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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday

34 replies

C2190 · 25/08/2023 21:48

Hi

My partner wants to book a weeks holiday abroad next year. We have a son, and he will be 2 years old. My mum and sister in law have offered to take our son for the week so we can go and have some chill time, but aibu to feel like I don't want to leave him for the week or should I just go and have fun? We considered taking him with us but personally I think with the heat etc it would be a bit much for him as he would only be 2 and I would be worried that he wouldn't enjoy it as much. I have spoke to my parter about this and he's absolutely fine with holding off until our son is a bit older and we can all go a holiday together but I feel bad as my parter and I haven't been abroad together yet and I do feel like having some us time would do the world of good for us but I also feel a bit selfish.

OP posts:
AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 25/08/2023 21:49

Do you want to go but feel like you would/should feel some kind of mum guilt, or do you genuinely not want to leave your son?

IamSmarticus · 25/08/2023 21:52

Plenty of people take 2 year olds on holiday, I'm not sure why you don't think that you can. Personally I wouldn't leave him behind, I would go on holiday as a family.

Original poster
C2190 · 25/08/2023 21:53

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 25/08/2023 21:49

Do you want to go but feel like you would/should feel some kind of mum guilt, or do you genuinely not want to leave your son?

Tbh, I want to go, but I feel like I would/should have mum guilt for leaving him. He absolutely loves having sleepovers with his gran and his auntie and uncle, though, so I know he would he happy regardless

OP posts:
Original poster
C2190 · 25/08/2023 21:55

IamSmarticus · 25/08/2023 21:52

Plenty of people take 2 year olds on holiday, I'm not sure why you don't think that you can. Personally I wouldn't leave him behind, I would go on holiday as a family.

That's what I'm thinking, but I overthink his little routine, he's in, etc, and I would feel rotten if he just wasn't comfortable.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 25/08/2023 21:57

Why does it need to be a week? You could always do two or theee nights away abroad together and then a U.K. caravan holiday the three of you

Duvetdayforme · 25/08/2023 21:58

I took my DS away on holiday when he was under two. He had a great time splashing around in the toddler pool.

Fairyliz · 25/08/2023 22:01

I took my DC’s on holiday abroad from about 15 months and they were fine. You do know people in foreign countries have children don’t you?

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 25/08/2023 22:05

C2190 · 25/08/2023 21:53

Tbh, I want to go, but I feel like I would/should have mum guilt for leaving him. He absolutely loves having sleepovers with his gran and his auntie and uncle, though, so I know he would he happy regardless

Show quote history

Well, go then! Obviously you can take babies abroad. I went at 6 months. But it'a not really a break, just parenting somewhere else.

Original poster
C2190 · 25/08/2023 22:08

Fairyliz · 25/08/2023 22:01

I took my DC’s on holiday abroad from about 15 months and they were fine. You do know people in foreign countries have children don’t you?

People in foreign countries have children? You learn something new every day!

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 25/08/2023 22:09

I’m on holiday at the moment with my older children. It’s hot here but there are loads of people with toddlers etc who seem to be having a lovely time.

Equally, I think it would be fine to have a holiday just the two of you, but only if you would enjoy it.

Tbh both of the above options - and the option fo not going away are all fine so really it’s a happy situation to be in. I’d probably choose the family holiday myself but that’s a purely personal choice.

Alwaystired2023 · 25/08/2023 22:11

It may be more disruptive to his routine to spend a week away from you and your partner? I took my little one away abroad just before she turned 2 and again at 3 and routine was a bit messed up but she was fine as with me etc ? Totally worth it for the fun and adventures taking them on holiday!

lolacherricoke · 25/08/2023 22:13

Go, it will be great for you and DH and give you time to be a couple again and not just mum and dad. We do it every year and the kids love staying with Granny and me and DH realise we still like each other.

TeaKitten · 25/08/2023 22:14

Just go somewhere less hot if you want to take him with you. 2 year old would be fine without you, would do fine in the heat if handled properly, would be fine on a cooler holiday, is fine with no holiday at all. No mum guilt needed whatever you choose

reluctantbrit · 25/08/2023 22:25

We went on holiday with a 2 year old and had a great time. But it wasn't a holiday like we had as a couple.

It depends what you want. A 2 year old won't care where he goes as long as he has fun, is loved and there is someone looking after him. Lots of parents go on their own and have a great time and then another week as a family somewhere. But equally not everyone has able parents to provide care and then a couple holiday just doesn't work.

Don't have a guilty feeling. I went on a project which meant trips abroad form 16 months onwards for 3 years. I loved the silent mornings and adult conversations for dinner. Equally DH travelled for work since DD is born. DD was safe and loved by the other parents and I know of children being happy with grandparents when parents go for work trips.

CheckYourUsername · 25/08/2023 22:28

The first time we took dd on holiday abroad she was 4 months old and we had a lovely week in Mallorca. We took her to Tenerife, Tunisia and Rhodes before she was 2. It's perfectly possible to have a great holiday with a child but it's not going to be a boozy late-night trip.
If you are unsure about leaving him for a week then think about going for a few nights instead.

PinkiOcelot · 25/08/2023 22:30

Take him with you OP. We took both dds on holiday when they were about 9 months. They were fine.

10HailMarys · 25/08/2023 22:33

C2190 · 25/08/2023 21:55

That's what I'm thinking, but I overthink his little routine, he's in, etc, and I would feel rotten if he just wasn't comfortable.

Show quote history

I think you’re being way too rigid about his routine. Yes, it’s good to have some routine but he’ll never learn to be adaptable if he doesn’t experience anything different now and again. Lots of people take toddlers on holiday with no issues.

Quitelikeacatslife · 25/08/2023 22:33

Go for 4 nights somewhere with short flight and short transfer so you are not traveling all day. No need to feel guilty, you DS will probably have a lovely memorable time with family. Of course you can go away with little one and there will be lots of nice moments but lots of tiring ones too. It's not a holiday holiday,. If you can afford it book a nice uk seaside break with 2 ur old ad well. I wish we'd done it more whilst family were able to help before illness took over, make the most of it to be a couple

awfullytricky · 25/08/2023 22:38

You cannot put a price on some couple time when you have young children.. ! Having a child is like a hand-grenade going off in a relationship.,ALL the relationships I know of (I'm 61 now) that worked long term were between people who nurtured their relationship as partners ..

Do it. Your child will be safe, loved and looked after and will never remember anyway !! Win win

NalafromtheLionKing · 25/08/2023 22:41

TBH, leaving my DC behind wouldn’t even have occurred to me (we have always gone away for their benefit as much as our own).

Beezknees · 25/08/2023 22:42

Do whatever you feel comfortable with.

I wouldn't have left my child at that age but that's my personal choice. I wouldn't judge anyone who did.

Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you don't want to either. If you go, go because YOU want to, not because you feel like you should.

Madamlulu · 25/08/2023 22:47

I travelled loads with my kids when they were little and I think it helped them build flexibility and not become so stuck to routines. Routines are good for kids but good to adapt them sometimes I think x

Milkand2sugarsplease · 25/08/2023 22:52

DS2 is 2 now.

We've done a fortnight in the Maldives at 11m

An overnight at Legoland

A week on a farm

A few nights at a friends house

A few nights at a lodge

He's enjoyed every one in his own way and we've kept his routine at bedtime.

Take him and have fun.

Equally, there's no guilt needed if you decide to leave him home with family.

FloweryName · 25/08/2023 22:52

At two I think your child is likely to be better off with both his parents in a different country than with other family at home.

tt9 · 25/08/2023 22:52

travelling with a 2 year old can be challenging but he will have such a great time especially if you go to a kiddy friendly hotel with fun activities. even just a beach holiday is great with a 2 year old. as long as you take plenty of sunlotion and don't go out in the mid day sun, it should be fine. my nephews just came back from Singapore (2.5 years and 1 year old) and they had an awesome time in beach/pool/theme parks/zoos etc.

if you want a couple holiday. that's OK too.

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