To think I might be neurodivergent ?

[chatenoire]

I've been thinking about it for some time, and I think I'm definitely somewhere on the spectrum. Coincidentally a GP once told me I had "OCD" traits, but I've also read people who are neurodivergent sometimes get told this.

So I took a test and this is the result!

It doesn't bother me, if anything it's a relief as it explains many things :)

@NoDoorHooks ive known some children go for assessment and not be diagnosed but they were diagnosed later with other conditions with overlapping signs.
I suppose it's a combo of screening being effective but also you don't pay ££££ or wait for years on a waiting list if there isn't a significant reason.

Depends what kind of psychologist she is and what sort of therapy you are getting.

Maybe she knows more than this silly little quiz?

Well I don't know, some of her insights are definitely wrong, which is why I'll stop seeing her (and that's objectively).

That's good. No need to take up medical appointments when the internet does a better job.

That's not very nice is it? I never said it was a definitive diagnosis thanks to that test, but that maybe gives some weight to my suspicions.

You sound like me, OP. I’ve just done the test and scored 58% possibility of being neurodivergent. I’ve always suspected I wasn’t as “normal” as everyone else - I work with psychiatrists and I overthink everything I say / how I word things / how I come across as I just think I’m “odd”. I can’t look people in the eye when I talk with them, I obsess over songs and movies / tv shows (will listen to / watch the same few for weeks on end), I have “obsessional” relationships with fictional characters, I’m a huge day dreamer and I struggle to listen to verbal commands if it doesn’t interest me. I doubt I’ll get a formal diagnosis thru proper channels but it’s nice to know that its not just me like this ☹️

Yes that's me!! When you day dream is it like augmented reality?

Yes! I have day dreamed to the extent where I wasn’t sure if something had happened as it can be very vivid! Same with my dreams at night - I have such intense dreams that even after a 10 hour full sleep I wake up exhausted because my mind has been having these really real dreams. I also catastrophise things (illnesses are always the big C, for example, rather than a minor sickness bug) and I leg / knee tremble in anxious situations. I always think everyone is silently judging me as I pretend to be “normal”. It’s horrible.

I still tend to think about the worst about my health but rationalise it. I'm sure people judge me, but I couldn't care less at this point.

Well you’re not going to be paying for a expensive assessment for a laugh are you? Would you go to the hospital for an X-ray for a broken leg if you hadn’t had an accident and your leg didn’t hurt? Same thing with paying for an assessment - You’d really only pay for it if you think you have it, therefore there is a high number of diagnoses.

Self-diagnosis is NOT diagnosis. Especially, those that self-diagnose and then claim ‘oh but it doesn’t really impact my life so I won’t pursue a proper diagnosis’, followed by a tinkly laugh. No amount of stupid online quizzes or articles will prove otherwise.

If it doesn’t really impact your life then you aren’t autistic 🙄.

I never said I wouldn't pursue a proper diagnosis, did I? I said I'll ask my GP when I see them. Quite frankly I'm tired of the "if it doesn't affect me the same way as it affects you then your experience doesn't count" brigade.

I only said that I don't have £2k to throw at it when I have other priorities in life

Part of the diagnostic criteria is that it has a significant impact on your daily life and has done since childhood. That’s the ‘experience’ I’m talking about, not that you might like sand and I don’t.

Quite frankly I’m tired of the ignorance about what a ‘spectrum’ actually is.

I haven’t been officially diagnosed but lots of tests online seem to show I’m ND. It explains a lot of my behaviours

I approached my assessment as just that 'an assessment', that's what I was paying for, not a diagnosis.
The clinical psychologist that diagnosed me, did say though, that there were plenty of private clients she assessed that didn't get a diagnosis.
She said many came in asking her to confirm what they already knew. Her answer to that, was until she had completed a thorough and detailed assessment, she couldn't confirm anything.

Again, have a think about why that would be. Would neurotypical people be likely to think they have autism/ADHD and spend thousands on an assessment to find out?

You might be surprised how many professionals in different fields that you'd think might have a clue, don't at all.

The trouble is when it's all you've known all your life, you don't necessarily realise that your experience is different. Especially as a child. I have formally diagnosed children. My husband is autistic. I know I'd get a diagnosis if I went for one, I know exactly why I'd get it. I just have no need to myself. I refuse to pay if there is going to be no benefit from it. I can self-diagnose here.

This is likely the case. Psychologists specialise in different areas so it’s not likely one specialist in trauma or depression or psychosis is also going to be a specialist in autism.

Exactly! Especially as women. Now, at almost 40 I can see that the bullying I suffered was caused by my quirky behaviour

Yeah I think it's entirely possible that you've worked so hard to compensate/mask your whole life, and you don't realise that it's not the same for everyone, that you could be neurodiverse and not realise it until something changes in your life and the wheels come off (hello Menopause).

Especially as a few years back it wasn't widely recognised and discussed as it is now.

Diagnosis doesn’t automatically bring any support, this would need to be a seperate fight and if op is functioning in society it’s very unlikely she is going to be entitled to anything.

Depends really, I’ve had excellent support from my GP and some great Access to Work funded coaching. My gas, electric, water companies have been understand when I’ve needed help, as has the bank and credit card companies. Also citizens advice have been fab putting me in contact with local art therapy etc.

The only thing I would appreciate is finding therapy with more experienced people.