Neighbour that I feel pressured to please

[Tracy424]

I bought a house about 5 months ago and it has a nice reasonable patch of grass at the front with some nice hedges and a tree at the bottom which I love. I keep the grass nice and neat

the issue is everytime I bump into my next door neighbour she makes a comment like “I would get that tree trimmed back” “are you going to do something about that hedge as it’s going brown on a small patch” etc etc

im a single mum, 2 children and just started a new job, I feel like saying “look this is my garden and it doesn’t touch yours there is a path in between” am I being unreasonable?

I had no idea that this situation was so prevalent!

I’m a landlord, and I have a lovely tenant in situ. However, she’s a single mum and she juggles a lot.

I continually get passive aggressive texts from the guy next door about the front garden. It’s certainly not Chelsea flower show, but it’s ok. She’s busy and she has a right to live there undisturbed.

Its not causing any safety issues to him or any other neighbours.

Ive written several texts in reply, and have deleted them all. Have decided that the best response is No response.

I’ll need to be ready when I do pop over to the house. He’ll be out of his front door haranguing me in the street… unless he’s already had a go at her 😣

I would just start being really aloof with her. One word answers. Don't get in to an actual conversation about whether you're going to cut your hedges etc as it gives the impression that you're considering doing what she says.

Just be a little bit rude (like, not trying to make any convo when you see her. Say hi and then rush off quickly). Hopefully she'll piss off soon.

My FIL is like this too.

I've actually asked my husband to stall all visits to the house now I'm 8 months pregnant, because he'll literally start jumping up and creating work and asking questions and trying to crack on with "sorting jobs for us".

But cutting a tree back to the bone isn't a job we either want or need him to do. Creating a trip hazard in the garden step definitely is a job I could have done without now I can't see my feet. And he's cut a random hole in the middle of the ivy. It looks weird.

It doesn't come from a good place either. It needs to be his way or nothing. MIL says that, not me! She told me that he needed to be in my or her sight at all times to prevent him starting jobs, because my husband is too liable to just agree.

Nip it in the bud. What started as instructions on where to put my bins, ended with death threats and a harassment order.

If your neighbour is really screaming at her grandchildren, then try to speak to one of the children's parents if you can. Or if that is not something you can do, contact social services.

As for the demand, the answer is no.

Retired with nothing to do is my guess

Hi OP
I agree with previous comments. We are going through hell with a paranoid control freak neighbour after initially seeming to be ok but then what seemed to be small comments like you are getting, to now, to her hacking our hedging down two foot on each side and leaving the rest high, abusive texts, watching everything we do and her complaining that I didn't offer her a plant in my garden before I gave it my friend and all sorts of other stuff its been horrible!! Wtf

I stupidly and regretfully gave her my number three years ago when we went away, she said she would keep an eye on the house, I'm now having to change my number.

Do not engage, do the grey rock treatment with her they are neurotic people, just keep it simple just a hi and walk off, no conversation or any inclination for her to say anything to you