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Original poster

Omg -fat shamed by 3yo

65 replies

unsuresue2 · 27/08/2023 20:16

At my young son football match, supporting from the sidelines - standing at a fence- another mum's little 3 or 4 year old girl comes up to me as innocent as can be and says "have you a baby in your tummy"
As lovely as it would be for a pregnant person- I'm just fat, and since I have had my 3 kids (14, 12, 9) have a tummy at the same position as my bust!
Can't ever bring myself to be annoyed with the beautiful little girl- big wide eyes and blonde curls - such a sweetie - an am on a weight loss journey- currently paying £300 for Oxempic for 4 weeks- so know I need to loose up to 2 stone
My body shape has always been a fat tummy
But I am annoyed and embarrassed by what is very obviously visible to everyone and only the innocent children doesn't have the filter to hide

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 27/08/2023 20:19

A 4 year old asked me if I had a baby in my tummy the other day and the baby was in a sling on my front. His aunt is pregnant and he’s asking most people if they’ve got babies in their tummies - might be something like that!

MorningOclock · 27/08/2023 20:20

Kids can be way too honest and it stings! This would hurt anyone’s feelings but try to focus on the positive which is you are already on a health journey, keep going 🙂

TennisWithDeborah · 27/08/2023 20:21

Ouch. I bet her parent/guardian was mortified.

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 27/08/2023 20:22

My 4 year old DGS asked me why I have "such a squidgy belly"!

Hubblebubble · 27/08/2023 20:22

My 3 year old patted my belly recently and laughed before telling me it was like jelly. Very honest are children

absentseizure · 27/08/2023 20:23

Hello. I get it. She's just innocent and curious but it hurts. I don't think you're being unreasonable to be privately triggered. It's only unreasonable if you acted on it.

It hurts most when we in our own mind feel awful about something. Then if someone says something it resonates too hard.

The only persons opinion that matters on your body is yours. It sounds like you are working on it but it's far from easy and a horrible way to feel. (Speaking from my own experience and possibly projecting, I just want to give you a way out so you don't beat yourself up).

Lots of people make comments about bodies and it can really hurt and sometimes they are innocently curious and sometimes they are just cruel. You can't fight any of that. And it's so easy to ruminate on it.

In time you'll put it to bed in your mind. Try not to let the thoughts of others meddle with what you think. You are the expert on you.

salamithumbs · 27/08/2023 20:23

I remember babysitting as a teenager and a little girl asking me if I had the chicken pox 😭😭😭 no I had teenage spots

Hopinghonestly · 27/08/2023 20:23

Ahh kids are brutal 😂😂 i got called disgusting by a child for wearing a religious item.

Also got asked if i was going through puberty again or had chicken pox as i was looking spotty. Haha

So when a kid says i look good, i know i am on point.

IhearyouClemFandango · 27/08/2023 20:24

My response would be "ah no, it's just cake my love". But I'm not overly fussed so 🤷

Peachespeachesohpeaches · 27/08/2023 20:25

My 5yo wanted to chat about how big my nipples are. In the swimming pool changing room.

Kids, what joy they bring.

legalseagull · 27/08/2023 20:28

In fairness kids think any adult woman is massive. I'm slim(ish) but my young kids still tell me I have a big bum and big belly. Compared to them I have I suppose!

Krustykrabpizza · 27/08/2023 20:30

I got asked that when I was a size 10, just an unflattering dress. I wouldn't overthink it

Flickersy · 27/08/2023 20:32

That isn't "fat-shaming".

That's just a little girl who doesn't yet understand the complexities of social mores.

If you think it's shaming, that's on you.

SeulementUneFois · 27/08/2023 20:33

Please don't beat yourself up OP...
I've a "boyish" figure :( and sadly this is true for me even as a size 8-10 - "have a tummy at the same position as my bust!".
(Not a stealth brag, my profile view upsets me)

TheIsleOfTheLost · 27/08/2023 20:33

One of my children and two separate adults have asked me in the last year. Nope, just fat. Stomach definitely extends past boots these days.

Littleoxforddictionary · 27/08/2023 20:37

At aged 3 my dd said to me while I was in the shower " your leg is so big even a lion couldn't eat it"
I'm quite fat but to be fair I think a lion could eat my leg if it really wanted to.

Tiddlywinkly · 27/08/2023 20:38

Young children say what they see. No shaming intended. I used to work at a nursery and a little girl told me I had wonky teeth. It hurt, but well, they were. I eventually decided to fix it with aligners. It bothers you and you're doing some about it op.

StaySpicy · 27/08/2023 20:42

Littleoxforddictionary · 27/08/2023 20:37

At aged 3 my dd said to me while I was in the shower " your leg is so big even a lion couldn't eat it"
I'm quite fat but to be fair I think a lion could eat my leg if it really wanted to.

Sorry, but this actually made me laugh! Your phrasing is perfect! 😆

I have a tummy as big as my bust and have been known to hold it lovingly in order to be offered a seat on public transport... 🙈 (In my defence, I'd just done a day-shift and my feet hurt!)

NannyGythaOgg · 27/08/2023 20:46

I occasionally work as a passenger assistant on special school bus runs.
One little sweetheart, aged 5 or 6 asked me why I had got boobies on my arms? My wonderfully squidgy bingo wing arms had her fascinated.

ToWhitToWhoo · 27/08/2023 20:50

It may be nothing to do with thinking you're fat. I've known children, who, after being told that their mum or another relative had a baby in her tummy, found the concept so fascinating that they asked everyone, in one case even including men, if they had a baby in their tummy!

I'm told that, when I was a bit older than that, I asked all our adult female visitors if they were pregnant! It was done with good intentions: my friend had come down with German measles, so I was a contact, and I'd heard that pregnant women shouldn't get it. Must have been a bit embarrassing , though! (I did not get German measles, as it turned out.)

Young children don't always even associate expecting a baby with weight gain, unless they've seen their mother in the late stages of pregnancy.

AnneofRedGables · 27/08/2023 21:00

ToWhitToWhoo · 27/08/2023 20:50

It may be nothing to do with thinking you're fat. I've known children, who, after being told that their mum or another relative had a baby in her tummy, found the concept so fascinating that they asked everyone, in one case even including men, if they had a baby in their tummy!

I'm told that, when I was a bit older than that, I asked all our adult female visitors if they were pregnant! It was done with good intentions: my friend had come down with German measles, so I was a contact, and I'd heard that pregnant women shouldn't get it. Must have been a bit embarrassing , though! (I did not get German measles, as it turned out.)

Young children don't always even associate expecting a baby with weight gain, unless they've seen their mother in the late stages of pregnancy.

Yes I was coming on to say this - my 3 year old is going through a phase of asking everyone this - men, women, kids, fat, thin, it doesn’t matter. She even asked the man who was fitting our kitchen last week 🙈

So I really wouldn’t take it to heart, it’s just one of those things kids get obsessed with!

MargaretThursday · 27/08/2023 21:02

When I was pregnant with dd2, dd1 went through a short time of telling people that "mummy had a baby in her tummy and daddy has one in each leg".

He wasn't fat even.

JenniferBarkley · 27/08/2023 21:09

Honestly at 3 I don't know that it's even necessarily connected to her perception of the size of your belly (smaller than mine I'm sure Flowers, my similarly aged DC tell me it's nice and soft and love to catch a glimpse of my stretchmarks Hmm). I suspect someone they know is pregnant or they're learning where babies come from and have a bit of an obsession.

Allelbowsandtoes · 27/08/2023 21:15

I think its a real overreaction to call this fat shaming, although I get that you felt bad.
This kid wasn't trying to shame you, at that age she most likely doesn't realise that having any excess body fat is seen as a bad thing by society (and long may that continue!)
I know its hard but I hope you can appreciate the incredible thing your body has done by birthing three lives. You might not look how you did before but look at what you've achieved!

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 27/08/2023 21:19

An old woman once asked me when my baby was due! I was about 2 stone overweight and mortified!

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