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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she's in big trouble

297 replies

skatermom · 29/08/2023 06:45

My 14 year old daughter went out into town with her friend yesterday afternoon being bank holiday Monday. We live in a small village and she walks everywhere mostly. This time, they decided to get on the train and thought she would buy a ticket on the train. Her friend has a season ticket due to taking a train for school.
Well, the train conductor gave her a penalty notice for £50 and that a letter will be sent to her address as to what to do.

The problem is that she said she was not about to give her name and address to a stranger so she gave them a false name AND address!
So we will never receive said letter!
I've been so worried because I know it's an offence to not have a ticket but a worse one to give false details. I'm sure it's a criminal offence!
I'm so worried that she'll be on a CCTV somewhere or a 'wanted' ad placed out for her. I haven't slept all night thinking about this.

What would you do? Will they come find her?
Am I unreasonable to think she will be in big trouble with this?

OP posts:
Oto · 29/08/2023 09:20

caringcarer · 29/08/2023 08:18

I'd march her down to the rail station and get her to explain to the ticket person she forgot to buy a ticket then panicked and will pay now. I'd not be proud if my DD did that I'd be ashamed of her, and make her set it right.

This.

Zanatdy · 29/08/2023 09:21

Schmokin · 29/08/2023 07:11

Can’t remember the last time I went on a train that didn’t have a ticket barrier? Are you sure this is not a series of lies here OP.

Our local station doesn’t have a barrier, many on our line don’t once you’re outside of the more busy stations.

PoshPineapple · 29/08/2023 09:21

Blinkinbloodyhayfever · 29/08/2023 07:36

Making mistakes are part of growing up and learning. I can't imagine anything will come of this, but for the sake of teaching her a lesson you could take her to the local ticket station (if you still have one) to make her explain and apologise. It'll teach her to take responsibility.

This.

Thisismeyeah · 29/08/2023 09:21

I would make her buy a ticket for the journey she travelled, all be it a different day, but at least she has paid and is not financially better off. Obviously don't use it for travel. Concider asking her donate the remainder of the fee to a local deserving charity again from her money. If it was a genuine accident then I wouldn't worry and just forget about it.

MushMonster · 29/08/2023 09:23

I think she indeed should have been able to buy a ticket.
It is not like they caught her trying to have a run for it and jump the barriers at the arrival station, is it?
She asked for a ticket inside the train, so she should get a ticket, not a fine.
I do not like this. Why did this man not allow her to buy a ticket? You say yourself you have seen tickets bought inside the train all the time. It actually sounds dodgy to me and it may be a good thing that she did not give her real name and address.
You still can take her to the station, explain what happened, that she asked for a ticket and the conductor denied, what sounded strange to her. Then he asked for her name and address and she felt she should not be giving her details to him. Offer to pay the fine, that is if you really have a fine. Because she was refused a ticket... so it should really only be the fair charge.

whereismysleep · 29/08/2023 09:23

Fieldofbrokenpromises · 29/08/2023 08:43

It sounds like the ticket inspector was a bully, possibly misogynist and/or racist
😂

Why's that funny? If you can buy tickets on that route (as you can on my local trains) then the ticket inspector has discretion about whether to impose a fine but chose not to use it. Why?

The appropriate response to a minor without a ticket who is trying to buy one, would be to sell them a ticket. Or, if the train route would prefer people to buy in advance, to warn the child that they need to buy the ticket at the station or risk a fine in future.

An adult man choosing to fine a minority ethnic child travelling without an adult smacks of bullying to me, and common motivations for that are misogyny or racism. Why do you think it's funny? Do you think misogyny and racism don't exist? That people just make it up?

Andthereyougo · 29/08/2023 09:24

His attitude was well out of order. He should have just allowed her to buy a ticket. His bullying attitude is quite worrying as an official, he seems to have enjoyed scaring her. I’d be reporting him.

Lifeinlists · 29/08/2023 09:27

You said that she intended to buy a ticket on the train. She therefore wasn't trying to avoid paying.He said she couldn't. He was the unreasonable one.

We can buy ours on the train on our line even though there's a ticket machine. If the guard doesn't come along the train you just pay at the station when you get off (barrier there)
He was being a jobs worth with an easy target.

FUPAgirl · 29/08/2023 09:30

I also blame the conductor here, not your DD. I agree that there could well have been unconscious bias or racism at play here. The op regularly sees people buy a ticket on the same train, so why wasn't DD allowed? OP, she sounds like a good girl, so I would take her at her word here. People who are suggesting trailing DD to the station - you do realise they will still insist that a fine is issued? A very unjust fine, so actually no, I don't think OP should do that. Not unless it will help her to settle herself and stop worrying (which would be the case for me tbh).

soundsys · 29/08/2023 09:30

I mean... didn't we all do this as teenagers?! Although from the responses maybe not!

It's very unlikely they'll hunt her down to pay the fine. It's given her a bit of a fright so next time she'll buy a ticket before she gets on. Natural consequences! I wouldn't do anything else about it beyond having that conversation tbh

Mintyt · 29/08/2023 09:30

Lesson learnt buy the ticket, but I think it's good she told you, and good she's been told off and good she has seen you upset. Hopefully this is nipped in the bud so to speak and not done again

Dwappy · 29/08/2023 09:31

UnctuousUnicorns · 29/08/2023 09:19

In fact, now I think on it, people even buy tickets from the staff at the barrier at their destination station (in my case usually Glasgow QS), after their journey's ended. Which is how it should be imo.

How do the staff know where the people got on? Do your train lines all charge the same no matter how many stops people go? Otherwise I think you'll find an awful lot of people only got on the train at "the stop before" they got off.....

HotWaxToTheMax · 29/08/2023 09:32

In most (maybe not all) instances, tickets can be bought via the train company itself or a train line type company. You don't have to have a paper ticket anymore.
I understand not wanting to give out your name and address in front of a carriage of strangers, to a strange man. I may have felt similarly in those circumstances.
Whether you take your daughter to the station (a manned station) or call them and pay is between you and your conscience.
I think your daughter may need a little more instruction on using public transport to avoid a similar problem.

aintnospringchicken · 29/08/2023 09:33

Surely she should have been able to buy a ticket on the train.My local station has a ticket machine but it only accepts card payments.Plenty people just buy their ticket on the train.At peak times there are also station employees to check tickets as you leave the platform or charge you for a ticket if the train has been packed and the ticket inspector hasn't been able to get through the whole train.I don't always buy my ticket at the station as quite often a train is cancelled .

BoogLoaf · 29/08/2023 09:33

Lifeinlists · 29/08/2023 09:27

You said that she intended to buy a ticket on the train. She therefore wasn't trying to avoid paying.He said she couldn't. He was the unreasonable one.

We can buy ours on the train on our line even though there's a ticket machine. If the guard doesn't come along the train you just pay at the station when you get off (barrier there)
He was being a jobs worth with an easy target.

Totally agree with this, sounds like he enjoyed 'scaring' her.

I'd just leave it, I doubt the rail network will be hunting her down.

If you feel really worried you could go ask at the ticket office and give them the scenario and ask what they think you should do?

soundsys · 29/08/2023 09:34

UnctuousUnicorns · 29/08/2023 09:19

In fact, now I think on it, people even buy tickets from the staff at the barrier at their destination station (in my case usually Glasgow QS), after their journey's ended. Which is how it should be imo.

Ha I think we take the same train! Where they're happy to sell you a ticket on the train, unless you're in a tunnel in which case they can't because their ticket machine doesn't have signal 🤣 So you have to get one when you get off at QS

Yoghurtpotsatdawn · 29/08/2023 09:34

The official sounded way OTT in his approach. Would he have been that intimidating to a 6’4 guy covered in tattoos? Probably not.

You were the one who heard/saw your DDs reaction. If this was genuine forgetfulness and If she was genuinely upset and you feel as sure as you can she won’t be doing this again, I’d make it very clear if she does do it again, you will be taking her to the ticket office and the money will be coming out of her allowance. I’d tell her she seems to have panicked and this time you are going to put it down to a one off. And yes, an app on her phone with pre-bought tickets sounds a good idea if she is forgetful. I’m surprised she wasn’t allowed to buy a ticket on the train. He sounds a prat.

Tilllly · 29/08/2023 09:40

Susuwatariandkodama · 29/08/2023 07:31

I’m surprised they didn’t offer her to buy a ticket on the train? Seems odd to jump straight to a penalty, don’t they usually have the little machine to print out tickets or they allow you to pay when you get off the train.

I live in a small town and our railway station has just been revamped.

There is now a ticket machine that you have to use, and if you get on the train without a ticket you are fined. Previously you could buy a ticket on the train

UnctuousUnicorns · 29/08/2023 09:41

Dwappy · 29/08/2023 09:31

How do the staff know where the people got on? Do your train lines all charge the same no matter how many stops people go? Otherwise I think you'll find an awful lot of people only got on the train at "the stop before" they got off.....

Show quote history

I think that's a fair question, but I'm presuming the system works for the most part. When I'm sitting on the train and hear people nearby telling the inspector which station they got on, it's not always the last station; let's face it, the staff would soon cotton on to those shenanigans. I really do think that if you give/trust people the opportunity to be honest, as opposed to treating everyone like potential criminals, then for the large part it pays dividends. Or at least it works well enough for the company to continue working along this policy.

followmyflow · 29/08/2023 09:42

wow its very odd that they gave her a penalty just for that! when i used to take trains every day from a small station, the 2 ticket machines they had were constantly on the blink or in use with a massive queue so i would always just buy my ticket on the train. very harsh!

HoppingPavlova · 29/08/2023 09:52

I really don’t think MI5 are going to come for her. I’d just forget about it personally.

UnctuousUnicorns · 29/08/2023 09:53

Also, plenty of people dash down to the platform to catch the train that's just pulling into the station, bypassing ticket office and machine on the way.

Ceit · 29/08/2023 09:54

I am in agreement with PPs who think your daughter was a victim of racism. There have been cases before of black girls in particular being treated as if adults, and this sounds similar. The conductor's response was out of proportion.

zingally · 29/08/2023 09:57

Schmokin · 29/08/2023 07:11

Can’t remember the last time I went on a train that didn’t have a ticket barrier? Are you sure this is not a series of lies here OP.

I live in a major stop on the London/Birmingham line. The train barrier is OFTEN wide open, particularly outside of commuter hours.

Xmasbaby11 · 29/08/2023 09:59

So two mistakes - not knowing she had to buy a ticket first, and then lying. I would be more upset at the latter, but she needs more life skills - probably just talking through how public transport works or taking her with you.

Really surprised some posters are impressed at her making up a fake name and address. It was her mistake not to have a ticket and she has made it worse by her deceit.