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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - experience in a tesco store

143 replies

unknown7 · 02/09/2023 00:00

Don't know if I'm overreacting or not, probably am but it happened last night and I have history of some abuse. I was in a tesco stored at around 8pm, I wanted to ask about an item so approached two customer service people at the checkout area, one was male and one female. I approached them both but due to how they were standing I was closer to the male so showed him my phone. He gave me this aggressive blank stare and shrugged but kept staring right at me, he made me feel really uncomfortable and just didn't say anything. A really cold stare. The female noticed I was a little uncomfortable so quickly came across to help me but would you complain to tesco about this? Am I being ridiculous. He just made me feel so uneasy.

OP posts:
JaneIntheBox · 02/09/2023 11:36

This is one of those things that nobody can judge unless they were there OP. Maybe it really was. an aggressive stare. Maybe it was just you. We don't know.
Anyway it's a small thing and I wouldn't think too much about it or complain. Maybe your history of abuse makes you more sensitive to things like this, I don't know. But I'd just shrug it off.

As a former service worker (hospitality) I tend not to report 'rude' etc staff unless it's happened repeatedly or they've done something really bad/messed up. You never know when someone could be having a bad day and it's really hard to smile, be preppy for the entire shift although you want to go home, lie down and cry. Not saying that bad behaviour should be excused but.... give people a break.....

Needmorelego · 02/09/2023 11:37

@Tessisme they could have been doing one of the dozens of roles retail staff do. Unfortunately they all have matching uniforms and no information on their name tags as to whether they are till staff, stockroom, shelf filler, clothes department, from the cash office upstairs, trolley collector......
But that's the way supermarkets do it.

Original poster
unknown7 · 02/09/2023 23:51

I did report it as my gut feeling was to do so. I did feel intimidated.

Thanks to those who said I'm not being unreasonable and to those who keep saying I shoved my phone in his face I didn't. I said 'can I ask about this product' thats when he looked aggressive, i then went on to say 'its stating its in stock but I've checked and x version is there but this one isn't' he continued to aggressively and coldly stare at me. Not saying a word.

Tesco have responded saying its not how they expect any member of staff to act. They've asked me for more details in terms of a description and will pass it on to the store.

I think he was more a dick with an ego than racist tbh. Either way, I'd hate for any other females who may be a little more vulnerable than me to be made to feel that way, usually there is only one member of staff at self checkouts at that time and if it was him alone and that woman was not there, I'd have felt more uneasy. I did feel like saying something at the time like 'maybe work on your customer service' which is something somebody like me would have done.. but the look he gave absolutely shook me.

OP posts:
Original poster
unknown7 · 02/09/2023 23:52

Those saying it subjective, the 'cold' stare. He was chatting away with the woman before I approached. And also, the woman with him, I felt, could tell it was a weird situation from the way she jumped in to help. She glanced back and forth between me and him before doing so.

OP posts:
JaneIntheBox · 02/09/2023 23:57

I'm not sure what you want from this thread OP. You already reported it before starting the thread and are clearly convinced that you're not being U despite what anybody else says, so what's the purpose of asking on here again?
Just to be clear I don't think you are U, or otherwise. Things like these are difficult to describe unless one was there.

You have reported, they have acknowledged, end of. What anybody on here thinks can't be of any use to you.

Original poster
unknown7 · 03/09/2023 00:01

@JaneIntheBox I reported after I started the thread. Not before. Some of the replies made me more sure about reporting it, so thats what I wanted from the thread lol other opinions, thats what anyone wants from these threads. And then I posted just now to update the thread..

OP posts:
JaneIntheBox · 03/09/2023 00:05

unknown7 · 03/09/2023 00:01

@JaneIntheBox I reported after I started the thread. Not before. Some of the replies made me more sure about reporting it, so thats what I wanted from the thread lol other opinions, thats what anyone wants from these threads. And then I posted just now to update the thread..

Well you said you reported it based on your 'gut feel'. Not that this thread had anything to do with it.
Anyway hopefully you have a better experience the next time you go to the shops

fairymary87 · 03/09/2023 00:09

Complain!!!

Georgeandzippyzoo · 03/09/2023 00:09

I'm not in customer services but all the pp saying you were being unreasonable, what the hell did you mean etc....are being aholes.

If you said to me ' can I ask you about this product?'And then showed me a pic, I would look at it and then say 'yes how can I help you'. That is not an unexpected conversation to have in customer services, the female member of staff knew you weren't being served properly so stepped in.

I'm not saying it went further than that but you could let the store knoifyou have concerns.

Mumof2teens79 · 03/09/2023 00:36

When I first read the OP I assumed it was staff at a customer service desk, but reading the additional info I realise it was just people at the self checkout....so yes they work in a customer facing service role but not exactly highly trained.

It's really not normal or expected for anyone to ask those staff about items in stock. He would have no idea about whether an item was instock

So basically OP is complaining because a member of staff made eyecontact while contemplating a completely unexpected question about something that he doesn’t do....not sure how you stare aggressively to be honest.

CrappyJob · 03/09/2023 00:44

There's actually not very much someone stationed at self-checkouts can do to assist - they aren't allowed to leave the section. Unless they happen to have the company app on their phone (not everyone does), they wouldn't be able to help. And even if they did have the app, it's not always accurate.

The woman that came to offer help might have been in the checkout support role - they have much more freedom to go and look for things.

SpringViolet · 03/09/2023 01:32

I would have have gone to the customer service desk to ask about stocked items rather than ask a staff member on the shop floor tbh.

I also would have said ‘excuse me’ before starting a conversation when approaching someone already in conversation. Very rude not to, retail staff or not.

Manners work both ways.

Hope you attached a sketch of the man in your complaint with heavy detailing of the ‘aggressive’ stare OP? There may be several staff members fitting the description. Imagine them all being called in for a disciplinary having no clue what management are on about!

Did he not have a name badge on?

Thebeachut · 03/09/2023 02:27

CrappyJob · 03/09/2023 00:44

There's actually not very much someone stationed at self-checkouts can do to assist - they aren't allowed to leave the section. Unless they happen to have the company app on their phone (not everyone does), they wouldn't be able to help. And even if they did have the app, it's not always accurate.

The woman that came to offer help might have been in the checkout support role - they have much more freedom to go and look for things.

I have the app and work on self service
I get questioned all the time and have no idea about shop floor and stock.
I don't get signal to use the bloody app in the store and there isn't any WiFi. I also can't leave the area.
His response could of been to signpost to someone who could help though

BeMoreBarbie · 03/09/2023 07:07

Mumof2teens79 · 03/09/2023 00:36

When I first read the OP I assumed it was staff at a customer service desk, but reading the additional info I realise it was just people at the self checkout....so yes they work in a customer facing service role but not exactly highly trained.

It's really not normal or expected for anyone to ask those staff about items in stock. He would have no idea about whether an item was instock

So basically OP is complaining because a member of staff made eyecontact while contemplating a completely unexpected question about something that he doesn’t do....not sure how you stare aggressively to be honest.

Not sure how you aggressively stare? Really? Have you been around people much?

jenbj · 03/09/2023 08:13

And today it is being reported that Tesco staff may start wearing body cameras. It's absolutely shocking that as a society we have come to this. Worlds away from when I worked in Tescos in the 80s when I was at school. Yet reading posts like this I can see why. I feel sorry for anyone working in retail these days.

CrappyJob · 03/09/2023 15:14

Thebeachut · 03/09/2023 02:27

I have the app and work on self service
I get questioned all the time and have no idea about shop floor and stock.
I don't get signal to use the bloody app in the store and there isn't any WiFi. I also can't leave the area.
His response could of been to signpost to someone who could help though

Show quote history

He could have done that, but given that there was someone else there that came over to help, it doesn't sound like he needed to.

Rummikub · 03/09/2023 15:20

This makes no sense. There were many options he could’ve opted for that would’ve been more customer friendly. If he didn’t know the answer he could’ve asked the colleague he was talking to. He didn’t have to stare at customer.

happyasaseagullstealingchips · 01/12/2023 17:09

Long day, wrong thread 😔

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