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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is Jenni Hermoso the turning point?

53 replies

passivehumming · 26/08/2023 00:55

Although I was disappointed that the Lionesses did not win the Women's World Cup I am in awe of Jenni and the unfolding situation in Spain.

I truly think she is inspirational for so many women/girls and has taken time out to re-think her initial acceptance of an abusive situation and then come out to say "she was pressurised to diminish the abuse she felt"

It is a fascinating story unravelling there:

Jenni Hermoso ‘did not consent’ to be kissed by Rubiales

Spain forward rejects FA chief’s claims as ‘categorically false’ as the national women’s team refuses to play until he resigns

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/aug/25/spain-womens-football-team-will-refuse-to-play-until-rubiales-quits

OP posts:
sparepantsandtoothbrush · 26/08/2023 10:47

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 26/08/2023 10:17

You wouldn’t think it was a turning point if you were on the other thread, it’s an absolute bin fire. Depressing how many women seem to think this is a non issue.

Where's the other thread?

ZorbaTheHoarder · 26/08/2023 10:54

I reckon Rubiales has less than a week left in the job before the government forces him out - and rightly so! His arrogance and sense of entitlement are unbelievable.

The drama Rubiales has created and is pursuing is really not good for Spain's image - kudos to the women's team for refusing to play until this is resolved.

WeetabixTowels · 26/08/2023 10:57

I’m just furious that a woman is assaulted and has come out to say she didn’t consent to the assault, and she is going to be sued. Fucking disgusting. Of course she didn’t consent to being kissed on the lips by that absolute twat of a creep. Spain were amazing and their win is tarnished by an assault and victim blaming

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 26/08/2023 11:04

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 26/08/2023 10:47

Where's the other thread?

In Chat.
Apparently anyone slightly concerned by this just has a ‘feminist agenda’ according to one, presumably, woman.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 26/08/2023 11:06

Weetabixtowels I think every team member who supports her, by refusing to play, is being sued too

melj1213 · 26/08/2023 11:13

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 26/08/2023 10:12

Do you think we should just ignore it because they won the WC?

"Yes she was assaulted but but let's brush it under the carpet because they won"

I think this is the perfect opportunity for sexual assault in women in sport to be talked about. It couldn't be a bigger platform really with the whole world watching

Nobody has said it should be just brushed under the carpet but I see what the previous poster means ... The Spanish women's team have just won their first world cup and instead of everyone enjoying the win, all of the attention is on Rubiales.

Obviously we want to highlight the totally unacceptable behaviour Rubiales has shown to the players and the world but that doesn't mean that people can't be sad that the effort and achievements of this team - despite the adversity they've had these last few years with the coach and federation - are not getting the attention they deserve.

The Spanish football federation is a massive den of mysoginistic vipers who think the women's game is not as important as the men's game (and even the men's side of the RFEF is an absolute shambles) and this is not news to anyone who watches women's football regularly or has seen all of the fall out the women's team have dealt with in recent history. As much as I love seeing the house of cards finally crumbling, I hate that it's at the cost of allowing the players - the ones who put their hearts and souls onto that pitch - to finally have their moment of triumph because they got that trophy despite the RFEF, not because of it.

Compare it to the men's first WC win in 2010 (or even the Euros win in 2008) where the celebrations were headline news in all of th Spanish sports newspapers, all of the attention was on the players, their families and enjoying the achievement for weeks ... the women's team deserve that too but they aren't getting to have their moment in the spotlight because the spotlight is on Rubiales and the clusterfuck that is the Spanish federation

Gothambutnotahamster · 26/08/2023 11:15

He's an arrogant arsehole as are the federation who are standing by him. I don't understand what they've accused her of lying about? It's all on camera!

I really hope the whole of the Spanish teams refuse to play whilst he's in charge (both men & women).

I have a very bad feeling that he'll get away with it though. The situation with the coach showed they're untouchable men in charge & can do what they like. He'll ride this out IMHO Angry

Sakura7 · 26/08/2023 11:16

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 26/08/2023 10:12

Do you think we should just ignore it because they won the WC?

"Yes she was assaulted but but let's brush it under the carpet because they won"

I think this is the perfect opportunity for sexual assault in women in sport to be talked about. It couldn't be a bigger platform really with the whole world watching

I don't think that's what the poster was inferring.

It is ridiculous and really deflating for the players that after such an amazing achievement, all the focus is now on this creep and his vile behaviour. That is completely his fault, and the Spanish FA's fault for supporting him.

Of course it's right that Jenni Hermoso and her teammates stand up to this, and they should be supported 100%. I still feel sad for her and the rest of the team that their win has been tarnished by a man's disgusting behaviour.

The audacity of the Spanish FA threatening to sue the players is really quite something, when there is clear video footage of a player being assaulted.

AussieCallil · 26/08/2023 11:18

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 26/08/2023 10:12

Do you think we should just ignore it because they won the WC?

"Yes she was assaulted but but let's brush it under the carpet because they won"

I think this is the perfect opportunity for sexual assault in women in sport to be talked about. It couldn't be a bigger platform really with the whole world watching

Absolutely agree with you! Read my 2 previous posts above.

WeetabixTowels · 26/08/2023 11:18

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 26/08/2023 11:06

Weetabixtowels I think every team member who supports her, by refusing to play, is being sued too

Wow.

What can we do to show our support?He would not have kissed a man.

He assaulted her

billy1966 · 26/08/2023 11:25

Baldieheid · 26/08/2023 09:09

I find his grabbing of her head really disturbing.

He might as well have been forcing her face into his crotch.

Unbelievable that you can be assaulted on camera and then sued for naming it.

He has brought huge shame on Spain.

CurlyTop1980 · 26/08/2023 11:27

The Spanish Team's moment was ruined by a man. You can see from the footage that she didn't consent. I saw a report this morning that the Spanish FA want Jenni investigated for lying about not consenting to the "kiss". Instead of sacking him. I hope the Spanish players stick by their word to not play or train with the national team till this is resolved.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 26/08/2023 11:35

Ah ok. My apologies. I'm wound up from having these conversations on Twitter and misinterpreted what you meant

something2say · 26/08/2023 11:38

What has galled me as well about this is the comment he made that 'when you are president of whatever, you have to be more careful.'

I have not quoted it correctly BUT - he is saying, I could have done this easily and without issue had I not occupied my professional position.

And he is right - this sort of thing happens to women day in day out and to him, the only reason not to do it is because someone in his position etc. I mean the cognitive dissonance that he is failing to comprehend.

AussieCallil · 26/08/2023 11:41

No worries, @sparepantsandtoothbrush 🙂

I know how you feel...some of the Twitter stuff is rage-inducing.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 26/08/2023 14:31

billy1966 · 26/08/2023 11:25

Unbelievable that you can be assaulted on camera and then sued for naming it.

He has brought huge shame on Spain.

Such is the perpetual, gaslighting misogyny of MANkind.

Didn't happen / you're making it up / you're exaggerating / Give over / get over it, love / cheer up, love etc.

The poor Menz, eh? They can't say or do anything these days can they?

Oh, wait...

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 26/08/2023 14:43

I think the really interesting thing about this case is his attempted "fight back".

It's pretty obvious to anyone who has seen that video that she did not consent to being kissed. The way he held her head was just awful. So he can't really deny what happened.

And yet he is attempting to make the case that he has done nothing wrong. So presumably, his only real argument is that it was his right to do what he did and that "consent" was somehow implied because he had that right.

It's simultaneously shocking that he can behave in such a shameless manner (and that others can support his shameless behaviour) and fascinating to see it all play out. I have absolutely no doubt that he will lose the argument in the end. It's just a matter of how long it takes. But while it continues to play out, it provides a very interesting insight into the sense of right and entitlement that these vile men still have with regard to women's bodies.

I am sorry that it has overshadowed their victory, but it's a debate that has to happen. The most depressing thing about it all is the number of women who seem to think that the whole thing should be minimised. Hermoso has said unequivocally that she did not consent to the kiss and that it made her uncomfortable. How any woman on the planet can fail to stand in solidarity with her is completely baffling to me.

Standingchair1 · 28/08/2023 17:53

Jenni did not appear to have any problem with the kiss at the time. Perhaps the two of them have kissed on the lips previously?

GrandTheftWalrus · 28/08/2023 18:06

Standingchair1 · 28/08/2023 17:53

Jenni did not appear to have any problem with the kiss at the time. Perhaps the two of them have kissed on the lips previously?

Nice victim blaming. Doesn't matter if people have kissed before. No means no.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 28/08/2023 18:54

Standingchair1 · 28/08/2023 17:53

Jenni did not appear to have any problem with the kiss at the time. Perhaps the two of them have kissed on the lips previously?

So what if they have?
As someone said earlier Consent isn’t transferable. Not transferable from one women who ‘I wouldn’t be bothered by this’ to another who is bothered by it. Or by one woman who was ok with it yesterday but it is not ok with it today.
You not understanding consent is totally irrelevant.

dontletsaskforthemoon · 29/08/2023 09:47

This morning I read that Luis' mother has locked herself in a local chapel/church and is on hunger strike because of the way her son has been treated. His sister has called out the media by saying they've treated Luis dreadfully.

My jaw hit the floor when I read that.

People wonder why women don't report stuff like this when there are women who seem to support him/his actions. His assault on Jenni was televised across the world and she has said in a statement that the kiss was not consensual. So surely clear grounds for criminal charges? Yet the governing body claim she has lied and considered action against her and that misogynistic twat is allowed to hold press conferences so he can 'clarify' events (spout more lies you mean) and lie that the kiss was consensual.

It is a shame that the Spanish Ladies Football Team didn't have their 'moment' to celebrate but at least it has brought their concerns into the headlines and I hope it stays there until every single last one of the sexist and misogynistic individuals are outed and exposed. It'll be a cold day in hell when that happens though eh?

KajsaKavat · 29/08/2023 10:00

no I don’t think it’s a turning moment but I think it is showing us all how many people are behind her and when it happens next fewer women will question if it really was a big deal or not.

Abhannmor · 29/08/2023 10:05

The Sevilla men's team have come out in support of Jenni Hermoso I see. Se Acabó - it's over for this management I think.