AIBU to resent my colleague's 'working from home' arrangement.

[Unfairy]

I work in a small but busy team, my colleage and I plus our manager. Our organisation is family friendly and my manager is tolerant about family commitments.

My colleague works from home for one or two days of her 4 day week. I work a 5 day week from the office, occasionally working from home.

Both of us have two children - hers are younger (one at school, one at nursery), mine are a little older. My colleague cites childcare costs and complications as the reason why she cannot do a 4 day week in the office.

True, my childcare costs are lower and simpler to arrange, but I know my colleague would get working tax credits if she paid for more childcare. As it is, she has family looking after her children for some of the time she is at work, so her childcare costs are low in comparisom to many.

I have a considerably bigger workload than my colleague. She admits this herself and has told me she feels guilty about it. She says our manager just doesn't give her enough work to do from home and she often runs out of work to do. Meanwhile, I am left to do all the work that crops up ad hoc in the office on her days off, as well as my own work. My manager consistently gives me a bigger workload.

But I like my colleague a lot and realise she is hardly going to refuse to work from home while our manager condones it.

There is no way I could ask for a similar working from home arrangement - the team would simply not be able to function! Our manager turns a blind eye to this.

I am on the same salary and grade as my collegue. I am getting increasingly resentful when I see her making loose arrangements with my manager to 'pop in' for a few hours on her way back from nursery, while I am chained to my desk. Just because my children are older does not mean I am less busy with them. Sisterly solidarity only goes so far.

I like both my colleague and my manager. I appreciate the flexible, family friendly policies at our workplace and have taken advantage of them myself. I don't want to rock the boat. But still, I feel that I am getting an unfair deal here.

What should I do?

Also it never looks good to say - she has a better deal than me or XYZ is a lazy so and so I want Fridays snoozing at my desk and less work. Better to talk about your own work load. Also every office will always have people better at getting out of work than others, sadly.

Would say look for another job completely or transfer in the office.

"are an increasing number of chief execs working flexibly (not just women CEOs). "

That is true. I used to get little digs and comments all the time. But a new head of group IT was apppointed a few months ago and he works 2/3 days from home. Made it much easier.

Unfairy i don't completely understand what you want to get out of this.

If your issue is your workload - stop taking everything on/talk to your manager.

If your issue is you want to work more flexibly/from home more - ask to do this.

If your issue is you want to be "upgraded" - then you need to discuss a plan for this with your manager.

It sounds like your colleague is doing you a favour by not competing with you at all - her family is clearly her priority, not work. She doesn't pretend otherwise. She has a good deal, good for her. It shouldn't be of concern to you.

If your manager says that no, you have to take on xyz, or that you can't work from home - then you can bring your colleague into it. Suggest she gets some of the extra work, or suggest she comes in to the offce more reliably if this is what is stopping you being able to have more flexibility. You have to keep this about you, not your colleague.

Thanks again. I know I will have to prepare well for this meeting. Thinking it over, I think my manager is the main problem here, as he has a reputation for not being proactive with staff issues. On one level, he is understanding and easy going (and in many ways a good manager), but he is also prone to pay lipservice to individual's requests when it suits him. I know one of his ex staff feels very bitter about his lack of recognition of her work.

It do want my present workload more fairly rewarded. I am want to keep my workload - or do a little more. I also want to retain the flexibility I enjoy. At the moment, I can request to work from home if I want to. I work from home on average a day a month but if my child was sick, for instance, would work more days at home.

I certainly don't want a miniscule rise in status and pay in exchange for a much bigger workload and no working from home flexibility!

As for that comment 'Other staff my resent it, but frankly stuff them' No way is this right!

Ok one may say it's up to each individual to negotiate a flexible deal for themselves, but if it's done piecemeal then the poor person who's last to request anything can have a really hard time!

Surely they are left with a small minefield of negotation. They have to get their working from home requests granted without it appearing that they are criticising their working from home colleagues. And people who are late with their requests are more likely to upset the whole way an office runs, so cause more angst and stress for everyone. And that reflects badly on the person making the request, who may be asking for no more than the person who got in first with their request. (Does that make sense - it's a bit of a ramble!)

Anyway IMO it is simply not fair. I think any individual's working from home arrangement has to work for the whole team from the word go and not reduce the working from home chances of other colleagues.

I think you need to outline how flexible working will increase productivity and eficiency rather than going on about how it should be a right etc. Have a look at www.flexibility.co.uk

Hi Unfairy, just read your comments on my contentious statement and I agree that it is a management issue.

My point basically was that yes, it is down to individuals to request the flexibility that works for them and for managers to process and accomodate those requests. Or not. You surely can't blame your colleague for asking - it's your managers job to negotiate from there. All I really meant was in your situation (like mine) there has been a precedent set - it's up to you whether you're confident enough to exploit it.

There is a culture of presenteeism in many workplaces, which in effect leads to bitching between staff about who works hardest. In my opinion if staff work together to exploit the new legislation to allow flexibilty for parents then everyone can get a better work/life balance. It might be done piecemeal, it might be a headache for management... but that's what they're paid to do. Also if you're the last person to request something which others have been permitted then HR would be involved should it be turned down.

On practical terms it seems you don't actually need anything much to change, just that you feel the situation is unfair. As someone said earlier, your colleague will almost certainly not be enhancing her long term career prospects. I feel my request for a little flexibility (2 whole hours a week) has affected my standing in our company as I'm seen as less ambitious, but it's outweighed by the benefit to our family as a whole.

I hope you get what you want out of your meeting.