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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just give up driving

29 replies

Llemonn · 25/08/2023 23:42

I have been driving about 8 years now but tbh I just give up after today. I feel as though there is so many drivers rushing, trying to intimidate.

Today, I had my 2 young children in the car. Was in a new city I’ve not drove in before and was a bit stressed and unfortunately I got in the wrong lane approaching a round about with traffic lights. We were not close to the traffic lights as there was a row of traffic in both lanes and I realised well before the round about that I was not in the right lane. I indicated and a car let me in to the lane I needed to be in. I hardly held up the man behind me in the wrong lane I was in as I was able to merge into the other lane quickly and we all got through on the green light. However, he beeped 3 times and stuck his middle finger out the window at me. Just feel like my confidence on the roads has been knocked.

OP posts:
AnIndianWoman · 25/08/2023 23:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

ErrolTheDragon · 25/08/2023 23:48

Don't let a rude bully put you off. I bet he makes mistakes sometimes too if he's somewhere unfamiliar.

Wizzoh · 25/08/2023 23:49

I don't drive, so I'm genuinely asking here, my husband did the same the other day and got beeped at... But I thought shouldn't he have just gone round the roundabout again and into the right lane rather than trying to cross lanes at the lights?

Original poster
Llemonn · 25/08/2023 23:53

@Wizzohyes tbh I would have done that usually but the wrong lane I was in was for turning left only and then off the roundabout completely and I wasn’t sure where it went. I indicated to go into the correct lane as we were not near the lights yet as there was quite a lot of traffic

OP posts:
Ricochetsandwhich · 25/08/2023 23:55

Lots of impatient idiots on the road. Don’t give them too much head space and be grateful you’re not them.

Wizzoh, either are ok really, I give way to people who are in the wrong lane as I know it’s easily done. If the roundabout is full of nutters sometime it’s easier to go full circle.

Abfab63 · 25/08/2023 23:56

You're never going to see them again. Don't let it bother you or stop you living your life.

It's small dick energy. That's all!

Conkersinautumn · 25/08/2023 23:58

I'd just waggle my little finger back in return.

BarelyLiterate · 26/08/2023 01:03

Ignore the prat, put this incident behind you and keep on driving. Them or you do it, the more confident you will become.

Everyone makes mistakes when driving in unfamiliar places. Including me, and I’m a very confident, experienced driver.

theGooHasGone · 26/08/2023 04:06

If you let this stop you driving, you have a very thin skin. Don't concern yourself with the opinions or actions of random road users - just carry on with life!

Vestito · 26/08/2023 08:54

Don’t let it stop you, you’ll regret it. Most people are not aggressive drivers but unfortunately some are, and strange-city driving stresses the most experienced. Sometimes if I get into the wrong lane, I just go with it and turn and come back. I was beeped at twice undeservedly the last time I was in a strange city and I’m driving 30+ years.

Rocknrollstar · 26/08/2023 08:55

Ignore them and use a satnav that will tell you what lane you need

Daffodilsandtuplips · 15/10/2023 10:01

Llemonn · 25/08/2023 23:42

I have been driving about 8 years now but tbh I just give up after today. I feel as though there is so many drivers rushing, trying to intimidate.

Today, I had my 2 young children in the car. Was in a new city I’ve not drove in before and was a bit stressed and unfortunately I got in the wrong lane approaching a round about with traffic lights. We were not close to the traffic lights as there was a row of traffic in both lanes and I realised well before the round about that I was not in the right lane. I indicated and a car let me in to the lane I needed to be in. I hardly held up the man behind me in the wrong lane I was in as I was able to merge into the other lane quickly and we all got through on the green light. However, he beeped 3 times and stuck his middle finger out the window at me. Just feel like my confidence on the roads has been knocked.

Don’t give up driving because of one inconsiderate, rude, entitled prick. It happens to us all. You did nothing wrong, you realised you were in the wrong lane, indicated in advance that you needed to move lanes and a considerate driver let you in. You didn’t hold anyone up, the flow of traffic kept moving.
Hopefully Karma will catch up the prick one day in the form of an unmarked police car with a lit up sign in its back window saying ‘Follow Me’ just like we saw yesterday when he pulled up the car that had just cut us up. He waved us on with a big smile on his face.

2chocolateoranges · 15/10/2023 10:06

Don’t give up driving you realised you were in the wrong lane and did the correct procedure to get into the right lane.

I think sometimes people forget that not everyone knows the roads they are driving on eg new to area, travelling for work or pleasure. Some road marking and signage are shit too.

keep driving.

Minfilia · 15/10/2023 10:09

Meh, why even give people like that any head space?

why not just laugh at how pathetic their sad little life must be to be a) so impatient and b) so small dick energy aggressive, and then just go about your day?

There are idiot drivers everywhere, if you let every one of them get to you then no wonder you want to stop driving!

Seeline · 15/10/2023 10:14

Do you use a sat nav OP? Total game changer for me. You're less likely to be in the wrong lane in the first place, but if you are and have to eg take the left turn, the sat nav will get you back on the right route without you having to stress about it.

And there are some really aggressive, rude drivers out there. Ignore them.

Createausername1970 · 15/10/2023 10:16

Some people like to be confrontational and deliberately horrid.

Whether they do that from the safety of their car, or a keyboard (there are some incredibly horrible people on this board sometimes), it's not nice, but don't take it too personally. You are probably one in a long line of people they have been rude to.

As long as you know you acted calmly and safely, then just forget it.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 15/10/2023 10:18

Wizzoh · 25/08/2023 23:49

I don't drive, so I'm genuinely asking here, my husband did the same the other day and got beeped at... But I thought shouldn't he have just gone round the roundabout again and into the right lane rather than trying to cross lanes at the lights?

Going right round the roundabout can be frowned upon, it can cause confusion to the cars to the right waiting to join the roundabout if the indicator has self cancelled and the driver hadn’t turned it back on the waiting driver doesn’t know the other driver doing a u turn so to speak, He could pull out into the path of the driver on the roundabout. My DH was pulled over by a traffic officer for doing this.

CornedBeef451 · 15/10/2023 10:19

You have to toughen up unfortunately as there are a lot of idiots about.

I was in a queue in a multi storey carpark yesterday so everyone was trapped and looking for a space or trying to leave.

A man drove very quickly past me and a few other cars forcing us all to stop as there wasn't space, then slammed to a halt and reversed very quickly and erratically as he'd seen a space.

I papped my horn as I thought he might hit me and as I finally made it past him he told me to fuck off!

I rolled my eyes and resisted the urge to give him the wanker sign as my DCs were in the car.

Basically some people are arseholes and driving brings out the worst in them.

Try not to let it bother you, we all make mistakes sometimes.

Jewelspun · 15/10/2023 10:20

His reaction was over the top but I would have beeped you.

You shouldn't cut in on a roundabout. You either go round again or if you have to go in another direction you continue and then turn off and come back.

CrotchetyQuaver · 15/10/2023 10:23

Seeline · 15/10/2023 10:14

Do you use a sat nav OP? Total game changer for me. You're less likely to be in the wrong lane in the first place, but if you are and have to eg take the left turn, the sat nav will get you back on the right route without you having to stress about it.

And there are some really aggressive, rude drivers out there. Ignore them.

Edited

I was coming on to say the same! I just use maps on my mobile phone but it tells me which lane I need to be in a lot of the time. It might make all the difference

cardibach · 15/10/2023 10:43

There were 2 other drivers involved in this exchange - the wanker who beeped and the considerate driver who let you in. Why fixate in the wanker and let him Co tell what you do? Instead, focus on the nice person. More drivers are like him/her than are like the wanker.

mrscatwoman · 15/10/2023 10:59

Jewelspun · 15/10/2023 10:20

His reaction was over the top but I would have beeped you.

You shouldn't cut in on a roundabout. You either go round again or if you have to go in another direction you continue and then turn off and come back.

Well that would be misuse of the horn if you did that - it's not there so you can make a point to others, it's to avoid accidents. And the OP didn't cut in at all - someone considerate let her in to her new lane and the man behind her in the original lane she was in was pissed off he had to wait 2 seconds while she did the manoeuvre, or that's how I read it. It can be a nightmare knowing which lane to be in at large roundabouts in unfamiliar places as signs can be misleading and traffic covers the arrows painted on the road itself. Even with a satnav you can get shit like 'bear right, then keep left immediately' and not be sure where to go. The idea that you should go the wrong way, maybe ending up on a motorway or other road where there's no way of turning round for a considerable time when this can easily be avoided by signalling what you need and others taking a few seconds, or at worse minutes, out of their day to help you out is absolutely ridiculous. What a way to live.

zingally · 15/10/2023 11:35

I was driving in Wolverhampton last Sunday. A city I've never driven in before, and I also got in the wrong lane at a roundabout, and did the same thing you did. And I've had a license for 20 years.
ANYONE who ever says they've never made a small mistake when driving is lying.
Go on with your life OP. Don't let one tiny wanker spoil your day.

Bearcub101 · 15/10/2023 11:38

Sat nav every time. Google maps one is good. Tells you what lane to be in.

LemonLymanDotCom · 15/10/2023 12:14

Dickheads abound, especially on the road when people feel all protected by their metal shell. Ignore the man rage, you crack on. Why let a dickhead curb your independence and life? Don’t let him have that power over you.