AIBU - experience in a tesco store

[unknown7]

Don't know if I'm overreacting or not, probably am but it happened last night and I have history of some abuse. I was in a tesco stored at around 8pm, I wanted to ask about an item so approached two customer service people at the checkout area, one was male and one female. I approached them both but due to how they were standing I was closer to the male so showed him my phone. He gave me this aggressive blank stare and shrugged but kept staring right at me, he made me feel really uncomfortable and just didn't say anything. A really cold stare. The female noticed I was a little uncomfortable so quickly came across to help me but would you complain to tesco about this? Am I being ridiculous. He just made me feel so uneasy.

Harsh! It takes some teens a while to get confidence

This place gets more bizarre every day.

🤣So now this man is a ND teenager on his first day in his first job. Naughty, naughty OP!!

And this is why I don’t work in retail anymore. You’re being advised to report him to managers for staring at you after you addressed him?

You have no evidence that he is a racist, or a sexual predator. Another staff member came to help you, nothing bad happened, move on.

If you do report it, the managers will laugh about it afterwards. They have bigger problems to deal with.

The OP clearly stated that she said "can I ask a question about a product" and thrust her phone in his face. She didn't actually ask a question, just if she could ask a question. Most people I imagine would have then waited for the question to be asked. Maybe read the posts properly before commenting.

His response might not have been the best, but he didn't actually do anything wrong.

@givemeasunnyday "The OP clearly stated that she said "can I ask a question about a product" and thrust her phone in his face. She didn't actually ask a question, just if she could ask a question. Most people I imagine would have then waited for the question to be asked."

She "showed him her phone." And most people would have said "Yes of course. How can I help?"

I’m South Asian too and have dealt with racism / micro aggressions a lot, but I don’t think we have enough info to say that’s what’s happened here.

Would be good to get some more info, OP.

Why didn’t you ask ‘do you have x item in stock’? Were they talking to each other when you asked? I would always say ‘sorry to interrupt’ first if yes.

What has confidence got to do with glaring at a customer?

We only have OP's word it was a glare, it could have been a confused panicked look of oh help a customer I'm out my depth.

Goodness me. Do the posters using this incredibly hyperbolic language really think OP forcefully pushed her phone right into his face, maybe an inch from his eyes or squashes his nose with it, maybe? She showed her phone! Its hardly invasive unless you are showing someone something illegal or offensive, especially if said person works in customer service and is literally employed to serve the customer. I do believe in being gracious and giving people the benefit of the doubt, but I am surprised that so many people think the way the employee behaved is ok.

He gave me this aggressive blank stare and shrugged but kept staring right at me, he made me feel really uncomfortable and just didn't say anything. A really cold stare.

He kept staring at her. If he was confused or out of his depth with this incredibly simple interaction, did he need to keep staring at her silently?

Just forget about it. Some people are just moody.

Yes this was a inappropriate response that made you uncomfortable. I would complain. You could be a piece in a jigsaw puzzle that helps management understand this person needs training , a different role or a warning.

I've been at training events or workshops or meeting and have (as have others) put my hand up and said 'sorry, can I ask a quick question' and the person I am asking has always, always, without exception, responded with something like 'sure' or 'of course' or 'what would you like to know' or even 'if you can wait a few minutes we'll be taking questions at the end'. Nobody has ever just stared silently, not knowing what to say in response. Even if someone came up to me and spoke in a different language i didn't speak, I would respond to them in some way !

Perhaps he is ND?

Complaining about the look on someone's face will get you nowhere.

I would report it, I worked in the HR department of a large supermarket and I would have wanted to know, they may have had other complaints about him, or they can give him further customer service training.

This.

If other people have had negative interactions with him, a complaint like this would give more context to his profile and identify areas he needs training on. And you are wrong. I worked somewhere (not retail) and a member of the public commented to our how how our colleague never smiled and wasn't approachable. It was absolutely true and management brought it up with her!

I bet all the people giving him the benefit of the doubt work or worked in retail. The amount of customers who'd walk up to you regardless of what you were doing- on the phone, talking to another staff member whatever and say "butter?" "Milk?" "Returns" without actually forming a sentence let alone an acknowledgement that you were also a human.

Perhaps he was watching to get more clues as to how to interact?

I'm not saying he wasn't staring a really cold stare but perhaps OP has misconstrued his watching as a stare.

Just saying that OPs perception of what happened may not be his perception of what happened. Nothing wrong with OP feeding back to the store that he stared at her.

@Surlaplage "but I am surprised that so many people think the way the employee behaved is ok."

I don't think they do really. I just think they are being dicks.

But surely any decent employee would be able to follow that up with a polite "what can I help you with?" Or similar, and a smile. That's sort of how customer service works. You don't just stare at somebody in silence even if you have confused them a bit. The fact that the woman rescued the intersection would sort of suggest that he's either new or has form for this in some way.

That said, I probably wouldn't complain because a member of staff did help you and it's hard really to complain about a stare.

Tbh I don't think you can really complain about this as its so open to interpretation. Plus I can say from experience that management will probably just ignore a complaint like that.

He could have been on his first day and internally panicking, there could be a language barrier and he didn't understand what you were wanting from him, he could be ND and didn't realise that he was being rude. There are so many innocent possibilities here.

Believe me, if it is that he is just shit at customer service then the management will either know already or it won't be long until they do. And they will try to do something about it, but it's really not that straightforward. Customer service skills just can't be trained in to some people, however much training they have. Employment laws exist in customer service roles too and its not always easy or quick to deal with poor customer service.

Could he actually see the screen from that angle, or was the light bouncing off it? Was his aggressive stare actually a baffled stare?
I don't think I'd report he maybe didn't understand what you were asking - the other person answered your query.