Does anyone else wonder if they have dyspraxia?

[Spinelli99]

It's something I've questioned my entire life. I've failed 9 driving tests, a lot of it was due to nerves but I feel that I've always struggled with coordination.
I work in social care and sometimes struggle with things like hoisting, positioning slings/pads on people. I dread the double up calls because I know sometimes the other person will get frustrated at me. Sometimes when people give me verbal instructions I will get confused.
They'll ask me 'can you grab that thing off the shelf' and I'll be looking at the wrong shelf and they'll be like no up, left, down, right, whatever.
If I ask for directions to a place and someone sprouts verbal directions at me it's pointless, I need to see it written down.
I know some people think I'm bit dozey/in the clouds. I've always been considered as intelligent but a bit 'not with it '.
I don't do it on purpose and I do try to concentrate but it makes me feel ashamed. It does make me wonder about dyspraxia and seeking a diagnosis, does anyone else have this or suspect it?

I am bad with my hands (couldn't cut material until I was at secondary, had trouble with keys until my twenties) but am not particularly clumsy so had earlier decided I don't have it.
My sense of direction is also shit and I need time to figure out left and right.
Things like carrying something with someone else are really difficult. Like you, I have a hard time with 'move it up', 'go to the left'.

Yes I had the same issue at school in woodwork lessons, cutting things and so on :(
Sometimes other people don't really understand and get frustrated quickly.

I thought I had it but passed my driving test first time.

otherwise I'm dreadful, can't walk and chew gum at the same time. Physically inept. Would love to be able to do something about it.

I'm dyspraxic and I recognise all of those issues (plus sensory processing and social issues) Unless you are going back into education there isn't really any point in chasing up a diagnosis but the dyspraxia foundation has a lot of information on their Web site.

I am hypermobile, constantly dropping things & bumping into stuff, have a hard time making objects 'work', poor spatial awareness, no sense of direction, get my right/left muddled, get defeated by practicalities, poor coordination...yes, I think I may have dyspraxia.

Yes, I've always been accused of not paying attention, day dreaming, being clumsy, having my head in the clouds....... Some people my mother even suggesting I do it on purpose to piss them off or get attention.
They don't seem to get that my brain and body do not work well together and that the attention that brings is not positive or wanted and certainly not sought after! And I try every day for it not to happen and it's as (if not more) frustrating for me as it is for other people, they only see what affects them, not the constant bangs and scrapes that I have from when I'm alone or just don't react so no one notices.

I have in my 40's, managed to pass my driving test (after soooo many attempts when I was younger, I've now managed it as I'm older) but I'm pretty sure that's because I've managed to improve a bit with coordination and have my anxiety about it under control - because I'm older and care less about other people's reactions when something happens in general.

But yes it's very wearing being constantly laughed at or berated for something you try very hard to not let affect other people. I discussed a diagnosis with my Dr and did some research but really, there's no benefit to a diagnosis now at my age, it won't stop it happening, there's not really anything in the way of treatment and it won't stop people being amused or frustrated at me.

I have found that things that require using both sides of your body to do has helped me, riding horses and being around them for years helped because you have to use both sides of your body. I have no idea why!

I'm 58 and got a diagnosis recently. My main reason for seeking the diagnosis was to get reasonable accommodations at work. I've been asking them to sort out a noise issue (it's a structural issue that would require a small amount of money to fix) due to my sensory issues but they've ignored me. They now have to sort it.

My son was diagnosed with dyspraxia at 12. His experience was similar to yours - always looked to others like he wasn't paying attention and wasn't concentrating when his brain just couldn't make sense of the directions he was being given.

He now has strategies to help him and he's largely fine.

I'd get it assessed if I were you. It's true that there is very little (ie no) support but work must make reasonable adjustments in law and you can't be penalised for something that is linked to your disability if they haven't made those adjustments.

My son works ft and knows exactly what he needs. He's never had any problems from pt Saturday work to ft career in getting these met. Good luck.

Very interesting. We’re having our teenage daughter assessed at the moment. Some of the things you mention ring true for me too - multiple attempts to pass driving test, no spatial awareness, can’t retain physical instructions eg at the gym.

This is very much me too. Can’t get left and right- I went to the dentist recently and she asked me to turn my head to the right, of course I got flustered and turned the wrong way. Can’t walk and drink/chew gum, have to hold my breath to wash my face, don’t even bother to ask for directions as I wouldn’t remember past the first point and so much more.

Thank you for your support, and I hope that everyone posting here is able to access support.

Unfortunately, there is no support!

Like I said, my son was diagnosed at 12 and the paediatrician said that there was nothing they could offer other than a diagnosis. If he'd been younger, OH might have been able to offer some strategies bit since we'd already established our own that were working there wasn't any point.

It's the other stuff though. He got 25% extra time in his GCSEs, A Levels etc but the biggest thing has been being able to tell work what he needs and have it accommodated.

Can you go explain a bit more about the actual adjustments that have been made for him at work?

I have hypermobility and dyspraxia.

Took me seven goes to pass driving test and I still can’t ride a bike. I have zero sense of direction. I have to look at the undersides of my shoes and really concentrate to work out which one goes on which foot.

At work I have reasonable adjustments so that I am allowed to write prose reports on things, rather than the preferred method hideous action plans where I have no idea what to write in which stupid box.

I spent my childhood and much of adulthood thinking I was a bit of a failure, although being academically very able made up for that I guess.

Not dyspraxia. But I think I may have dyslexia. My written grammar and spelling are awful. Even though I know how to spell and have excellent grammar.

I can't see typos and spelling mistakes on a screen. When I see people have I am dyslexic etc on their email signature. I can see they do the same mistakes as me. I've struggled all my life. I'm thinking of paying for an adult diagnosis.

I think you should pay for an adult diagnosis and see if you have dyspracja. It sounds like it.

Tbh, I don't know specifically. He's 25 now so deals with it himself.

I know that one thing he does though is explain that he can't retain information or follow complex instructions. So he takes a notebook to every staff meeting even when there's only little bits of info. He then meets up with the manager afterwards to clarify he's understood and get processes broken down into simple steps without unnecessary words.

He needs all the bits that other people just fill in for themselves. And he knows now that he needs to ask for them and deserves not to he made to feel stupid for seeking clarification on things everyone else has taken for granted.

He uses the example of following a recipe when he was young if they don't understand. He'd get stuck at the first step of 'sieve 250g of flour into a bowl' because he didn't have 250g of flour...

They respond with patience if he has to seek further clarification and he has more time to complete some tasks if he needs it. He just needs to let them know. That's the main thing for him. He's not required to walk up and downstairs, tie his shoelaces or ride a bike at work so that's less of an issue!

He has always put off learning to drive because it will take him longer. I suppose the next hurdle is that, to progress at work, he needs a driving licence... unfortunately, I don't think there is a reasonable adjustment that can be made for that. We'll have to see.

Tbh, a lot of it is just stuff he's realised for himself and stuff he does himself - lots of routine, trial runs to a new workplace etc to familiarise himself with the location/layout/route to get there, alarms with reminders, lists, not being afraid to speak up., never leaving anything to the last minute or trying to wing it. He can't.

Anything to avoid the avoidable flusters which mean he's better able to cope with the unexpected stuff.

I have dyspraxia. I couldn't learn to drive, I don't wear clothes with buttons or zips and only wear laces in my summer trainers.
I struggle with organising my thoughts and processes. I ask for deadlines or expectations not to be changed last minute because I just can't handle it. I am also very untidy so have just spent a fortune on organising storage for my new classroom.

I am a teacher and always tell my children and their parents that I have dyspraxia. I have had parents with their own concerns about their child cry when they realise being neurodivergent is not the end of the world. I have a masters degree and a pretty good life. I won't go higher than a class teacher though as I wouldn't cope with admin. I am just me.

Happy to share anything else that is helpful. When I was diagnosed it was called clumsy child syndrome and the world has moved on since then. I did once get called lazy on here because I can't drive but after nearly causing a bad accident I know I can't drive.

Anyway it's ok being neurodivergent you can find adaptations but you also need to stand up for yourself when things get tough.

I'm dyspraxic, I was diagnosed two years ago at 31. I'm also autistic, have ADHD and hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, and I was misdiagnosed as dyslexic but that never made any sense to me - turns out I have Irlen Syndrome. I read and write very well but Irlen Syndrome is a visual processing disorder common in autistic people.

As a kid, the signs were there but nobody investigated. I would walk into door frames as a toddler. I couldn't ride a bike without stabilisers until I was about 12. I couldn't tie my laces so had to wear velcro trainers and was teased horribly for it.

It took me 7 years of on/off lessons to learn to drive. I passed my test (in an automatic) on the third attempt.

I have zero sense of direction, can't read a map, can't read an analogue clock unless it has all of the numbers (i.e. the clocks with dots at 12, 3, 6 and 9 are useless to me), can't estimate distance/size/volume. I often choose a tupperware thinking "that should just about fit", then it turns out my leftovers fill about 1/5 of it

I can't visualise how thing fit together so I do things upside down or back-to-front a lot. Knowing left from right isn't an automatic process for me and I have to think about it every time. DH says there are times when he directs me to look left and he watches my eyes immediately go to the right

My working memory is shocking. Just this week I was on a call with a colleague and I agreed to type as he talked. I was so embarrassed by how many times I asked him to repeat himself because I can only hold a few words in my head at a time. Verbal instructions are a no-go because I'll have forgotten them before you finish speaking.

My hand-eye coordination is shite and it gets worse when I'm tired. Trying to climb out of my shoes and jeans at the end of a long day is a sight to behold You should see me trying to put my key in the door - it can take a full minute to line it up with the keyhole. I can't style my own hair because not only do I not have the dexterity, I can't work backwards in the mirror. Between my dyspraxia, pain/dislocations in my finger joints from EDS, and newly-diagnosed carpal tunnel, things just slip out of my hands before I've even noticed my grip has gone.

I'm 58 and got a diagnosis recently

Can I ask how @OchonAgusOchonOh ?
I am certain my (adult) dd is dyspaxic but the GPP didn't know where to refer her to. then Covid hit and obviously all resources were diverted, but she would still like the diagnosis. How did you get the assessment done ?

I have it.

I was diagnosed about 2/3 years ago.

I'd never heard of it.

I still don't really know what it is.!

I always wondered if I had it. Very rarely walk through the centre of a gap. Usually clobber what's on the edges. I'm very clumsy.
I struggle with analogue clocks- to the amusement of my workmates. Shoelaces always undone unless triple knotted.
I know which is left and right unless you throw another action into the mix.
Can't retain information.
My mum tells me the school health visitor thought I was a battered child, because of the bruises, until she saw me in action at my five year old check.

Other people getting frustrated is the worst. I find it so arrogant as everyone has things they don’t do very well. Yet somehow it’s okay to tut and huff at people because they’re not dexterous.

@UsingChangeofName - I'm in Ireland so probably a different process. I went to an OT who specialises in adult dyspraxia. I went private so didn't need to go through the GP. It cost €400 but I got half back on my health insurance and will get more back on my tax.

I don't have an official diagnosis as for that I would need to go to the GP to rule out a neurological cause. I didn't bother with that as no need. If work want that, they can send me to the occupational health doctor.

I would suggest googling adult diagnosis dyspraxia and you will hopefully find out what department etc you need. Alternatively if she's OK with going private, she will find a suitable OT. Or she could try contacting an OT and ask what they recommend.

My legs are covered in bruises from my bike too ! I keep managing to whack my legs when I'm manouvering it!
Yes it's difficult when people have little patience with you, "No, there!!" "no, that way!!"