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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pub with a kid

57 replies

Lou9453 · 29/08/2023 09:10

Am I being unreasonable thinking it’s not right/a red flag to regularly go pub with kids for few hours , and the kid watching their device for the whole time ?
Each day this bank hols weekend they went to a pub for few pints and on some of those days they then had few more cans at home .

When mentioning concerns about the drink it gets brushed off . Any advice or kind words please ?

OP posts:
MollsDolls · 29/08/2023 10:05

Personally for me it's a no no. I wouldn't even get away with that now and my 3 are all teens. We only ever go to our local for a bite to eat (maybe about 4 times a year) and they get bored quite quickly once the food has been eaten.

Some people seem to think that there is no issue with spending a few hours in the pub with a child on their device for God knows how long and I too would frown upon it.

At the end of the day all you can do is voice your opinion and they can do wit it what they will. Obviously they haven't taken it on board. What can you do?

NewName122 · 29/08/2023 10:08

Thats normal round here. I don't have young kids so don't take them but everyone seems to.

Annaishere · 29/08/2023 10:10

I’ve been to a pub for a couple glasses and some food with my sister and her baby. We weren’t drunk and it was quiet so I can’t see anything wrong with it

Dolores87 · 29/08/2023 10:11

I honestly think this is completely fine as long as no adult in charge is steaming drunk and are all capable of looking after the children and noone is doing anything dodgy like driving and the kids are happy enough. I loved going to the pub with my Dad as a kid. Lemonade and crisps and I made friends with other kids of his friends and we'd play in the beer garden.

KinooOrKinog · 29/08/2023 10:11

Who are you talking about?

NewName122 · 29/08/2023 10:16

You reminded me of a core childhood memory. Being at a local pub as a kid, sat eating crisps and drinking lemonade with my cousins. One cousin would always fall asleep and would lay across 2 chairs. Was a great time. I suppose it depends if the kids are happy going doesn't it.

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 29/08/2023 10:17

This bank holiday weekend
So 3 days?

You sound a bit judgemental.

Does the pub have space where the kids could go and play if they wanted? How old are the kids? How do you know they went back and had a few more drinks? Were they so drunk you were concerned for the kid's safety? Was it more than one family?

Mmhmmn · 29/08/2023 10:19

Generally speaking not a missive problem for a one off. I've been in the pub with grandparents 30 yrs back on holiday.
Every day of the bank holiday weekend though is unnecessary and pretty scummy. Poor kids...do they do anything for them? Trip to a zoo or anything?

Mmhmmn · 29/08/2023 10:20

YANBU

ManateeFair · 29/08/2023 10:20

What's your particular concern? Are you concerned that the kids are being taken to a pub for a couple of hours, or are you concerned that the parents are alcoholics?

I've worked in a lot of pubs when I was younger, including a fairly shitty one where it was pretty normal and common for parents to bring kids in regularly during the day at the weekend/on a bank holiday and drink a couple of pints while the kids drank lemonade, ate crisps and attempted to amuse themselves. (I'm not talking about coming in for a family meal, which is obviously very different.) While this was certainly not ideal (in my opinion anyway) I wasn't concerned for the kids' welfare. They were bored and I personally didn't think the pub was a good environment for them, but I also didn't think they were being actively harmed and it was considered normal by them and their families and friends to do this.

However, if you think the children in your case are being neglected by the parents because their parents are alcoholics, and are regularly too drunk to provide basic care for the kids at home, that's a very different matter. Are the children clean, fed, clothed, going to school and so on? Do their parents hold down jobs?

HoppingPavlova · 29/08/2023 10:23

Normal round here but pubs are set up for it so kids are not on devices. Family pubs have children’s live entertainment for young ones, also things like children’s climbing walls (with pub provided supervisor, kids in harnesses), big games rooms with some being electronic games or sports orientated such as hoop machines, and they won tickets to hand in for age appropriate prizes. All with adult supervisors. Of course this is all so the adults can spend lots of time and $$ chucking them back while listening to the adult entertainment band or just taking an extra few hours over lunch. Kids seem to have fun and love the tacky prizes when young.

StEtienne93 · 29/08/2023 10:27

Not for hours on end and certainly not regularly.

I do take my 5yo to pubs, but only occasionally. Usually it's for food or sometimes we'll pop in for one drink during a walk and usually sit outside if the weather allows.

SleepingStandingUp · 29/08/2023 10:28

If they were at home, would they still be on their device?

How much is the adult drinking?

How old is the kid?

Peskytooth · 29/08/2023 10:31

Sitting drinking and ignoring your kids while they play on devices- I wouldn’t personally do that ever. If DH and I want to have a few drinks together we’d get a babysitter.

Taking the kids out for lunch in a nice family friendly pub and then letting them colour/watch tv with headphones on device for 20 mins while DH and I chat and I finish my wine/he has a cup of tea. Yes we would do that occasionally.

sleepyscientist · 29/08/2023 10:34

In Europe's cafe culture this would be perfectly fine and I wish we had more of it. I also think it depends on the pub, our local has a beer garden with play frame which the kids love in the summer they are out there and in the winter it's not unusual for them to be sat at a table together playing games. However we live semi rural and I can't imagine it in a city centre

takealettermsjones · 29/08/2023 10:37

How old are the kids?

I suppose if the kids refuse to do anything except go on screens then sitting next to them at the pub with a pint might be nicer than sitting next to them at home with a tea 🤷🏻‍♀️

Saschka · 29/08/2023 10:39

There’s a spectrum isn’t there? Family going for pub lunch, children playing in beer garden - no issue whatsoever.

Child tagging along with dad and his mates to local boozer, stuck on a bar stool being ignored while dad gets pissed - obviously not great.

Tomoinson123 · 29/08/2023 10:40

NewName122 · 29/08/2023 10:16

You reminded me of a core childhood memory. Being at a local pub as a kid, sat eating crisps and drinking lemonade with my cousins. One cousin would always fall asleep and would lay across 2 chairs. Was a great time. I suppose it depends if the kids are happy going doesn't it.

Me too. I used to get really excited about going to the pub, a coke in a glass bottle, some crisps and lots of people fussing over me was a nice time 🤗

WhateverMate · 29/08/2023 10:42

What do you need kind words for?

Are the kids yours/being taken by someone else and you're worried about them?

I used to love going to the pub as a kid although we didn't go often.

Thepeopleversuswork · 29/08/2023 10:44

It depends. Kids being taken to pubs while the family has a meal (including alcohol) fine.

Kids occasionally being taken with adults drinking: OK.

Kids being dragged out to watch parents get steaming drunk: not OK.

BodenCardiganNot · 29/08/2023 10:44

I’ve been to a pub for a couple glasses and some food with my sister and her baby. We weren’t drunk and it was quiet so I can’t see anything wrong with it

In what way is that comparable to the op's post? Was the baby on a screen for the whole time? Did you go three days in a row? Did you ignore the baby?

WhateverMate · 29/08/2023 10:45

Oh I can see the OP wrote this an hour and a half ago and immediately fucked off 🙄

Why do people do this? At least hang around for 4 or 5 minutes to clarify a few things you might've left out of the opening post.

CornishGem1975 · 29/08/2023 10:45

As long as the parents aren't steaming drunk I don't see the issue. Nobody else's business is it?

FrenchandSaunders · 29/08/2023 10:48

It sounds like a boring weekend for a kid. One day for a few hours, no problem, but certainly not every day.

We took ours to pubs when they were small, but always tried to ensure there was a play area for kids. They didn't sit on screens. And it wasn't that frequent.

AmazingSnakeHead · 29/08/2023 10:55

Two different issues here. On the one hand, taking the kids to the pub is fine. Leaving them on devices is not. if you are treating your kids like members of the community and taking them out with you, you need to extend that to actually talking to them and parenting them, perhaps encouraging them to play with other kids.

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