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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BMI approaching obese

117 replies

GalGadont · 25/08/2023 01:06

So spurred by another thread on here I’ve used the NHS BMI calculator, I knew I was overweight but horrified to realise I’m now approaching obese (height about 5.5 & 1/2 and weight 12st 11). AIBU to be a bit surprised that’s categorised as nearly obese? I’m a size 14, still fit into some of the clothes I wore when I was a healthy weight, don’t have any difficulty fitting into plane seats etc. I definitely know I need to lose weight, but I’ve always thought of ‘obese’ as meaning really huge. Feeling very chastened right now!

OP posts:
PrincessPeaches123 · 26/08/2023 08:07

ichifanny · 25/08/2023 07:38

Wait on the eating disorder people who are teeny tiny and weigh 7 stone saying clothes are all massive and everyone is obese .. oh beat me to it .

I weigh 9 stone 10 and am 5"5. Size 8. Old clothes size 12

Beezknees · 26/08/2023 08:08

mindbogglingmaths · 26/08/2023 00:44

I'm the same. If I tell people I need to lose 3 stone they look at me as though I'm insane. But I was happily 3 stone lighter my entire adult life until the menopause hit.

It's rubbish. I've started Slimfast as a quick way to get me off snacking and excess sugar. Hoping it makes a dent quickly so I can get in the right mindset as 3 stone is a lot to have to lose.

I'm using Slimfast currently (before anyone says it's not good for you I KNOW, but I wanted to get some weight off urgently) and it's worked so far, I've lost 5lbs in a month and I feel less bloated. Hopefully it works for you too.

DrJump · 26/08/2023 08:22

If you are approaching the obese BMI please get some proper evidence based support. A dietitian that looks at food as a whole and will support you to make sustainable changes which promote health rather than demonise foods or behaviour.

I am slowly but surely approaching obese range from the morbid side. I wish I had addressed my issue from the overweight side rather than trying to do it this side.

5128gap · 26/08/2023 08:24

Obesity is not an asthetic description. It isn't the bottom end of some sort of attractiveness scale. It isn't a personality trait. It's a piece of information about the possible impact of your current weight on your health.
Finding out that you're almost in the category where your weight could cause health issues hasn't suddenly changed your appearance or character. If you felt OK about yourself before, then you still should.
Its entirely possible you look lovely and given everyone is bigger, comparatively slim. You are no lazier, lacking in will power or whatever other negative cliche than you ever were. All that's happened is you have this health information.
Its entirely up to you what you so with it.
You could decide to ignore it, as so many people do who's health would benefit by losing weight. Or drinking less, stopping smoking, eating more veg, excercising, reducing stress....Or you could decide to try to address it.
Either way you need to keep perspective. Its one area of your life not your defining characteristic.

CharlotteBog · 26/08/2023 08:25

So @Galiana BMI is a good measure of health until we’re talking about the bottom end? 8 stone 10 is below the bottom end of healthy. It’s my height, I’ve seen the photos of myself looking scrawny, after the event, when at the time I thought I just looked slim. Handily ignoring the fact I couldn’t ever get warm.

And that's why there is a range. I am at the very bottom of the healthy range - have been all my adult life. It's what right for me. I do not look at all scrawny, I am very slim but because I exercise a lot I am pretty muscular and toned.

Pabbit · 26/08/2023 08:26

Lots of people assume obese means extremely large and unable to do everyday things like fit in plane seats as you refer to OP, but that's not the case at all. BMI isn't perfect by any stretch but generally if its saying you're nearly obese then you are overweight at the very least and it's worth assessing your diet and activity levels.

UnRavellingFast · 26/08/2023 08:33

MirandaWest · 25/08/2023 07:02

I was nearly into the obese category 3 years ago. I definitely did weigh too much - my legs hurt when I squatted down by the fridge and I wasn’t able to move as much as I wanted to. I was about 80kg at 5 foot 4.

I lost about 15kg relatively quickly and am still that now (although with some ups and downs). My weight now is just into healthy and I am in much better shape. I was a sleepwalking into obesity type person and so I do need to keep an eye on how much I weigh but it is worth it for me to be able to do the physical activity I enjoy.

How did you lose the 15 kilos relatively quickly? I’d like to do the same!

Lentilweaver · 26/08/2023 08:56

5128gap · 26/08/2023 08:24

Obesity is not an asthetic description. It isn't the bottom end of some sort of attractiveness scale. It isn't a personality trait. It's a piece of information about the possible impact of your current weight on your health.
Finding out that you're almost in the category where your weight could cause health issues hasn't suddenly changed your appearance or character. If you felt OK about yourself before, then you still should.
Its entirely possible you look lovely and given everyone is bigger, comparatively slim. You are no lazier, lacking in will power or whatever other negative cliche than you ever were. All that's happened is you have this health information.
Its entirely up to you what you so with it.
You could decide to ignore it, as so many people do who's health would benefit by losing weight. Or drinking less, stopping smoking, eating more veg, excercising, reducing stress....Or you could decide to try to address it.
Either way you need to keep perspective. Its one area of your life not your defining characteristic.

This is well expressed.

Cakesandbabes · 26/08/2023 09:10

PrincessPeaches123 · 26/08/2023 08:05

I read a thread yesterday where someone commented that overweight people knew they were overweight. I don't think that's true. As our sizes have increased it's become normalised. I'm currently a size 8. I have a skirt (from principles) that I bought 26 years ago. It only just fits. It's a size 12. People think BMI is bollocks but only when they don't like what it says. Unless you are an elite athlete with visible muscle it's a fair measure IMHO.

For many it is they know they are overweight, the issue ia not knowing HOW much. Denial is a beautiful and dangerous thing. At least in my case was

TetherMetherPip · 26/08/2023 09:48

That’s my point @CharlotteBog - we say it’s a range and accounts for everyone when someone goes over the top of that range, but want to ignore it when someone goes out the bottom. 8 stone 10 is underweight by BMI when you’re 5’8 - which I know because I’m 5’8. And well the whole range isn’t healthy for everyone - my BMI is currently 24, and despite being healthy on paper I am definitely a stone overweight for my build!

CharlotteBog · 26/08/2023 10:52

TetherMetherPip · 26/08/2023 09:48

That’s my point @CharlotteBog - we say it’s a range and accounts for everyone when someone goes over the top of that range, but want to ignore it when someone goes out the bottom. 8 stone 10 is underweight by BMI when you’re 5’8 - which I know because I’m 5’8. And well the whole range isn’t healthy for everyone - my BMI is currently 24, and despite being healthy on paper I am definitely a stone overweight for my build!

8 stone 10 at 5"8' is bmi 18.5 = healthy range.
According to NHS BMI checker.

ConsuelaHammock · 26/08/2023 11:17

You should aim to be about 91/2 stone for your height. Size 14 is probably really a 16 or 16 now.
ps I’m overweight too. Menopause hit hard and my normally high metabolism is gone !

ConsuelaHammock · 26/08/2023 11:19

*18

HowardKirksConscience · 26/08/2023 12:41

spirit20 · 25/08/2023 20:23

I personally wouldn't put too much faith in BMI as it doesn't take account a lot of factors or that people have different body shape.

But you are wrong. BMI absolutely does take into account different body shapes. The healthy range is something like 19-25, so you can be healthy at 19 with a very slim build, and healthy at 25 with a chunkier build. Do you understand what ‘range’ means? Clearly not.

DinosApple · 26/08/2023 12:53

I'm the same height and weight as you OP.
I've lost a few lbs coming back from holiday and now need to keep it up.

However I have a very slim teen who is on the first centile for weight and under a dietitian.

It's a real battle trying to get her up to a healthy weight with lots of lovely tempting things in the fridge, and at the same time get mine down - without making any fuss about it.

Unicornio1990 · 26/08/2023 13:08

13 stone is pretty fucking hefty for a muscular 6 foot bloke. Why do people on MN think it's okish for a mid-height woman?

I've just checked the numbers for a 13 stone, 6 foot male (age 30, white ethnicity, for example) in the NHS BMI checker and it came through as the top end of a healthy weight, hardly 'pretty fucking hefty'.

Kirova · 26/08/2023 13:31

ichifanny · 25/08/2023 07:38

Wait on the eating disorder people who are teeny tiny and weigh 7 stone saying clothes are all massive and everyone is obese .. oh beat me to it .

You can't possibly say that everyone who weighs 7 stone has an eating disorder!

Mummy08m · 26/08/2023 13:37

Kirova · 26/08/2023 13:31

You can't possibly say that everyone who weighs 7 stone has an eating disorder!

Show quote history

I agree.

I'm bang on average height for a UK woman (5ft4) and my pre-pg weight is 8 stone which is safely in the normal bmi zone (I didn't always used to be).

7 stone is a little bit underweight (if average height) but not alarmingly so, and is you're short then it could be just normal. Half of women are below average height.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 26/08/2023 13:37

I am 5'5" and my friend and I joined the gym. We weighed ourselves and were horrified to realise we were both obese. I was about 13st 11lbs and couldn't understand as I didn't think I looked obese. I even made a post on here. A lady at work looks obese but I would think she's actually morbidly obese (I don't mean any of that horribly just explaining my idea of obese was a lot bigger than me). I'm not 11.13 and overweight and have about another stone and a bit to get into normal but want to lose 1st 13 to sit comfortably in normal. My friends said if I lost that much it would be too much so I do think we've lost sight a bit.

Galiana · 26/08/2023 13:40

Unicornio1990 · 26/08/2023 13:08

13 stone is pretty fucking hefty for a muscular 6 foot bloke. Why do people on MN think it's okish for a mid-height woman?

I've just checked the numbers for a 13 stone, 6 foot male (age 30, white ethnicity, for example) in the NHS BMI checker and it came through as the top end of a healthy weight, hardly 'pretty fucking hefty'.

The top BMI for a six foot bloke is pretty hefty. It's obviously verging on overweight.

BMI is a pretty broad brush, but if the majority of people are at the top end, they could probably do with losing a bit of weight.

Build is certainly a factor. I have an athletic build. Very narrow hips, not much in the way of breasts and broad upper body. Women who are much curvier than me can no doubt be slim at a higher BMI. I certainly don't look scrawny at 8 stone 10. Just slender. Top end of BMI for my build, I'd be obviously carrying a lot of extra weight.

Your average 6 foot man would look pretty chunky at 13 stone.

PrincessPeaches123 · 26/08/2023 13:40

I'd take what friends say with a pinch of salt. Friends hate it when friends lose weight.

TheInterceptor · 26/08/2023 13:43

My husband lost weight recently - 6 stone. He went from 18st-12st and for his height that put him just into the normal BMI category. He was gaunt faced and with ribs showing. I couldn't imagine what he'd've looked like at the lower end of a healthy BMI (9st). Build has to come into the equation somewhere.

Alyosha · 26/08/2023 13:48

I think as people have said we've lost sight of what normal is. Post baby 2 I was in the obese category but could still fit into some size 8/10 clothes (5ft 5 and 13st). I have put a huge amount of effort in and I'm now "only" overweight at 11st, and I'm finding it very hard to shift the last few pounds to get to "normal". Especially because I am fitting into size 10 from places like next and new look! Of course there has been ongoing size inflation which has led to this. A size 12 I bought in 2009 doesn't fit me - but a size 8 now does.

For health reasons I'm determined to lose someore weight but have shifted to exercise + diet as hope this is longer term better for health. Diet helps me low weight more reliably but exercise makes me feel amazing.

Polis · 26/08/2023 13:56

Build has to come into the equation somewhere.

It does. In the wide healthy weight for a given height range.

Galiana · 26/08/2023 13:58

TheInterceptor · 26/08/2023 13:43

My husband lost weight recently - 6 stone. He went from 18st-12st and for his height that put him just into the normal BMI category. He was gaunt faced and with ribs showing. I couldn't imagine what he'd've looked like at the lower end of a healthy BMI (9st). Build has to come into the equation somewhere.

I doubt very much he was "gaunt faced" he just wasn't how you expected him to look. If he's lost a lot of weight quickly he may have lost skin tone is his face. I guarantee he's not looking gaunt at top end BMI.

And it's quite normal, at a slim weight to see your top ribs. That's not emaciated. It's fine. Your upper body isn't really meant to be encased in a layer of fat.

And I am making absolutely no judgement calls, I'm really not.

MN is so bizarrely polarised about weight though, it's pretty bonkers.