead of crafting a nasty reply just ignore.

SummerIsBack · 04/09/2023 16:59

Why is it funny, I don’t get the joke?

Womencanlift · 04/09/2023 17:00

I don’t think it’s a funny or humorous comment at all. Sounds passive aggressive to me, maybe cos I have known people to do similar messages.

If it was me I would just ignore it. They will take any reaction, even a like, as another excuse to say something. You could always say to the person who the message was sent to “oh I see Mr only seen you once was annoyed about not being invited. I assume they realise it was close friends and family only”.

Janetstreetwater · 04/09/2023 17:05

Muchonachomiamigo · 04/09/2023 15:08

I'd comment 'who dis?'

But I am petty.

😂😂

Maddy70 · 04/09/2023 17:10

I don't think they're being mean. They were trying to be funny

girlfriend44 · 04/09/2023 17:10

Ignore, ignore, ignore, silence is power.
Do t go down to their level. Move on.

JaukiVexnoydi · 04/09/2023 17:12

Don't reply publicly. Pithy point-scoring is inappropriate.

Send them a nice notelet card with a handwritten message saying something like
"I saw your comment on Aunty Kate's Facebook, and just wanted to send you our very best wishes and hopes that over the years we will get to know each other properly, but our wedding in July wasn't the place for that. It wasn't the sort of wedding where relatives you've met only once get invited, it was just a small event with guest list limited to the small number of people who either Steve or I have known and been close to all our lives. I'm really sorry that we didn't grow up knowing you but we can't change the past. There are hundreds of people who we would have invited if it had been that kind of wedding, and of course you would have been on the list if that had been the sort of thing we did, but I am sure you understand that a lot of weddings these days are just very small, and the wedding we had was just right for us. I really hope we get to get to know eachother better when everyone gets together at Christmas, if not before."

SkaneTos · 04/09/2023 17:14

If you have only met them once in your whole life, they are probably joking!

diddl · 04/09/2023 17:15

SummerIsBack · 04/09/2023 16:59

Why is it funny, I don’t get the joke?

Me neither!

Is there some context?

Is it because of the laughing(?) emoji?

Snittle · 04/09/2023 17:18

I’d reply and say “what a pity, the address we have must be out of date given we haven’t seen you since 2005”.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 04/09/2023 17:19

As some people seem to think it's really offensive, why not post a thumbs up emoji underneath?

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