AIBU? Is anyone else feeling like they’re wasting weekends?

[vixnix]

AIBU or does anyone else feel like life is just passing them by at the weekend? Context - WFH, 2 young kids but at school, pretty skint. Cannot bear to go the local park anymore. DH loves to sit around or get stuck into doing up the house meaning I have to do something with the kids alone. That or more bloody shopping! Which we cant afford to do and kids and I cant stand.

After doing the food shop this morning, I’ve done sweet FA. Life used to be about going out and doing things. Youngest child hates walking for longer than 10 mins. Apparently will run around for hours at a play area though 😅.
DCs do some clubs during the week so they’re taken care of in that department. I like to go out, explore new places, walk in nature, visit friends, but friends are either working or have their own plans.

So, is this just how it is? Or am I being unreasonable and should have a structured plan for each weekend so that on Sunday night I feel like it has been time well spent? Looking for genuine inspiration! TIA

Can you afford or ask for NT or similar membership for Christmas gifts? Go to the library, museum or swimming.

free museums, family fun days, library activities etc. search on fb for events nearby. Doesn’t have to cost a bomb.
we have 3 weekends over the next 6 weeks booked to do an activity(cadbury/zoo/ a castle) because I took advantage of some free vouchers I found online.
I usually manage to find something at least once a month by researching in advance.

Perhaps put aside one day for chilling and the other for a day out, doesn’t have to be expensive, especially with NT and picnics

I hear what you are saying, and this thread has inspired me to stop procrastinating and get off MN

We did things as a family when DC were young. No way would I let him off under the guise of DIY. Or if he must, you have a day pottering in the garden and leave him on child entertainment duties.
I refused to be the one always left with the DC, particularly as I did it most of Mon - Fri as well.

Well yes that is a waste of a weekend. Just make a plan that saturdays are for big walks or trips to woods...Nt placea...the beach. Pack car night before and just tell your dh he is coming. Or go without him!

I always found it helpful to find like minded friends with kids as children always moan less with company

Look up places you all like going to in terms of yearly membership cost, and pick one, some places give you a yearly pass for the price of one entry if you gift aid. Make plans with friends in advance. Surely the local park is better than staying in all day? Make it fun by taking a ball? You could also have a regular Saturday games night as a family. I'd also factor in child free time where you get to go and do something for you for a few hours (which could be a walk you enjoy), make sure you get the same amount of time as DH rather than childcare defaulting to you all the time. I've been thinking about geocaching as a way of motivating child walkers.

We went to the cinema today only because the tickets were £3 each as it was national cinema day. Usually we go to the museums, or NT property or the coast. We pack a picnic and a flask and buy ice creams from the local supermarket so it can be a cheap day out.

Ask family for National trust, English heritage or Kew family membership for Christmas instead of plastic tat.

I love a lazy weekend at home doing nothing and would never consider it a waste of time. We have friends who drag their DC out every weekend and to me that's the definition of enforced fun. Everyone needs downtime to relax, especially with school starting again this week, and letting kids learn how to cope with boredom is a good life skill too. When our DC was little I'd get a roll of cheap plain wallpaper from Wilko (RIP) and lay it out on the floor for them to draw murals on. Or gather up every pair of socks in the house and play sock darts on huge chalk board we'd draw on the kitchen floor. You don't need money/screens/endless outings to keep kids amused.

Free heritage open days in Sept

Free London open house festival

I went to the shop for bread, did the housework and went to the gym. I used to have a life, but don't have the disposable income these days. Birthday money will go on MOT and service so can't even use that for anything.

Other people seem to do so much more.

My husband took our eldest fishing and I took the other two to the park. Also looking for inspiration as I feel weekends often get lost in grandparent visits, food shops and cleaning and youngest's naps.

I feel the same. Also, I live in London but am much more of an outdoorsy kind of person - so just seem to spend every weekend in Richmond park or Wimbledon common and the kids have had enough, especially now they are getting older.
I think like minded friends are the way to go. Then every outing is much more fun for both the children (think massive games of hide and seek) and the parents!
Unfortunately you can t magic these out of a hat….

I am one of those people who is non stop on the go. It drives my husband mad who would rather spend more time at home. Weekends are either seeing friends, or out somewhere. We have young kids that are excited by any outing so forest walks, seaside, country parks, visits to castles or other interesting spots. If it's raining it will be swimming or badminton or some indoor bouncing place maybe. I have a huge list saved on my phone of all the places I want to go to within an hours drive of where we live (we moved here 9 months ago). I am trying to make more friends in our new area so we are not always driving around.
I will say though that it's a blessing and a curse, I think it's almost a problem that makes me this way, the thought of a day at home makes me really anxious, so it doesn't necessarily come from a 'fun loving' place but a place of agitation. I also need to socialise or I get depressed.

I put aside time every couple of months to trawl websites and Facebook events to see what is happening locally. If you want a result then you need to put in a bit of effort. Also I try and find stuff that matches dc interests.

Having said that, we do need down time, and some people need more than others. It's a balancing act really.

I'd also recommend booking friends in the diary in advance. You say friends already have plans, well you need to make yourself their plan.
Today I saw a family we haven't seen in 9 months. We arranged it back in June and at the time this was their first free weekend. Had we not planned it we would never see them.
Im not a big fan of planning things months in advance but it's sometimes it's the only way.

Yes I hear you! Next door are having a party and I have fomo. My weekend consists of several loads of laundry and stopping the kids killing each other.
I love socialising..but even if we do we have to keep one day as a chill day as hubby needs it . Where as I tend to want to want to go out all the time!

This is the prime season for family fun days. We went to a small local agricultural show today. £4 entry for adults, free for kids. Absolutely loads of displays and things to see. Obviously loads of food stalls but IME DD preferred a picnic when younger anyway.

Ive already found another one for next Sat.

I have friends who schedule loads for every weekend and I’d hate that but I also hate not doing anything!
We have a chat in advance about what we want to do that weekend in case one of us wants a specific amount of time in. We have built up a good selection of full days, mornings/afternoons out and tend to suggest one of those.
Few ideas: breakfast then long walk (do breakfast as it is cheaper than lunch out usually), visit a park or new park and get an ice cream or take food with us, go out on bikes/scooters to somewhere new, go swimming, go to the library then a cafe for a cake etc. Probably not that exciting but we enjoy it! We then have screen time at home but limit it so my children play, draw, bake or play in the garden.

It’s YOUR weekend. Do what YOU want to do with it. Unless you have commitments like work or caring.

It’s my personal hell to be constantly out at activities surrounded by other people so I spend most of my weekends at home. It’s what I want to do and it makes me very happy. Heck I need time to recharge and relax. As an introvert constantly going out does my head in. Other people need to be out every weekend doing something. If they’re happy that’s great.

The point is do what suits you. As long as you’ve done that then you haven’t wasted the weekend.

I feel this way too but some weekends I have too many chores that I have to prioritise. I'm single and work full time so my weekends are vital for laundry, cleaning and life admin plus catching up on work emails etc.

I occasionally do a morning in the park or an afternoon out with DD but definitely not every weekend. I just would fall behind and wouldn't feel organised enough to start the week properly.

Those people who are out all the time - when do they do their laundry, cleaning, yard work etc?

Have you heard of geocaching? It’s free and fun, like a real life treasure hunt.

I would feel frustrated with that sort of weekend. We have always had busy weekends since we had dc, and we always spend it as a family rather than doing solo stuff. With work schedules it's the only time we can go out and do certain trips out or explore places together, so we've just made sure we plan activities so we have something to look forward to. We're in London so we have loads of options and keep it varied, never going back to the same place more than a few times a year. We do museum visits, theatre shows, concerts, try out sports, visit different soft plays and playgrounds, zoo, farms, tourist attractions, different swimming pools, festivals, art shows, family discos, seaside trips, funfairs, just whatever is listed locally and sounds interesting.

I only work a few hours so take care of all the shopping, chores and life admin during the week so we can make sure weekends are focused on the dc and family time.

Yep, I constantly 'waste' my weekends. But after being at work all week surrounded by people I desperately need the space to chill.

My other half (who doesn't work) seems to feel he can do wtf he likes at the weekend and leave all the parenting to me. Unfortunately most the washing, housework etc is also left for me to do at the weekend...

Can you drive?

I note you said funds are low, so National Trust membership might be out (gives good access to gardens and parks for running around, plus garden games and the historic houses), but if you like a nature walk I’d just pick a different country park, beach or short walk with a pub stop for ice cream or a soft drink each week.

Lots of areas have people who put family friendly walks and OS routes on Facebook or local websites. These activities are usually free too.

We like to do outings and see family on weekends, but DS also does ballet and football on Saturday morning (good for rainy days) and we go to church on Sunday morning. I LOATHE staying in all day as it feels like time wasted unless your DC are very good at reading, or doing something constructive.

We all need chill out time, but I get cabin fever when I’m cooped up.

Maybe look on local forums to see what other families recommend near to you?