Page 3 | Husband going on holiday without me and 4 month old

AdrianeMole · 2023-08-25T18:14:22+00:00

AIBU that I'm feeling a bit upset about this, it's a week, long haul, no family support nearby. It's not like I'll be able to do the same anytime soon, because I'm looking after the baby.

Quitelikeacatslife · 25/08/2023 22:11

It won't be a walk in the park but you'll be fine . But please please book a trip with your friends for early next year or something , even if in uk , it will keep you in touch with yourself. I speak as having been parent for 20 years, support each other and let him go in good grace (as long as he has enough annual leave and money to still do family things) but don't be a martyr and you go away as well (and make sure he knows he better not moan about that)

SlowlyLosing · 25/08/2023 22:23

Was this discussed and agreed?

My DH went on a 3 day wedding abroad when dc were little. I had a ridiculously hard time but I was still fine with him going

My friend also went to new York for a week when her baby was 3 months old, arranged before she got pregnant. She expressed and froze it, DH and baby were fine. Pretty sure she wouldn't have gone if it hadn't been paid for tho.

If its just that you're jealous he is able to go away and you are not then yabu. You do not have to BF, you can go away too. If its more that you need help, that you didn't agree to him going or that it's instead of a family holiday then yanbu.

reluctantbrit · 25/08/2023 22:28

Would you think the same if he would travel for work? DH re-started work travel when DD was 6 weeks. It wasn't the easiest but workable. 4 months was a breeze by then.

A lad's holiday - depends how much he pulls his weight normally. If you are equal in housework and childreaing then why not. Your time will also come.

JudgeJ · 25/08/2023 22:28

GCWorkNightmare · 25/08/2023 19:25

DH was away working 5.5 days a week when DD was that age anyway. No family help within thousands of miles.

I took DD long haul at 4.5 months old without DH. 🤷🏻‍♀️

The same as many people ! I can never understand why an adult needs so much 'support' to care for a small baby, I was glad my family were too far away to offer their opinions! Maybe the OP needs to plan a solo week away too.

JudgeJ · 25/08/2023 22:31

Lilolilibet · 25/08/2023 20:12

This is an obnoxious post.

Show quote history

Obnoxious? Rubbish! Why are you so jealous of women who cope? It was the reality for many and we simply got on with it without making looking after a baby a major problem.

JudgeJ · 25/08/2023 22:35

Hocuspocusnonsense · 25/08/2023 21:49

The ‘cool wife’ set no doubt will tell you YABU, they raised 4 children, single handed, husband worked away for 6 months at a time, they had no family support, lived on a farm 5 miles from the nearest neighbour and they coped! Meanwhile in the real world I wouldn’t be happy OP, a week is too long. A weekend is one thing, a week is a selfish move and smacks of I can so I will. But just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

The usual yawnfest from the MNers who don't like other people having different perspectives! How very dare they not adhere to the script! It's not about being 'cool', an odd word to use to describe those who don't play the game like the rest.

Canisaysomething · 25/08/2023 22:59

Most new fathers wouldn't want to be away from their partner and new baby for a week. In theory you'll be fine but it's a bit sad he wants to go.

Theunamedcat · 25/08/2023 23:03

Lilolilibet · 25/08/2023 20:12

This is an obnoxious post.

Show quote history

It's a realistic one baby is going to be four months old not four days old

skippy67 · 25/08/2023 23:12

Hocuspocusnonsense · 25/08/2023 21:49

The ‘cool wife’ set no doubt will tell you YABU, they raised 4 children, single handed, husband worked away for 6 months at a time, they had no family support, lived on a farm 5 miles from the nearest neighbour and they coped! Meanwhile in the real world I wouldn’t be happy OP, a week is too long. A weekend is one thing, a week is a selfish move and smacks of I can so I will. But just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

Your world isn't the world And the "cool wife" thing as an insult is so lame.

LittleBearPad · 26/08/2023 00:33

I’d be fucking livid if DH did this.

Clymene · 26/08/2023 00:46

AdrianeMole · 25/08/2023 21:17

I guess I'm a bit sore that we haven't had any holidays together in ages, ivf, pregnancy, covid etc and that I couldn't or wouldn't do the same

That's really shit

FedUpWithEverything123 · 26/08/2023 01:59

Absolutely no. So disgusting that he is even contemplating this, let alone actually going to do it. I'm so sorry OP

SALWARP2023 · 15/11/2023 06:13

My DH went on holiday loads when our son was young. It did cause some resentment on my part mainly because his work was so demanding too. However, I tried to enjoy the time doing what I wanted such as watching boxsets, nice long baths and early nights. It was before smartphones and mobile phone networks were patchy so we genuinely had a total break from each other which I think no one has these days. He always came back missing us both lots.

Zanatdy · 15/11/2023 06:23

For a special occasion I wouldn’t see a problem, but this just seems to be a holiday. Baby is pretty young so I do think he’s being quite selfish. Has he even asked if you mind?

TeirdofcontrollingMIL · 18/03/2026 00:46

Iv got the same issue at the moment. Partner is going for away for a week for their mother's birthday and I am home along with a four month old and my family live nearly two hours away and are also going away (separate trip). I am upset as no one consulted me prior and my child is currently beginning his four month regression whilst I have insomnia so I am panicking how I am going to cope. Do you have any tips from how you dealt with this in the end?

SillyQuail · 18/03/2026 06:48

My DH has been to visit family in the US several times since our DC were born, the first time when DC1 was a few months old. He came back jetlagged and had a horrible virus that took almost a week to shake. In fact every time he's been away long haul he's caught something. I don't want to weigh in ok whether your DH should or shouldn't go, but you should both just bear in mind he might not be fully functioning immediately on return, especially if he's going to be drinking/partying while he's away, and plan accordingly.