To refuse to look after pets

[Alf1]

My husbands ex and their child together are going on holiday for two weeks and their pet care has apparently fallen through.

We are now being asked to take them, it's an older dog and two guinea pigs.

My husband has said it's up to me as he works all week, even staying away overnight for 3 of the nights with work, and I'm at home with our baby.

I've said no. She's now saying she will have to cancel the holiday and acting as though it's our fault. She has family but apparently all of them are working so can't do it and we're (I'm the only option).

DH feeling guilty in case DSD misses out on a holiday, I think she'll sort it she's just putting the pressure on the easiest candidate.

I don't want the responsibility of a random dog I don't know to walk twice a day with a pram and dog shit to clean up in the garden and two guinea pigs to clean out etc . We have specifically held off getting a pet ourselves as it would be too much right now.

I also know what his ex can be like and feel like if I say yes and open the floodgates we'll be asked every time.

Surely if you decide to get pets this is one of the consequences? It's not as easy to go away and you have to have solid plans in place (her existing plan sounded a bit flakey at best).

Yanbu.

If you don't want to do it then don't feel guilty especially as it will be you looking after the pets and not your husband. She can put the dog in kennels and there are people who look after small animals, someone on our local Facebook group does this.

I don't think you're unreasonable. The guinea pigs would be less work than the dog, so not sure if you can do one but not the other. Surely there is a kennel? She probably just doesn't want to have to pay.

Our guinea pigs go to a lovely lady who does small pet sitting. I think it's about £6 per night for the two. We pay for this so we don't have to ask a friend to clean them out (though we do ask a neighbour to feed our cat, but that's less work)

When are they going OP?

They need to pay for boarding.

Absolutely not.

Do not allow your husband to guilt you.

Not your problem.

YANBU in the slightest.

Your DH can take the time off work himself to care for the animals if he feels that bad 🙄

There is no way I would be taking on some random unknown dog when I had a baby in the house. The Guinea pigs I would probably help with but not both.

YANBU, especially with the dog.

She's not out of pet care options, she's out of FREE pet care options. She needs to face the fact that she either pays for boarding/pet sitting or cannot go. It's not OP who is forcing the holiday cancellation, it's the pet owner.

I agree with this. Plus who would want a random dog with a baby?

It would be an absolute no to the random dog. I might agree to the guinea pigs though for the sake of DSS (although YWNBU to say no to this also).

Yes this was my thought. But YANBU to refuse the Guinea pigs too if you just don't want to.

For me it would depend on how far away the holiday was, why the previous plans fell through and what other options the pet owner had already tried as to whether I'd help.

Flight at 5pm today, they have to leave for the airport in 2hrs and the original pet sitter, who had agreed to do it 6 months ago, was admitted to hospital last night because they fell and broke a hip and the the pet owners have called all the local kennels from the second they opened this morning and there's no spaces? I'd say yes because the pet owner is asking as a last resort in an emergency situation, but DP would be doing most of the caring when they weren't at work.

Flight in a week's time and the original pet sitter, who was only asked last week, has changed their mind because they've realised they are doing overtime at work that week so can't care for the animals properly and the pet owner hasn't even bothered trying to find a kennel/paid pet sitter first? 100% my answer would be no.

My partner's ex has asked similar of him.

He said no.

no way

there really are some cheeky fuckers about aren't there?🙄

Do they not have dog boarding and pet sitting where she lives?

Fuck that shit. She just wants the easy and free option.

Tell your dh to grow up otherwise he'll be manipulated by her forever.

Enjoy baby time.

I would probably agree to the guinea pigs but not the dog. Then she could try and find a kennel to take the dog.

Not saying that you are obliged to do anything though.

If it’s an elderly dog, did it used to be your husbands dog too that his ex just kept?

I think I'd say yes to the guineas but definite no to the dog.

Can't blame her for asking if the dog was previously your husband's, but the pressure goes to him not you.

Was the older dog bought when dh and his wife were together? If so it kind of is dh’s responsibility too.
However it’s not your responsibility. Perhaps he should contribute to the cost of boarding.

I would only because l don't think kennels are suitable for dogs and l love being outdoors as well as around animals, so l would get something positive out of it as well. I already have a dog and other pets so it wouldn't make much difference to me.

The dog … was it acquired when your partner was with the ex? If so I’d view it as a shared responsibility of your ex. Obviously not your circus but if so he needs to help sort the issue.

personally if they really were out of options I couldn’t see the child miss out on a holiday.

if you really don’t want to take the pets then get on Rover and make some enquiries.

This.

I'd maybe do the guinea pigs as a one off (though agree with others YANBU to say no), I wouldn't look after a dog though!