To ask you what you wish you did before having a baby

[chunkychunks]

Hi, I'm due with my first in January 😃

Inspired by a tik tok I saw I'm trying to compile a list of things to do for myself / with my husband before the baby comes whilst I / we have the opportunity.

I'm really excited for the baby but I'm aware this is it now and I'm never going to have this time back!

So far I have

1. go to the cinema (we met in covid and haven't actually got round to going to the cinema together yet 😂)
2. go for a long country walk then to a nice pub for a Sunday roast
3. do the long Windsor walk
4. go for a massage (I have a voucher I got as a birthday present)

I live in the east of England , work from home 8-4 Monday to Friday if that gives you an idea of my restrictions. I have about 2 weeks annual leave to use. My budget is relatively small but we could prob stretch to one trip abroad .

Is there anything you made sure you did / wish you did before the baby came?

Just sit round and watch crap on TV and eat biscuits without thinking you've got to get up and sort xyz in 5 mins. I've not had 10 mins to myself in 8 years.

I wish both DH and I had dealt with the impact of our childhoods properly.

DH got very depressed after dc were born and needed a lot of therapy and support. Hard with two tiny dc. It was completely unexpected. It was triggered by being a parent and having to consider his upbringing.

I hadn't done enough thinking through the implications of my childhood on the way I would instinctively parent, I thought I had dealt with my childhood and moved on. But I really hadn't properly, leaving it behind was harder than I expected.

Have found somebody to tell me not to buy a ball pit.

If you are about to have a child soon word to the wise. Do not buy a ball pit!

I wish we'd gone to more theatre, out for evening meals and had more weekends away. Our eldest is nearly 11 and we've only been able to have one child-free night away since he was born. We have to pay babysitters to go out in the evening, so it's not a frequent event.

Try loads of gourmet sex stuff that takes ages to prepare and really elaborate foreplay.
you won’t have more than ten minutes for it for a few years.

Argh the posters saying “you can do all/most of that stuff with a baby!”. Oh wow, no shit 😆I think the point is that it’s not relaxing or enjoyable with a baby/toddler…

I miss the peace and quiet and the autonomy. I miss NOT going to parks, soft play centres and the gross leisure centre swimming pool. As I frequently tell my children when they say “what are we meant to do/can you play with us?” “I didn’t come here for ME”.

So there’s nothing in particular that I would do apart from all the things I like whilst being left alone!!

Oh and definitely NOT gourmet sex stuff!! Jesus fucking Christ no. More relaxing sitting around eating and reading and doing crochet vibes. Horses for courses.

I'm loving reading all of these so much!!! Giving me lots to think about! Thanks all for taking time to reply this is fab xx

I wish that I had been to Go Ape before having my DC. I really want to go but as a single parent with a lack of childcare options I can't go yet. I'm also considerably more overweight than before pregnancy so I will look awful in a harness and well as needing the overweight persons harness. I've tried shifting it but no luck.

Enjoy your clean tidy clutter free house!

I wish I’d worked abroad and enjoyed living in a different culture. Felt I couldn’t do that once I’d had a baby. If I had my time again, I’d have done it and taken her with me.

A luxury resort holiday! I never wanted to do one before kids but now I have 3 there is no chance whatsoever of having a relaxing pool holiday without chaos and I really fancy it now!