To now want the complete opposite to when I was younger

[Pizzathesizeofthreeheads]

Is it too late?

All I ever wanted was to travel and live abroad. I did it and had a career also and achieved a lot of my dreams (still have a few places I’d like to see)
Love my family, but the last thing I wanted was to be with lots of kids, living down the road (I don’t know why)
Now, that’s what I want…but I’m 45, one Dd and a frozen embryo left. Parents are early 70’s and I’m starting to feel upset about them ageing and feel terribly guilty and sad that I missed all those years.
Is it too late to try for another child and move back to life near my family?
I so wish I was ten years younger

Well it may not be possible to have another baby (depending on the success of your frozen embryo), but what’s stopping you from moving back to near your parents?

I think you have to accept the grass isn't always greener and there's no point in regrets.

Do what will make you happy but another baby at 45 might be hard depending on age of DD partner etc.

If it would make you happy I vote go for it. If (and I hope this isn’t the case) the embryo doesn’t stick at least you know you tried.

Move back home, weigh up schools / friends / education anything important to you so it’s a heart and head decision rather than just heart. Good luck, you only get one life so make the most of it, move if it makes you and family happy

Dh same age, dc, 5

That's sounds okay would he like another baby?

It’s just bizarre and annoying to me now why I didn’t think like this earlier, much earlier

@RedSoloCup He said he feels knackered already, but he’d be ok whatever the outcome

I have 3 and they get very very expensive as they get older, I was warned this and didn't realise just how much so make sure you have plenty of money first especially going into retirement while they are still possibly at uni.

Out of interest, does anyone else now want a different life to the one you wanted when younger or have now? (Should have put this in the original post)

If you want another child, have one if it is possible.
Nothing is stopping you moving to be nearer to your parents.

If you hadn't have achieved those dreams you'd always be wondering what if

There is no point having regrets really as there isn't much you can do about a lot of things - aging and the inevitability of getting old being one of them. Personally I think 45 is too old - more like 46 if a transfer did happen to work. Sometimes you have to live with the life choices you made....travelling, living, living abroad, career....obviously delayed starting a family and maybe even leading to IVF? As harsh as this sounds - and I have children from IVF - we reap what we sow and whilst we think as women we can have it all whenever we want we can't. If you were 5 years younger I'd say go for it. But not at 45 sorry

@YukoandHiro It just seems quite shallow now, it’s not what really matters, family is, I just always wanted an exciting life

@onlylovecanhurtlikethis No, I didn’t delay it, 9 years of infertility from age 30, so although I didn’t feel 100% ready at 30/31, life could have turned out v differently.

Life is long (with luck), no one gets everything all at the same time

You travelled and had a career, which is what you wanted.

Now you are married with a child and can live near your parents, which is what you now want.

There’s no point regretting you weren’t living down the road at 30, because by the sound of it you’d have hated it. You want to come back now because you went away then.

I don’t know if you’ll be able to have another baby but you have a family now. You parents will hopefully be around for a good while.

@onlylovecanhurtlikethis So it wasn’t a case of reaping what I sow. I was also tied to years of fertility treatments and Ivf where we live, so couldn’t easily return to the U.K.

Of course. Isn’t that part of growing up and maturing?

Younger me wanted to move to Ibiza and live on pizza and MDMA.

Older me is a wellness and exercise fanatic.

It’s hard to believe we’re the same person.

It’s never too late for anything until you’re dead! 45 is still young if that’s how you feel. I’m 41 and making lots of big changes, and just had a baby. I might even have another! I’m planning a career change and moving abroad. I’ve been single and nomadic for ages, I’d love to do things in reverse and find a permanent home somewhere and maybe even get married. Point is, it doesn’t have to make sense for anyone but you. You might even change your mind again. Don’t regret your decisions up to now though, try to look at your life for what you had, not what you missed. You can’t do everything! You can treasure what you have though, and make the best of it.

In terms of trying for another baby at 45, I don’t see why not.

If your DH is on board, go for it.

At least you can say you tried!

How exactly were you tied?

Of course! When I was younger, I was all about parties, huge group of friends, gigs all the time, now at 44, I'm into going to art galleries, walking my dog in the park and going to bed at 10pm.
We change, it's normal. That'd be a bit sad otherwise.

What matters is that you were able to do whatever you wanted to do younger and seem to have the life you want now.

@HarrietJet I was in the healthcare system where I am now with rounds of ivf and fertility treatments etc

@junbean Love your attitude, do you think it just comes to some of us later? Ten years later in my case 🙈

It sounds like you've had an exciting life so far with plenty opportunity to pursue the dreams you still have so what's to regret? I'm the same age and also had a pretty well travelled youth, great career, no regrets. I now feel quite boring - I still enjoy travel but often find it a hassle with DC in tow. I live a couple of miles from the town I grew up in which is not where I thought I'd end up but it's a nice area, schools are good, I'm not 25 anymore so things are different I guess.

I think everything goes around in cycles. Returning home in later years after seeing the world is perfectly normal. I hope my kids do the same actually!