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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it their fault or mine!?

60 replies

ChangedQuickly · 27/08/2023 16:47

We have a font and back garden that is joined together, so there is a secure fence that goes around the whole property. We let our 2 dogs out there at various points of the day and at this particular time, there was a lady walking past with her dog and her dog was barking a lot standing on the fence, which obviously meant my dogs went over there and then her dog seems to have pushed his head under the fence, which in turn has moved the box I had there blocking a whole that is just a little bit too big for my liking (it is hard to see what exactly happened, as it is a ring doorbell and quite far away but that is exactly what seems to have happened) she pulled her dog, so his head was back from under the fence and then my little dog pushed her way under the fence! She is not a fan of people and when the lady kept trying to get close, she was running further and further away. The lady did walk around my property but I'm not sure why she didn't just come in the gate and ring the doorbell to let us know? DH says that it is probably because our other dog was out and she didn't want to risk that one getting out as well/was worried it was aggressive (it is a husky) but I think he is being extremely understanding.

Anyway, after walking around the fence/property and doing some half ass attempts at getting the dog back, she just walked off. Didn't knock at a neighbour, didn't do anything! I was a bit shocked as she had a dog herself and would surely not want someone to just leave her dog out. We only realised this is what happened when we called the dogs in and obviously she was missing. Proceeded was a frantic search for hours, followed by a call that she had been handed into the vets with a leg injury. Who is actually at fault here? We are very shaken up about the whole thing but very thankful she is ok, as it could have been a hell of a lot worse.

OP posts:
ThereIbledit · 27/08/2023 18:07

That's the thing, I can accept the fence should have been more secure than how it was, even if it was her dog that was having it's head under to move it. However, to just walk away when my poor dog is out is quite cold hearted, it clearly got injured and I just think that was really horrible

It sounds like she didn't just walk away though. She tried to catch your dog. As she had her own dog with her and was almost certainly a bit worried about the husky getting to her dog through the hole in the fence or her attempts to catch your dog making your dog more scared. Maybe she went to ring the police to alert them, maybe she went and put a post on Facebook. Strangers aren't always good and logical in an emergency - which brings us back to it was your responsibility for your fence to be secure. If a dog could push it from the other side, I'm afraid that's not secure.

The dogs are in a secure garden, I am allowed to not be watching them and it would have still been secure if the other dog didn't move the box, which my dogs don't

It wasn't a secure garden, if the box could have been moved. Kids wanting to make a fuss of your dogs could have moved it. Teenagers being little shits could have moved it. A fox, or your husky could have seen something small and squeaky to chase and scrabbled at the box.... or, you know, a dog wanting to get at your dogs could have moved it.

Take it as an expensive and painful lesson learned. Secure the fence better. I do hope your dog will be okay. xxx

ThreeLittleDots · 27/08/2023 18:09

I think your fault, unfortunately, as your fence wasn't adequate.

Spirallingdownwards · 27/08/2023 18:10

Howdoesitworkagain · 27/08/2023 18:01

Sorry if that wasn’t clear, I meant she said in the OP that it was on camera - she said it was on her ring doorbell.

Yes first she says it's hard to see what happens then suggests it's clear. Although I did miss the ring doorbell thing. Later she says it's literally on camera. I think the story changes because she has seen everyone saying it remains her fault for having an unsecured garden and not supervising her dogs.

SoupDragon · 27/08/2023 18:13

The dogs are in a secure garden

No they aren't. There's a dog sized hole in the fence! Putting something in front of the hole that can be pushed away doesn't make it secure.

Beautiful3 · 27/08/2023 18:13

It's your fault because there's a hole in the fence, its your dog. I have a dog but I'm scared of large dogs, some wouldn't have entered your garden with my dog, because of your husky. I'd fix that hole ASAP. I understand why you're upset though and I hope your dog is okay x

piercedears · 27/08/2023 18:27

I think this. It seems like she did make an attempt to retrieve your dog, but that's as far as she managed at the time.
It's easy with hindsight to say she could have done this or that, but sometimes when something happens people can get a bit flustered and overwhelmed and don't think as logically as in other circumstances.

HerMammy · 27/08/2023 18:42

At the end of the day, it is your responsibility to ensure your garden is secure and not boxes being used to block gaps.
Personally, I would have rang your bell, but why did you not go out i the commotion?

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 27/08/2023 18:52

Skyisbluegrassisgreen · 27/08/2023 17:32

But her fence was secure before the other lady’s dog made it not secure. Why is nobody picking up on that? The other lady allowed her dog to interfere with the op’s property and then just left her small dog running free without knocking on the door. Totally selfish and irresponsible.

It was a movable structure that moved. Anything could have move it. I have a dog and a gate, I'm responsible for ensuring my dog is safe so I've ensured no one can just open the gate and risk leaving it open. There were better options for a temp fix of the fence for example chicken wire. Part of caring for animals is ensuring they are safe from the stupidity of others. I'm at no point saying that the woman behaved well but that the ultimate responsibility always lies with the owner.

Doingmybest12 · 27/08/2023 18:57

I don't think whose fault it was really matters ,but yes it was your job to make your garden secure . But I'd of thought anyone who knew a dog had escaped from a garden would knock on and let the home owner know. But it sounds like she did look around and maybe she thought you'd have noticed and come out by the time she was leaving of you were reasonable people.

LemonLight · 27/08/2023 19:13

It's your fault, you are responsible for securing your garden and sticking a box in the way of a hole is not securing your garden. Your dog your fence your fault!

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