To rehome this dog without the owners permission?

[Brightandshining]

So there's a very long backstory here that I do not have the strength to type out from start to finish.
To keep it simple basically the dog belonged to my dad who dropped dead unexpectedly last year. He now technically belongs to my mother who came to live with us and brought him with her. She was living her nearly a year and has just returned to her house which is abroad. So she is not in this country. She has left the dog here. She was supposed to take him back with her but did not get his vaccinations sorted in time,
Basically this is not a suitable place for a dog to live. We have been trying our best to do right by him but he can't stay here long term.
I have zero confidence that my mum is actually going to come through with a plan and fund it, to get this dog back to her home.
Its probably important to mention she has narcissistic tendencies and a full blown hoarding and shopping addiction. And she is also disabled and has limited mobility. To get to her home you either fly or to take the dog there would be a 4 day car journey across Europe.
My husband took her home (and thered have been no room in the car for the dog even if she had sorted his vaccinations due to the fact this 8 seat car was packed completely full of her items that she had amassed whilst here) and she did not even pay him petrol for that.
When he got her back to her house it transpired she had been lying about paying her bills and all utilities were cut off.. the gardener had stopped coming and the garden was so wild you couldn't even access it. She also had not paid us her contribution for bills at our house. Important to mention probably that she has no mortgage and gets 3.5k a month in income.
Also relevant is that whilst living with us she did barely anything for the dog... and despite me nagging her never got him sheared or nails cut etc until I eventually just went and paid for it myself because I was worried about the health of the dog.
Other important info might be that we have no garden, are straight onto a main road. Dog does not like children (snaps and growls and has bitten my youngest a few times) and I have two primary aged children one of whom is under assessment for and and I am also pregnant. I also work 12 hour night shifts and my husband works full time.... its very hard to care for this dog well. He is a very emotionally needy dog. Howls if someone is not in the room with him.He's a poodle.
My husband and I really feel it woukd be best if he went to live with someone with more time, no children and a garden.
I contacted the dogs Trust but they said they would need the permission of the legal owner.
My mum will not give her permission but also has no actual plan to return him to her.
We cannot afford either financially or in terms of time off work, to do another cross Europe journey with this dog.
I do not know what to do.
I feel like a failure. My dad loved this dog so much but I just can't look after him in the way he needs. I'm very angry at my mother for not prioritising him and then also refusing to acknowledge or take responsibility for the fact this causes him to suffer.
Its causing me so much stress ive been having actual nightmares about this dog.
I'm not sure what we can do without my mums permission? Do we early have to just care for this dog (badly) until she decides to sort out getting him?
Id be grateful for any advice.
Should I just try and go ahead with the dogs trust rehousing and give her number and hope for the best?

I would contact your mum and explain that you cannot keep the dog. You’re very saddened by it and would love to keep the dog in the family but he isn’t suited to your home and you’re not in the best place to care for it. Explain that the dog needs committed owners who will properly exercise the dog and give it a good home. If she desperately wants the dog then explain she has a set amount of days to come and collect.

I know dogs trust look after dogs well but I would also look into other options to rehome. Do you have any family or friends who would like the dog? Meaning it can still be kept close and well looked after?
Personally, I wouldn’t put the dog in dogs trust. He will remain in a kennel and will be heart broken. I know it’s hard but the dog is used to a family and a home. He might not adjust to the kennel. I know it’s not easy and it’s really hard but try see if someone can rehome the dog first and Properly vet them to make sure they will care for the dog .

@Hiddenvoice mu mum is not a reasonable person. I have sent her numerous messages about the dog and in the last one I said I will be trying to rheometer if she doesnt sort anything out by mid September. But she has not given her permission or any plans for him.
I have asked round friends and family but have had no luck from anyone sadly.

How does anyone even know it’s her dog rather than yours?

Personally I feel that a dog that has bitten children may need to be pts. Even if it’s rehomed you can’t guarantee that it won’t be left with children in the future.
I couldn’t live with myself if I rehomed it and it ended up attacking a child somewhere.
Tell your mum it died in the night and take it to the vet, she won’t be any the wiser. And yes, a responsible vet will put a healthy dog that has bitten children to sleep.

Do you know which name the microchip is registered in? If it's your dad name then technically he is the legal owner and if you have a copy of his death certificate then you should be able to transfer the microchip to your name, become the legal owner and then surrender it to a rehoming center.
I wouldn't tell your mum about it and I wouldn't tell her which rehoming center you surrendered the dog to.

It might be worth going through any documentation your dad left behind to find the chip registration document but if you can't find it then a vet should be able to scan the chip and tell you who is he registered owner.You could register with a vet and tell them you have taken the dog in but it has occured to you that the chip registration hasn't been updated. If the dog does not have a chip then there is no proof of legal ownership, claim the dog as yours (it's been abandoned so technically it is) and then surrender it so it can find a home where its needs will be met.

@CoopAndWheels it did not seriously hurt my children and I do not believe it would do so. Its afraid of small children but my youngest has asd and can get in its face which unfortunately I've not managed to intervene in time a few times. This is why I want to re home the dog im not on top of it at all. And I certainly do not want the dog around a newborn. But I do think dogs Trust could make sure to make potential Foster owners aware the dog shoukd not be unsupervised around young children. He's not a vicious dog he won't randomly attack kids its just if they come up to him and start pestering him he gets frightened by it and snaps at them. I really don't think he needs to be put to sleep. He's a healthy dog. He just needs to be in a quieter environment.

@FOJN that is really good advice thankyou! Hopefully he is just registered in my dads name

Dog does not like children (snaps and growls and has bitten my youngest a few times you cannot possibly keep this dog in your home any longer

@Whataretheodds I know. But how to actually get him out of here without just abandoning him by the side of the road is the issue. I'm very angry with my mum for just dumping this responsibility on me and not even accepting that it is a responsibility and how hard it is for me and my family.

Just say you are the legal owner. Microchips are often not accurate anyway.
Sorry for everything you've been through, it all sounds a very upsetting and stressful time .

Contact Dogs Trust

I don't think there is such a thing as a legal owner anyway tbh. Whoever the dog is living with surely is 'the owner'.

@Janiie hes microchipped and has a dog passport etc so unfortunately very clearly legally owned by not me!

What an awful situation. She obviously doesn’t like the poor dog and has abandoned him.
If the chip is in your dad’s name you can surely explain to a rescue organisation that the owner is deceased and rehome him. A breed-specific rescue would be worth contacting if you can find one.
Yes it’s rough on the dog, but you obviously can’t keep him. Good rescue charities are really good at understanding a dog’s problems and working with them.
Where are you btw?

I was able to change the details on my dogs microchip years after I got him. I never got the stuff from the last owner - had to answer some questions about the name and breed he was registered under, address of his previous home etc.. and I was able to do it for a tenner. I think you need to become the ‘legal’ owner and rehome the dog. Maybe write to your mum saying if she hasn’t objected to that within X amount of time you’ll take it as consent? Good luck to you all!!

You will probably find res use groups on Facebook who would be able to help re-home him.

Just tell them he's your dad's dog, your dad has died and your mum lives abroad. The dog's not going to tell them differently

If the chip / passport is in your father's name and you have a copy of your father's death certificate, you should be able to get the details changed fairly easily, making you the legal owner.

I would then recommend contacting breed-specific rehoming groups, rather than Dogs' Trust - a quick Google threw this group up and I'm sure there will be others out there?

I would rehome him through the Dogs Trust. Obviously your Mum will then make noises about how you've done it without her permission, how you've gone against her wishes and she how was making arrangements to have the dog join her. So tell her the Dog is with a foster owner until she's able to make those arrangements, you know she never will but it avoids you being made the villain.

Can you enquire with any charities re someone fostering the dog whilst your mum sorts out the paperwork?
not sure what happens when they realise she won’t!

Poor dog. And poor you.
Your mum does not sound like a responsible owner at all.
It’s a real shame you don’t have any friends or family that can take him as this really is the easiest solution. Have you asked around at work?
Try local animal rescues rather than the Dogs Trust?

This post is so sad. Poor dog. Please get him rehomed.

You can update the name on this microchip, just go online & do it. They will give your mum 4 weeks to claim him or challenge the ownership on the chip. I'd say she won't because you could easily say that if he gets lost he needs to be registered where he's living ie with you.
I know that this doesn't mean you own him but it's a clue to where he lives.
I don't agree that he needs to be PTS. He needs peace and quiet.
Could you try and find a local small scale rescue that fosters in homes rather than a kennel? Where in the country are you?

Look for local rescues near you, especially ones who place dogs in a foster home first and not in kennels. They assess dogs before rehoming them. The dog has effectively been abandoned by its owner.

If you mom is not willing to come and get him I would take him to a dogs trust. You've already said he's bitten your kids. Surely their safety comes first?
I'd just do it and then deal with your mom, what's she going to do? She's being unreasonable

what an awful thing to suggest to put the poor dog to sleep! I hope you won’t take this poster’s advice on condemning your dear dad’s dog!