@Cowlover89 I'm delighted for you that you were able to BF and that you're proud of the fact you did. However, do you get that comments like that imply that women who can't (and don't) BF should feel ashamed? Or that you are better than them? Why and how does what you did affect what someone else does for THEIR child? (Other than making you feel massively superior that something so 'natural' worked for you?)
Before I had my DS I did a BF class to get top tips as I was so determined to do it. The woman (health professional) running the course was definitely part of your crew and commented during the course that no one would not be able to BF and she would be at the hospital when we had our babies to get it all up and running smoothly. I had a friend who had recently given birth and her mental health had suffered whilst trying to BF so had moved to FF. She had historically had mental health issues and attempted suicide but it had been under control for many years. Even so, I couldn't help but think how awful a comment like that would have made her feel and said so. (Clearly this woman thought BF should be at the expense of the mother's mental health. Great, a child gets BF but their mother commits suicide after a few months leaving no other choice.) Anyway, I was reassured that at least there would be support to get BF working if there were any issues.
Anyway, when I gave birth vaginally, I missed out on initial skin to skin as I was unconscious due to blood loss. Baby was in special care due to breathing issues and was therefore meant to have breathing assistance which made things harder once I regained consciousness.
Whilst in special care, I attempted BF and he latched but badly. I tried all the tips from the course I had done but no improvement. One midwife tried to help me improve his latch on one of her shifts but it wasn't improving. (No sign of the judgemental health professional I'd done the BF course with the whole time he was in hospital btw.) He'd feed furiously for maybe 50 minutes at a time and then want feeding again 20 minutes later. I went with what he needed.
After 8 days he'd lost 20% of his birth weight and I was so upset. He was poorly and all I could do to help was feed him. And apparently what I was doing wasn't enough to even help him maintain his weight. I was beside myself with worry and in tears constantly. The lead midwife then 'helpfully' demanded to know why he wasn't being given formula and essentially told me I needed to be more responsible and get my child fed. I was made to feel like I was neglecting my child (even though this was the first time we'd been told that he'd lost weight).
I was given the choice of going to bottles or giving my child formula through a tube as I continued to try to BF. I hated the idea of him having the tube but we went with it to continue to support BF (as recommended by the course). Once he was deemed well enough to go home, having regained his lost weight, I continued to BF. When the midwife visited 5 days later, he'd lost 15% of the weight he'd been when he left hospital. She told me in no uncertain terms to continue BF (as that was my choice) but to supplement with formula to ensure he was getting enough. No tubes available at home so onto bottles having taken the medical advice from the people who are supposed to know best.
Once out of hospital, I asked for support from midwives, HVs and by contacting support groups. No one was actually willing to watch my child feeding and to help work out what was going wrong. Covid had an impact on what support was available. I had a massive breakdown one day and commented that I'd happily feed my child liquid gold if that was what it took. I just wanted him to be healthy and thriving.
Supplementing his feeding with the bottle made everything worse as he then didn't WANT to BF and would start screaming within a couple of minutes of starting to feed and would refuse to latch.
Eventually, I allowed him to FF to help him thrive. I continued to express milk (3/4 hourly) for him for 12 months but it didn't cover anywhere near what he needed. I was criticised for expressing for 12 months too. I was told he was 'too old' for milk. My nipples are scarred from the constant pumping that I did.
I genuinely feel like I did everything I could to BF my child but he suffered and because he suffered, I suffered.
As I said, I'm delighted for you that you were able to do it and are proud that your body did that for your child. But just know (and I have no doubt that you'll get a kick from this) that your comments and comments like it make me feel like I have something to be ashamed of, that I should be ashamed of my body and that I let my child down. Bully for you. You also had luck on your side and you'd do well to remember it.