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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mil and bins

67 replies

SpiderD · 29/08/2023 11:38

Holidaying with MIL, my husband and kids.

Brought tied carrier bag of rubbish down from my bathroom bin and put it general bin that's to go out later.

MIL proceeds to untie and go through it. Asked her what she's doing. She says she just wants to add more rubbish to it, which is not necessary, and suspect she is just going through my bin to see if anything recyclable has been left in there (apparently my waste sorting skills are not up to scratch).

I asked her not to go through my bathroom waste (not a conversation I really relish) but she continues.

I've now taken the bag from her and am having to put in my car to take home after the bloody holiday.

Feeling v fucked off and just wanted to check - is this actually normal? (TMI but several tampons and DH used condom features in said bathroom waste Blush not sure she needs to sift through either)

OP posts:
Original poster
SpiderD · 29/08/2023 12:55

Now you're all going to tell me I have a DH problem. Husband spoke to her but it went more like 'thank you so much for everything you've done to keep the place tidy but spider would prefer to leave the bathroom bin bag alone, but thank you again for being so helpful nonetheless, we really appreciate it'

and she went off in a sulk and said she should go home early Hmm and now I'm the bad guy

FFS

OP posts:
Mumsgirls · 29/08/2023 13:00

Sounds like a win. Hate sulkers

Womencanlift · 29/08/2023 13:02

I couldn’t be bothered with that level of passive aggressiveness so I would be telling her to remember to get a grip while she is on her way home

The odd thing being missed from the recycling bin is not exactly going to fix the climate crisis 🙄

aloris · 29/08/2023 13:04

SquirrelFeeder · 29/08/2023 12:09

My Dad used to go through my bedroom & bathroom rubbish when I was a teen. I used to use pads back then and would wrap them up properly, as you're meant to, then put them in bathroom bin. He would unwrap one and go "Eughhhhhh" you disgusting bitch" ConfusedConfused Unsure what I was doing wrong nor what else I could do with them...

You did nothing wrong. He was the one in the wrong. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

LookItsMeAgain · 29/08/2023 13:06

@SpiderD - when she does this: "and she went off in a sulk and said she should go home early" you reply politely with "Well, you must do what you feel is right for you" and leave her to it.

You're not wrong.

MariaPurito · 29/08/2023 13:09

What's your tone like with her, mine would be raging if she was rummaging through my tampons.

Hey MIL, get your beak out of my bin, there's bloody tampons in there you mucky cow.

WhateverMate · 29/08/2023 13:09

I read the thread title and thought this was going to be about a badly written romance novel! 🤣🤣

IHateLegDay · 29/08/2023 13:11

Omg what a psycho. I would've left her to mess with the jizzy neurofen packet. Maybe it'd teach her not to mess with your bin again!

CharlotteBog · 29/08/2023 13:21

I usually roll my eyes at the somewhat daft MN suggestions on these sorts of thread. As IF anyone in RL would do 1/2 the things.

I can't resist this one though. Pour some super glue in the bag (if it's already tied that should stop it drying out), or some gloss paint.

Serendipitoushedgehog · 29/08/2023 13:25

Gross.

ladyofshertonabbas · 29/08/2023 13:30

Yanbu. That’s a real invasion of privacy.

RunAwayTurnAwayRunAwayTurnAway · 29/08/2023 13:34

She's a minger.

Original poster
SpiderD · 29/08/2023 13:53

@CharlotteBog now that's genius!

OP posts:
jlpth · 29/08/2023 13:55

He should go to her and say, “look, I was trying to spare you the bloody tampons and semen filled condoms. Why are you angry with me about that?”

what a stupid stupid woman

newnamethanks · 29/08/2023 14:00

YANBU. I'd be tempted to put a large piece of paper in it with Mind Your Own Fing Business written on it. Or possibly print out these MN responses for her to find in there. Some people. Still, at least she's not on hunger strike in a church.

knobkopf · 29/08/2023 14:12

YANBU.
I used to have a fucking weird neighbour who regularly went through the communal bins to find out if people were recycling properly. He'd fish out stuff in the general waste, such as a cigarette packet which should have been in the recycling, and then knock on people's doors to present them with the offending item and a lecture.
He showed up at my door once with the small bin liner that had been in my bathroom bin and had then been put in a second bin liner with other non-recyclable waste. The small bin liner was full of used sanitary towels, most of which were wrapped in the plastic wrappers they had come in, but a couple were loose. (I'm assuming he knew they were mine because I was the only woman of menstruating age in the block of flats at the time...)
He started shouting at me saying the plastic wrappers should be in the plastics and not the general waste (tbh I'm not sure if that's true - I'm in another country and it's so fucking complicated. Some plastic wrapping can go in with the plastic bottles etc, but some can't).
Anyway, I went absolutely ballistic at him. I don't lose my temper often. But in that case I was so embarrassed as he was holding a bin liner containing my bloody sanitary towels, basically I hit the roof. I can't remember what I yelled at him but something to the effect of he was utterly disgusting, he needed to find something better to do than open bags of rubbish in the communal bin and sort through them and that if he ever showed up at my door with anything out of the bins again I'd be reporting him to the house management company.
Never did it again...

Some people are just fucking weird.

MinnieGirl · 29/08/2023 14:13

SpiderD · 29/08/2023 12:55

Now you're all going to tell me I have a DH problem. Husband spoke to her but it went more like 'thank you so much for everything you've done to keep the place tidy but spider would prefer to leave the bathroom bin bag alone, but thank you again for being so helpful nonetheless, we really appreciate it'

and she went off in a sulk and said she should go home early Hmm and now I'm the bad guy

FFS

Result! Offer to help her pack….

This would be a cross to die on for me… not only is she a nosy old bat but she did it after you had asked her to stop.
I would be making it very clear that I considered her behaviour disgusting and weird and she wouldn’t be welcome to come away with us again.

FigTreeInEurope · 29/08/2023 14:18

Minger In Law.

FreeRider · 29/08/2023 14:22

@SquirrelFeeder Sorry your father was a cunt. I wasn't 'allowed' to throw out used sanitary products full stop, they had to be flushed down the toilet. No bathroom bin, not 'allowed' to have a bin in my bedroom, what went into the only bin in the house, the kitchen bin was very closely monitored. This was back i the mid/late 80s and my mother didn't believe in recycling, either.

My mother had a friend's teenage daughter stay with her for a week...the poor girl was storing her used pads in her suitcase, my mother found out and went spare. That was 30 years ago and my mother STILL goes out about how 'disgusting' she was.

ActDottie · 29/08/2023 14:25

Yanbu!!! Who does that!?!?!? Particularly bathroom bins where there’s a lot of personal stuff.

ohsuzannah · 29/08/2023 14:31

Ugh 🤢
Dirty woman!

cimena · 29/08/2023 14:31

Oh god my mum would do exactly this down to the sulk. She is not great. It’s a control thing though.

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 29/08/2023 14:33

FreeRider · 29/08/2023 14:22

@SquirrelFeeder Sorry your father was a cunt. I wasn't 'allowed' to throw out used sanitary products full stop, they had to be flushed down the toilet. No bathroom bin, not 'allowed' to have a bin in my bedroom, what went into the only bin in the house, the kitchen bin was very closely monitored. This was back i the mid/late 80s and my mother didn't believe in recycling, either.

My mother had a friend's teenage daughter stay with her for a week...the poor girl was storing her used pads in her suitcase, my mother found out and went spare. That was 30 years ago and my mother STILL goes out about how 'disgusting' she was.

We had to burn ours in the sitting room fireplace. Bonkers.

SM4713 · 29/08/2023 14:34

I'd clip/shave your DH's beard, chest, back, pubes or where ever there is hair and add it to the bag! Little hairs get everywhere and are really messy on a foragers hands 😂

Original poster
SpiderD · 29/08/2023 14:36

@SM4713 wtf she went through your stuff? That's awful. How did you find out? And did she apologise? (Or were you too mortified to bring it up?)

OP posts:
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