Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New neighbours - what will they think?

49 replies

PickledFox · 03/09/2023 19:49

I have new neighbours.

I was married, had a child then divorced. Have subsequently had another child with someone else and that all went wrong and we are no longer together. So single mum, two kids with two different dads.

The new people next door are a lovely, very friendly young Muslim couple.

Obviously very different views on marriage, kids etc. What will they think of my situation? The lady was trying to get info about my family set-up from me earlier, I just changed the subject.

I have done enough self-judgement (something I’m still working on) which is I suppose why I'm so bothered.

What will they think of me?

OP posts:
SophieHope7 · 03/09/2023 19:51

The only thing that really matters is who you are now. If she doesn't like you, then don't sweat it. Sounds like you've had enough of a tough time without having to worry about the judgement of others

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 03/09/2023 19:53

What do you mean "trying to get info about my family set-up"

The new neighbours are hopefully decent, friendly people who don't judge.

skippy67 · 03/09/2023 19:53

Why do you think they'll think anything? Weird post.

AngryLegend · 03/09/2023 19:53

Just because they are Muslim doesn't automatically make them judgemental
arse holes for fuck sake.

Oysterbabe · 03/09/2023 19:54

The Muslim people I know wouldn't give a shit.

ladeluge · 03/09/2023 19:57

"Im divorced and now a single mum. And you? Lovely....great to meet you"

Why is it anyone's business anyway? Get on with your life and remember this person is a neighbour not your friend.

thistimelastweek · 03/09/2023 19:57

Sounds like you are judging yourself through an imagined eye.

Please don't assume/imagine anything about your new neighbours.

Anniegetyourgun · 03/09/2023 19:58

Sounds like an attempt to break the ice by asking about family - in some cultures (and I include parts of the UK in that) it's a pretty usual way to get to know somebody. Also possible that she's a nosy cow, of course! But that wouldn't be my first assumption. Anyway, there's no law that you have to share this information just because someone asks.

SausageinaBun · 03/09/2023 19:58

Where do you think they've been until now, that you think they'd find your family shocking? Doesn't everyone know that families come in lots of different permutations?

guiltyfeethavegotnorythym · 03/09/2023 20:00

You must have plenty time on your hands to think about something like this . Kids are back at school there must be something that needs to be done .

Thepeopleversuswork · 03/09/2023 20:00

I mean this kindly but you are going to have to grow a much thicker hide about this.

Single mums are judged by everyone. You can’t afford to think about this. What they think of you is their concern and you can’t change it, and you shouldn’t let it impact your life.

Also of all the people to worry about why do you care what your next door neighbours think?

Gymmum82 · 03/09/2023 20:01

Ha my friend is Muslim. She has kids by 2 different dads. I doubt they care tbh

topnoddy · 03/09/2023 20:03

Honestly does it really matter what they think ?

vodkaredbullgirl · 03/09/2023 20:03

Doubt they care.

CatsOnTheChair · 03/09/2023 20:05

Well, they either have no issue with your kids, and you get on well.
Or then have an issue with it, and they have minimal interaction with you.

Which way they go will let you know if you want to be friends with then or not.

Original poster
PickledFox · 03/09/2023 20:05

She was asking about my “partner” 🤷🏻‍♀️

Agree, it doesn’t make them judgemental arseholes. Of course, divorce is acceptable in Islam.

OP posts:
Original poster
PickledFox · 03/09/2023 20:07

Oysterbabe · 03/09/2023 19:54

The Muslim people I know wouldn't give a shit.

Thank you, that’s what I wanted to hear.

OP posts:
Thintelligencerising · 03/09/2023 20:07

Just say "i dont have one, I'm divorced"? Sounds like you judge yourself. Wouldn't occur to me to judge you or that anyone else would. 💐

Original poster
PickledFox · 03/09/2023 20:07

Gymmum82 · 03/09/2023 20:01

Ha my friend is Muslim. She has kids by 2 different dads. I doubt they care tbh

And this

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 03/09/2023 20:07

I doubt they would care very much. Our new neighbours in my last house (jehovas witnesses) were probably not thrilled to move next door to a coven of witches (my house). They must have had a street party when we left.

ActDottie · 03/09/2023 20:11

AngryLegend · 03/09/2023 19:53

Just because they are Muslim doesn't automatically make them judgemental
arse holes for fuck sake.

This!

WeeOrcadian · 03/09/2023 20:23

It sounds more like you're judging yourself, than they're judging you

I think it's called 'projecting'

lunar1 · 03/09/2023 20:25

I think the only people being judged so far are your new neighbours.

jallopeno · 03/09/2023 20:27

PickledFox · 03/09/2023 20:05

She was asking about my “partner” 🤷🏻‍♀️

Agree, it doesn’t make them judgemental arseholes. Of course, divorce is acceptable in Islam.

That's a perfectly normal question for her to have asked.

It sounds like you're assuming you'll be judged. Are you judging yourself?

jallopeno · 03/09/2023 20:28

What will they think of my situation? you'd have to ask them!

Swipe left for the next trending thread