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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

MN time minimizing

68 replies

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 30/08/2023 11:09

Honestly not a TAAT. Maybe more an "is it me?" than AIBU. Has anyone else noticed there is a real thread for minimizing how much time and effort is involved in things by some posters? A bit like the time equivalent of the mumsnet chicken. So people struggling to keep on top of laundry are told putting a wash on 'only takes 5 minutes' even including hanging out on the line. Changing beds? Ditto 5 minutes. Making a lasagne? It's no trouble - literally no time at all.

Am I just rubbish at household stuff is there some sort of competitive efficiency thing going on?

OP posts:

ditalini · 30/08/2023 11:16

It's all the popping that they do op.

If we also just "popped" things in the oven/wash etc, we too would be super efficient.

C8H10N4O2 · 30/08/2023 11:18

No its just part of rubbishing and devaluing work routinely organised, executed and delivered by women. Its women's work therefore it must be easy and low value.

Original poster

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 30/08/2023 11:31

C8H10N4O2 · 30/08/2023 11:18

No its just part of rubbishing and devaluing work routinely organised, executed and delivered by women. Its women's work therefore it must be easy and low value.

I think you're right. That's a bit depressing isn't it? Especially on here.

OP posts:

Conkersinautumn · 30/08/2023 11:34

I just assume they have a very poor sense of time or have someone who does that for them so they only do it when they are playing at house

WarmButteryCrumpets · 30/08/2023 11:34

My favourite was a list of life admin where someone suggested each item should only take 5 minutes. One of the items was organising a child's birthday party 😂

EarringsandLipstick · 30/08/2023 11:35

I think you're overthinking it.

These tasks are genuinely straightforward. I themselves, they possibly only take 5 minutes.

What's different for each individual is the other circumstances. For example, at stressful upsetting times, making a quick phone call has been too hard for me.

It's the lack of understanding about the wider context that prevent simple tasks being so for everyone that's the issue.

(On the lasagne thread, you're wrong though! That's simply a discussion about whether making lasagne is a faff or not, and nobody is diminishing anyone's work)

EarringsandLipstick · 30/08/2023 11:37

WarmButteryCrumpets · 30/08/2023 11:34

My favourite was a list of life admin where someone suggested each item should only take 5 minutes. One of the items was organising a child's birthday party 😂

That could take 5 minutes tho - or not much more!

It would take me far more though, as I dread things like this!

If you were booking a venue, that's a phone call & payment. Then a WhatsApp group to invite kids.

In theory that's it, but of course depending on the situation or type of party it could be way more complicated.

WarmButteryCrumpets · 30/08/2023 11:39

Well I think most of them involve food, party bags, nice little paper invitations, the agonising choosing of the guest list...

Or maybe I'm overthinking 😂

WunWun · 30/08/2023 11:41

Oh, I can't stand the popping!

Colourfulponderings · 30/08/2023 11:41

You’re not wrong. However my DH doesn’t pick his phone up until 9pm in the evening and he absolutely flies through chores.

I think my actual completing the task to mumsnet ratio is probably horrifying.

EarringsandLipstick · 30/08/2023 11:41

WarmButteryCrumpets · 30/08/2023 11:39

Well I think most of them involve food, party bags, nice little paper invitations, the agonising choosing of the guest list...

Or maybe I'm overthinking 😂

I agree - which is why I hate them too!

But it could be a 5 minute task for some people, as I described, so the person saying that is not incorrect to say so.

EarringsandLipstick · 30/08/2023 11:41

Colourfulponderings · 30/08/2023 11:41

You’re not wrong. However my DH doesn’t pick his phone up until 9pm in the evening and he absolutely flies through chores.

I think my actual completing the task to mumsnet ratio is probably horrifying.

Brilliant! Yes, me too!

Perisoire · 30/08/2023 11:43

YANBU. I don’t want to ‘bung’ all my lovely clothes in the washing machine. I’ll take my time and sort into dark colours, pastels, whites, hand wash, bath towels, tea towels, bedding.

My clothes last for longer and as I don’t subscribe to the MN mantra of fresh clothes and towels daily (except for u/w and socks), I don’t have loads to wash.

Original poster

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 30/08/2023 11:44

There are people on the lasagne thread saying it doesn't take much time and effort though and that just isn't true. It isn't difficult - I love making a lasagne but if you factor in all the elements it is time consuming. It's like the 'just' chop an onion and some garlic - not remotely difficult but add in clearing away all the bits into the right bin, cleaning chopping board, washing hands 3 times to get rid of the smell, it takes a bit of time, not hours obviously but still some time. Same with washing- sticking clothes in the machine takes no time. Collecting said clothes, sorting colours, getting them dry, sorting into individual's and putting them away does take time and it's like a refusal to acknowledge that.

OP posts:

Perisoire · 30/08/2023 11:45

Yep, a lasagne can take 3 hours. As it’s time consuming, I make 9 portion one that can make multiple meals.

When I’ve made a quick lasagne it’s just not as nice.

BarnacleBeasley · 30/08/2023 11:46

I chop my veg in the food processor and then stick it (the processor not the veg) into the dishwasher and I still can't be arsed making a lasagne. Also making sure the toddler is not in the kitchen when I turn the food processor on because it is Too Noisy probably takes 5 minutes on its own.

EarringsandLipstick · 30/08/2023 11:47

There are people on the lasagne thread saying it doesn't take much time and effort though and that just isn't true.

I'm one of those saying that - it is true. For me.

I know all the tasks but I can easily & time efficiently do them so it's not a faff. For me!

I'd often prep the Bolognese as I'm getting breakfast / lunches ready. It'll be in the oven for an hour so done before we all leave for work / school.

But equally there are any amount of things that I do find a faff and will procrastinate over. Or if I'm in a low mood, will seem too hard. It's individual to the person.

Itsalwaysthelasttime · 30/08/2023 11:47

I was thinking similar this morning my dp cleared the kitchen yesterday it took him ages at least half an hour. I did it to the same standard this morning it took me 10 minutes. Some people just do stuff faster.

ShirleyPhallus · 30/08/2023 11:49

My favourite word on here is “just” which somehow manages to reduce absolutely any task in to a teeny tiny thing which takes no time at all

”making a lasagne is so easy, just make a ragu and a white sauce, just assemble it then in to oven. It takes minutes”.

WandaWonder · 30/08/2023 11:49

Well it depends some people hoover 3 times a day, we do it once a week. Some people iron every single item they own I do a few shirts a week (not my own), Some people plump cushions and tidy each night we do it whenever we feel like and don't have cushions that need plumping (hardly ever)

So by whose standards are you comparing ?

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 30/08/2023 11:50

You’re not wrong. However my DH doesn’t pick his phone up until 9pm in the evening and he absolutely flies through chores.

Does he genuinely get them dealt with or just do the minimum and/or kick the can down the road?

I hate it when you email a number of important points to somebody and get a cursory reply that makes it clear they haven't properly read it, haven't addressed most of the important points and are just considering it done without actually bothering to do it.

Some people believe this makes them super-efficient, when I just consider it lazy and negligent. Not necessarily saying your DH is like this, though!

RhymesWithTangerine · 30/08/2023 11:51

That lasagne thread was ridiculous - the person who did the extra step of freezing it all didn’t really seem to appreciate that was an extra step etc.

Lasagne isn’t a hassle compared to eg a physics PhD but it is a hassle in meal prep terms.

WandaWonder · 30/08/2023 11:52

Another thought though is I do wonder what on earth people did on maternity leave with their first child (only for us) that they seem to be doing housework 8 hours a day 5 or so days a week, I did an hour a day on a busy day

EarringsandLipstick · 30/08/2023 11:53

RhymesWithTangerine · 30/08/2023 11:51

That lasagne thread was ridiculous - the person who did the extra step of freezing it all didn’t really seem to appreciate that was an extra step etc.

Lasagne isn’t a hassle compared to eg a physics PhD but it is a hassle in meal prep terms.

Not. For. Everyone.

I'm perplexed that some people really want to insist it's a challenge. I find various meal a PITA, not lasagne making.

It's almost like people are different!

Lamelie · 30/08/2023 11:53

I thought this was going to about minimising time spent on Mumsnet

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