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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for judging friend's parenting

72 replies

whatjusthappenedd · 02/09/2023 07:53

I ran into an old friend a few days ago. She was sat with her baby sharing a slushie and plain pancake from a dessert place. Baby is 9/10 months old based on the month she told me she gave birth. The baby kept drinking from the straw and wanting more. Now... I really don't want to be judgemental of other mums' parenting decisions, but I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Bear in mind these franchised dessert places' products are usually filled with not only sugar but tons of other crap. AIBU? Is this normal?!

OP posts:
Frozenone · 02/09/2023 08:22

A plain pancake is fine, a slushie is absolute garbage at the best of times and I certainly wouldn’t be regarding that as something a baby could have a taste of. As pp said, the baby’s next nappy might show her it wasn’t such a great idea.

I saw a woman tipping a full can of Coke into a baby’s bottle and giving it to her baby, who looked about 10-12 months old. Baby guzzles away happily in her (I assume) DGM arms. Two adults thought that was a normal drink and suitable for a baby so who am I to judge eh!

2023MNU · 02/09/2023 08:39

Not going to lie. You are NOT being unreasonable for judging when baby is so tiny. It’s very, very easy to ensure a healthy diet for babies, there’s endless choices that aren’t filled with sugar. With that said - I’d have made that judgement internally and simultaneously trusted their ability to take care of their baby. In the grand scheme of things, theres way more important aspects of being parenting.

livinglifetothefull · 02/09/2023 08:47

If i judged every parent i saw I'd be here all day .
plus i look at my self first .
Not my child not my prob .

Flipflopflopflip · 02/09/2023 08:52

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 02/09/2023 07:59

An ex boyfriends sister used to give her two year old a full bottle of coke with a full sized bag of haribo and wonder why her was so hyper 🤔

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Wow, genuinely wonder if she thought they were good choices or if she just didn't care?!

Cowlover89 · 02/09/2023 08:53

I wouldn't judge. Not my business

SlippySarah · 02/09/2023 08:54

Time to get a hobby OP.

dearanon · 02/09/2023 08:58

She's not your friend if you're slating her online for her parenting choices for her baby.

clpsmum · 02/09/2023 08:59

MrTiddlesTheCat · 02/09/2023 07:57

Now... I really don't want to be judgemental of other mums' parenting decisions ...

And yet here you are choosing to do just that.

This

Parker231 · 02/09/2023 09:03

Why are you bothered?

I’m not - over the years mine have had worse - as have most children!

SecretVictoria · 02/09/2023 09:03

DinnaeFashYersel · 02/09/2023 08:19

Whilst speed dialling social services.

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And 101.

Endofholidayblues · 02/09/2023 09:04

YANBU but I doubt the mum realises how bad slushies are.

Read “Ultra Processed People”, that totally opened my eyes to all the utter crap we are putting in our bodies and why we can’t help it!

RedHelenB · 02/09/2023 09:06

whatjusthappenedd · 02/09/2023 07:53

I ran into an old friend a few days ago. She was sat with her baby sharing a slushie and plain pancake from a dessert place. Baby is 9/10 months old based on the month she told me she gave birth. The baby kept drinking from the straw and wanting more. Now... I really don't want to be judgemental of other mums' parenting decisions, but I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Bear in mind these franchised dessert places' products are usually filled with not only sugar but tons of other crap. AIBU? Is this normal?!

Letting baby taste all sorts of food is normal yes. Horrors, mine had a taste of ice cream at 4 months and have survived to adulthood.

MrFlibblesEyes · 02/09/2023 09:06

This is just a snapshot of their day! I doubt she feeds the baby like this all the time. You said they were sharing it so realistically it's probably the mothers (rather unhealthy) meal which she has let the baby have a taste of. Yes it's not ideal but a few sips of slushy isn't likely to cause lifelong problems....

Mydustymonstera · 02/09/2023 09:07

That poor kid! That’s a huge problem. Didn’t you ask her about it?

Lorelaigilmore88 · 02/09/2023 09:08

whatjusthappenedd · 02/09/2023 07:53

I ran into an old friend a few days ago. She was sat with her baby sharing a slushie and plain pancake from a dessert place. Baby is 9/10 months old based on the month she told me she gave birth. The baby kept drinking from the straw and wanting more. Now... I really don't want to be judgemental of other mums' parenting decisions, but I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Bear in mind these franchised dessert places' products are usually filled with not only sugar but tons of other crap. AIBU? Is this normal?!

I mean its obviously not great to give all that sugar to such a small child but really you don't know anything about the context. Baby could otherwise eat all organic, home made balanced meals and this was a one off :) Maybe she'd had a bad night and took about out for a treat she knew would temporarily keep them quiet, you don't know. I wouldn't be too judgemental based on one thing you've seen...

2023MNU · 02/09/2023 09:10

Some of y’all are wildly counter-judgemental. To me it doesn’t seem like OP is aware feeding sugars to babies isn’t long term detrimental. Crazy we live in a society where we can’t agree that giving slushies to tiny babies isn’t normal though.

Dolores87 · 02/09/2023 09:10

You are being unreasonable. As long as baby has a balanced diet then this really not the end of the world.

VisionsOfSplendour · 02/09/2023 09:14

SlippySarah · 02/09/2023 08:54

Time to get a hobby OP.

Do you find it time consuming or difficult to have a judgemental thought? Why would it be necessary to have a hobby?

It's like a different world on here, I'm pretty sure everyone I know would be internally judging the parenting of someone who gives a very young child a slushie and they have plenty of hobbies

WonderingWanda · 02/09/2023 09:14

I think most sensible parents who observe another parent doing something that seems to go against all guidelines would think to themselves 'bloody hell, why is she giving that baby a slushie /can of coke/bag of haribo etc' which I guess is judgement. I'm impressed at all the posters who are able to avoid having thoughts like that, clearly I am far too opinionated. Having a 'judgemental' thought along the lines of 'oh, I wouldn't do that' is very different to making a comment to another Mum about her parenting though which I wouldn't do unless I was concerned about a serious safeguarding issue.

You can think what you like about other people's parenting. I guess it's only an issue when it starts to impact your own dc though.

VisionsOfSplendour · 02/09/2023 09:16

Lorelaigilmore88 · 02/09/2023 09:08

I mean its obviously not great to give all that sugar to such a small child but really you don't know anything about the context. Baby could otherwise eat all organic, home made balanced meals and this was a one off :) Maybe she'd had a bad night and took about out for a treat she knew would temporarily keep them quiet, you don't know. I wouldn't be too judgemental based on one thing you've seen...

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I find it rather hard to believe that anyone who cares enough about baby nutrition that they make organic home cooked meals all the time would one day think, oh to hell with it the baby can have a slushie 😂

floribunda18 · 02/09/2023 09:17

DD1 shared pieces of our crepes when she was about that age and we were on holiday in Brittany.

Oysterbabe · 02/09/2023 09:18

It's not what I'd do, but it's hardly crack. I think you need to wind your neck in.

NerrSnerr · 02/09/2023 09:19

Of course it's not great but if you spend a lot of time with other people's children there are a million things that you'll see that you don't approve of. The other parents will be looking at things you do and thinking they're bad too.

Unless you think the child is in serious danger (for example they don't have milk now and slushies and pancakes are all they eat) it's easier to let it go.

Ilinaya · 02/09/2023 09:22

Yes you are being judgemental, it's really not a big deal, and letting your baby have a bit of what you're having is very normal as they are curious and it doesn't do any harm. If she was feeding her slushies for breakfast every day then that might be a bad thing. I let my baby try my coffee, so if you had walked past you'd have seen a baby drinking a mocha and probably fallen off your high horse in shock.

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