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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider suing nursery

273 replies

atatotalloss4 · 02/09/2023 22:17

I have a beautiful little girl, she is 2 years old and has been in nursery for 8 months. She's come on ever so well and people often comment how well she speaks and lovely manners, I give much of the credit of this to the nursery.

However, there was an incident last week that has left her on antibiotics with a large open sore on her inner thigh. I won't post pictures because they are frankly upsetting but I'll detail how it happened.

8-9 children with 3 (youngest members of staff) went to a park for a picnic, about a 10 minute walk from the nursery. My child had a full well nappy upon arrival, the didn't change her. She then soiled her nappy which leaked considerably, onto her back and thighs. They didn't want to end the trip early for the other children so kept my child in this state for around an hour. Then made her walk back to nursery. This caused the full nappy to fall down and rub her thigh, resulting in this horrible sore. It's about the size of my palm and the GP was aghast at how bad it is. She has been unable to sleep because she can't get comfy, the antibiotics are causing her an upset tummy and she is utterly reluctant to walk resulting in a sort of waddle then she asks to be carried.

The leggings she was in were sent home and they are in an awful state, you can also see how bad they are on picture they uploaded to the nursery app whilst out.

I wasn't contacted about this, nor told at pick up, I found out when I changed her at home and saw the state she was in.

Apparently the staff involved have been given a formal warning and it seems that's that.

Would I be ridiculous to chase this up legally? I'm heartbroken my tiny innocent child was treated with such contempt, it's heartbreaking hearing her cry and unable to walk.

Someone please just give me an outside perspective because im so sad for her im no longer sure if im even thinking straight about it. Thank you x

OP posts:
Mollymalone123 · 03/09/2023 04:19

I wouldn’t sue but I would report to ofsted

Rosscameasdoody · 03/09/2023 04:23

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 03/09/2023 02:55

It sounds like they have accepted responsibility and are investigating it so what will suing achieve? Focus on your daughter recovering not financial gain.

Over several posts the OP has been clear that she isn't happy that the nursery has only issued warnings to the staff involved and that she wants to ensure they report appropriately and transparently. I think this is more about safeguarding than financial gain.

Iusedtoliveinsanfrancisco · 03/09/2023 04:37

They should have a completed risk assessment for their trip, ask to see it, it should detail who was responsible for your daughter, what risks they for saw, and how they planned to address them. A child filling their nappy is not an unlikely event. This risk assessment should’ve been signed off by a member of staff responsible for safety on such off site journeys.

Blondewithredlips · 03/09/2023 04:53

Report to Ofsted and the council. I am so sorry this has happened to your poor little girl. I would be seething.

LeonoraFlorence · 03/09/2023 05:05

This is awful. Your poor baby. I understand why you feel you want to sue but I’m not sure what it would achieve? Just a lot of stress. Those staff members need retraining urgently to protect the other little ones in their care.

I remember as a young teen being in town on a sunny and very hot day with my mum. We passed a girl who lived near us, who was out with babies and toddlers from the nursery in which she worked. There was a few staff and each had a triple stroller. None of the babies had hats or any sun shade. My mum and I commented to each other that they should have hats etc. A couple of hours later, we passed them again on our way home, still out in the blazing hot sun, walking around and not keeping in shade at all. I then remember reading in local paper about that nursery and how these little ones had ended up with horrendous sunburn and parents were (rightly) up in arms. I don’t remember the outcome but it has always stuck with me.

BBno4 · 03/09/2023 05:16

Did you drop her off with a full wet nappy? Or did she arrive at the part with one?

Rosscameasdoody · 03/09/2023 05:30

BBno4 · 03/09/2023 05:16

Did you drop her off with a full wet nappy? Or did she arrive at the part with one?

Think it's pretty clear that it was on arrival at the park.

Mumuser124 · 03/09/2023 05:49

That is neglect and a formal warning does not cut it. They should be removed from post and not in charge or dependent and vulnerable children. Utterly disgusting of them!

SoSad44 · 03/09/2023 06:09

OP this is so sad. Your poor little girl. This is probably the worst neglect in a nursery have read about here. I can’t believe they didn’t even tell you on pick-up. I would also report to Ofsted and the council. Suing probably won’t achieve much to be honest. I would also be tempted to go to the local press but understand you might not want that sort of
publicity. I hope your little girl recovers well.

itsgettingweird · 03/09/2023 06:17

Ask to see their risk assessment for the offsite trip.

It should have about toileting and how they will deal with it. Did they go somewhere with access to public facilities? What were their plans for changing children if required?

I really hope your DD gets better soon

Hazydayss · 03/09/2023 06:18

I have a 2 year old little girl in nursery and reading this has broken my heart. I know you say they were junior staff but am sorry even a 5 year old would know a soiled nappy needs changing, so that's a massive red flag. These people are paid to safeguard, look after and protect our babies, yet they treated your baby with such neglect and thats totally unacceptable.
I would report to every relevant professional body/senior management and want them removed so it doesn't happy to another vulnerable child. Hope your little one is OK.

itsgettingweird · 03/09/2023 06:22

And suing often needs to have lost out financially.

You can try and make a financial claim without suing by complaining and asking for recompense for expenses you've occurred.

So refund of any fees form that day forth.
Any expenses you've occurred through missed days from work etc.

They've obviously accepted responsibility and a mistake by formally producing a disciplinary.

Ihavehadenoughalready · 03/09/2023 06:30

On Wednesday, when you have your meeting at the nursery, be sure to carefully read everything they want you to sign, and don't sign if you don't feel comfortable. I'd be afraid they'd try to get me to agree not to sue or try to otherwise minimize what happened. They might offer you a slight refund of fees in lieu of you taking more action.

I like the suggestion of a PP to record the conversation (if that is legal).

But I'm always suspicious like that.

PostOpOp · 03/09/2023 06:31

OP when you go in Wednesday can you bring someone with you? I'm imagining you will have quite a lot of feelings about going back there and talking to anybody. It could be totally fine of course (it seems the nursery is not denying it at least), but just in case, you may feel a bit more backed up to not be alone there.

ZadocPDederick · 03/09/2023 06:36

mynameiscalypso · 02/09/2023 22:29

I don't think you'd gain much by suing other than a lot of time taken up with it and stress. I would report to Ofsted though.

It's more about what her daughter would gain. She is entitled to damages for pain and suffering, and any long term effects like scarring.

Viviennemary · 03/09/2023 06:42

I don't think it sounds as if you could successfully sue them. But they should be reported to Social Services Ofsted and your Local Authority. They are not fit to be in charge of children. Absolutely dont sign anything. They're worried and so they should be.

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 03/09/2023 07:12

Start gathering evidence of the financial impact it has had on you. You have had to miss work to look after her, you now don’t have childcare so will miss work… I don’t think you can claim for too long, as even though you will (naturally) find it hard to trust another provider that might not be classed as “reasonable”.

You can definitely claim for loss of earnings, this isn’t about trying to financially gain from the situation but to not financially lose out because of their negligence.

missingeu · 03/09/2023 07:12

There are several routes to take, for cases of neglect I would contact
OFSTED.
Social Services to raise a safe guarding compliant - which I believe you do through a council website.

I'm sorry for your and daughter, as this is an incident that could have easily be prevented.

The nursery needs to be accountable as it's unacceptable.

missingeu · 03/09/2023 07:18

I just read your last post. The meeting should be not vauge and dismissive.

Please contact social services/safeguarding beforehand. I'm a nurse and use safeguarding services alot. They are usually very helpful and will advise.

The nursery involved have a duty of care to your little girl, they have been neglectful in that.

user1492757084 · 03/09/2023 07:23

How utterly painful for your little girl.
What is a good outcome ..

Your child recovers, obviously.
You receive an apology.
You are reimbursed any out of pocket costs.
The incident doesn't happen again due to changes..
1/ staff training
2/ better staff allocation of duties/management
3/ nappy change bags taken on outings
4/ prompt communication with parents about injuries

Best of luck with the new nursery and I hope the nursery involved improves due to you alerting them of your daughter's horrific outcome when left in a wet nappy.
If they make positive changes would you send your daughter back?

I hope the nursery doesn't close or decide to have no excursions..

EpiDee · 03/09/2023 07:26

As a parent of a 2 year old DD at nursery, it's hard to read this. I am so dreadfully sorry for you and your DD OP. This is absolutely horrific. I do not think a nursery whose staff are capable of this should remain open. What other essential duties might they be neglecting? Truly awful. I echo what others have said. Report to Ofstead and social services urgently. And tell as many parents as you can. I also agree that you deserve to be compensated for loss of earnings, plus any damages to your DD like possible scarring, from this hideously neglectful act. Where I live it is impossible to get a nursery place anywhere, so the financial impact of not being able to work could be huge. Really hope your DD improves quickly

Smurf123 · 03/09/2023 07:27

Your poor wee one hope she is starting to feel better soon.

Where abouts are you in Belfast? It is the early years team here for nurseries. I had my son in a very well know nursery with a few different branches in Belfast just as things started to return to normal after covid. He hated it and used to come out with bite marks no one saw happening. It's a highly recommended nursery but I would never recommend it to anyone and hindsight is a great thing.. I thought he was just finding it hard to settle which is why he didn't like it.
My dc2 is 2 years old and I send her to a completely different nursery - it is small family run owners on site at all times and she adores it. There's an incredibly low staff turnover and I genuinely have no worries sending her. It really is a completely different experience from with my ds.

Zanatdy · 03/09/2023 07:28

Your poor girl. I don’t think suing is the right course of action, as you need to be suing for something I assume, maybe a couple of days off work? Not sure how it works but I’d imagine it would be incredibly difficult. My children were part of a big group who sued a farm for kids contracting EColi. Some kids needed a transplant in future, so it was important to get that litigation going so they could reclaim too in future (loss of earnings etc). It took years, no doubt cost a fortune (we didn’t pay). My kids did get some compensation, but talking under 4k. I’d be pushing for more investigation by Ofsted etc, so it doesn’t happen to anyone else. It’s horrible it really is, but getting into some expensive litigation won’t help things

Oysterbabe · 03/09/2023 07:29

You certainly have a claim but it won't be a huge sum, if there's no scaring it will hundreds not thousands. Is it worth the hassle when it already sounds like it's being taken seriously?

mrsed1987 · 03/09/2023 07:29

You need to inform ofsted.