Kids at the park

[Imissthe00s]

This is somewhat lighthearted but at the same time argh!😂

Ive had 3 hours sleep. Brought 2 kids the park (I’m a nanny), small park with lots of play equipment. I filled water bottles, brought snacks.

All I asked is that they go play and just give me some time to chill as no actual break so have to fit in time to breath and eat when I can (very small enclosed park, I can see them wherever they are). They are over every 2 minutes. Constant shouting to get them up on the see saw that’s over a metre off the ground. No, there are about 7 other things they can manage on their own. Ask if they want to leave then. No, they want to stay. I send them over to the hill to roll down. They go over and just stare. It’s like they have no bloody concept of independent play and using their imagination.

The days out they have with their parents are paid activity places (soft play, theme parks, constant buying the tat around attractions) but my approach is letting kids use their imaginations outdoors.

Of course I play with them and have done since 8am this morning but AIBU to wonder what happened to kids being able to have fun just running around the park?! Argh I just want 20 minutes peace! Can anyone relate? 😂

@Imissthe00s I think some mumsnetters believe that modern nannies should still be like the old Edwardian nannies who had to be with their charges 24 hours a day - sleeping and eating in the same room, darning their clothes while singing them to sleep. God forbid they want just a few minutes to themselves 😂
(Have you tried jumping into a chalk drawing while at the park - make a nice change of scenery 🤣)

It’s actually funny because a few months ago I made a thread about wishing I had a break and I was told I was outrageous to suggest it. That I had to fit my breaks in around being with the children and that’s what a nanny does. To set them up doing something and use that time they’re being independent to take a breather.

So I thought fair enough and that’s what I do but then some of you want me to now not even have that and work for 10 hours straight with no break.

But that’s Mumsnet for you

YANBU, make sure you stipulate certain breaks if your employer is WFH in your next contract, ridiculous that people think you are a robot and don't need 20 mins to yourself for a bit.

How old are the kids?

4 & 7

I think this thread just illustrated the contempt that people hold childcare workers in when they're doing one of the most important jobs and looking after what should be our most precious people. Apparently it's fine for mums to moan and have breaks but not a childcare worker? And someone implied it's different as you clock off at the end of the day, but some childcare workers will be clocking off and going back to their own children (or elderly or disabled relatives) to care for until they come back in to work the next morning.

It's not a race to the bottom.

Hope you have a better night's sleep tonight OP. I've never had a nanny but I've met some that seemed fab at playgroups with my own kids and both my children use or have used nursery care.

Honestly this. The idea that I get to go home. After I’ve spent every minute those children are awake with them and put them to bed. Their parents work bloody hard but they at most spend actual time with them 30/45 mins before bed time. I feed them every meal, get them ready, get them unready, bathed, take them to their activities. I see those kids more than I see my partner. I know things and habits they have during the day that even their parents don’t. I work hard too. They even FaceTime me when they go on holiday. Thankfully I know their parents appreciate me but I feel sad for the nannies who put so much into helping raise someone else’s children for some parents to think they just keep their kids occupied while they work.

YANBU. It's healthy for children to go and play by themselves or with other children and is actually detrimental if everything they do is structured and adult led.

You also need some more relaxed time in the day when supervision is lighter but still age appropriate.

Are they siblings? My ds's wouldn't play together or alone at the park either, but if they have a friend they'd play for hours without adults. Have you tried arranging play dates? At this age softplay was my go-to, I had a coffee and a chat with a friend while the kids run of steam and were tired out and ready for a bit of screen time in the afternoon.

Totally understand as I'm a nanny too, but nannies aren't entitled to breaks by law like other professions (as far as I know) So you only get breaks when kids are at school/nursery or taking naps if they're little, that's just the way it is, I accepted that a long time ago. Luckily my bosses are very good and want me to feel relaxed, mum boss even told me to watch telly if I want to, she obviously doesn't know how mind numbing daytime telly is 😆 So the school holidays are pretty manic, but term time is completely different, not much being badgered, climbed on etc, that's just the way it is, swings and roundabouts and all that.

As someone who has done a mother’s help role in the past (halfway between an au pair and a nanny) I think the problem is not the job but the family! As in, you should have a scheduled break every day and lunch like I did, set days off work (at least 1-2 guaranteed days to recover) and your family should have told you their expectations at the beginning when you signed the contract and agreed to the arrangement. There are many families who will take the piss and work the nanny into the ground with ambiguous or no time off and there are a few good families who are great with boundaries and clear about scheduled time off work (it is an exhausting job!!) I got my job through an au pair/nanny agency, I’d recommend going through an agency for future work. They screen the families (and the nannies) making it less likely that the family will take advantage of you.

Yanbu

Kids should be able to independently play for 20 min. Whether you're paid to watch them or not.. If i was paying someone id have no issue in them wanting 20 min breather.

One of my dsc never has independent play with their dm. Everything is theme parks. Soft play etc etc.
When they got to pre teen they said ' the most fun we have is here (ours) as we get to climb trees, puddle jump in the woods etc it beats queueing in a theme park for hours'

We taught them independent play.

Honestly this thread was never that deep but somehow people jumped at me because I’m a nanny and not the parent. Do I think if I hadn’t said I was their childcare people would’ve responded differently? Yes.

It wasn’t about breaks etc. It was about wanting kids to stop pestering me and climbing on me for 20 minutes when it’s 27 degrees and I’m tired. That’s all 😂

Totally but that is your job 😂 with other people’s kids 🤷‍♀️ Hence the need for breaks and time off, in an ideal world the kids would entertain themselves for 20 minutes while you rest but that isn’t the reality is it! Especially at 4 and 7 years old.. The kids that end up with nannies are also usually not trained to entertain themselves for periods of time, as there’s always a nanny/tutor/housekeeper doing it for them. It’s the reality of the job.

in an ideal world the kids would entertain themselves for 20 minutes while you rest but that isn’t the reality is it! Especially at 4 and 7 years old..

Ive worked with young children for a decade and have a 6 year old at home. 99% of those children can actually entertain themselves for short times. And that is based of caring for 100s of children.

I know where you are coming from. My kids don't leave me alone, ever 😂. I take them to soft play or park or something and one or both of them is over every two seconds for something. They are funny .

@HarrietJet
You work with them for a full day, then you go home. I'm baffled that you're trying to compare the two

You think a full 10 hour day shouldn't include breaks for lunch? Obviously not breaks like other jobs but beaks like sitting the dc in front of the tribe or expecting them to play away from you for 20 mins. Next thing you'll be saying toilet breaks are unreasonable too. No job is 10 hours with no breaks for personal needs. If you think this then please don't ever hire a nanny. You would be a terrible employer.

I was actually responding to "You clearly don't have children".

I do have children. I don't have a nanny. And I certainly don't think the nanny shouldn't have breaks, but she needs to take that up with her employer, not just hope the kids will "leave her alone" when she's out with them in a public place.

I wasn't saying you weren't entitled to breaks - but having that break in a public park is not the time!
You are paid to look after the children. The time to encourage independent play is in a safe environment like home.
You can eat when the children eat.
Surely they have downtime built into their day?TV etc - that is when you can step aside.
Set up things for them to do eg craft, painting, puzzles, Lego - then step aside.
As a full-time SAHM that is how I got my breaks.

I would also not be happy if I knew you were turning up having had 3 hrs sleep. That is not a reason to be cross with the children for wanting attention.

Is it really up to employers to dictate how much sleep employees have?
Loads of parents are going to work on a few hours sleep or broken sleep.

Op is looking after children, hoping they'll entertain themselves because she's feeling knackered. That's not really what you'd want in a childcare setting?

Maybe don’t go to work on 3 hours’ sleep?

I didn’t choose to have 3 hours sleep Jesus Christ haha!

also without specifying one of their parents works in a role that puts them in the surgeries of children with heart conditions. So funnily enough, I persevere through tiredness so that paren doesn’t have to call out of work and delay a child’s bloody heart surgery.

PP was right. I was only expressing a lighthearted want for some peace and people turn it into an attack on my ability to do my job

MN is absolutely awful sometimes

It is absolutely fine to moan about your job, partner, children, parents etc etc sometimes. It does not mean you shouldn’t be in the job / don’t love them / aren’t grateful for them.

It does mean that you’re human, and that for most people, there is a bit of your job which is worse than the other bits. For OP, it’s not getting a proper break. Yes she chose it, no she doesn’t want to swap it, yes it’s ok to moan about it sometimes.

It doesn’t matter what you wrote OP. You could say you have 8 children at home and spend any free time volunteering and actually, you do this job for free and you don’t even have a drink during the day to ensure you don’t take toilet breaks and you’d still be criticised