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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BMI approaching obese

117 replies

GalGadont · 25/08/2023 01:06

So spurred by another thread on here I’ve used the NHS BMI calculator, I knew I was overweight but horrified to realise I’m now approaching obese (height about 5.5 & 1/2 and weight 12st 11). AIBU to be a bit surprised that’s categorised as nearly obese? I’m a size 14, still fit into some of the clothes I wore when I was a healthy weight, don’t have any difficulty fitting into plane seats etc. I definitely know I need to lose weight, but I’ve always thought of ‘obese’ as meaning really huge. Feeling very chastened right now!

OP posts:
bellac11 · 25/08/2023 21:21

Obesity is a medical condition. I have to declare it on my travel insurance

What is this thing where people are pretending words are new or offensive, its a medical term to describe excess fat on the body.

Original poster
GalGadont · 25/08/2023 21:24

bellac11 · 25/08/2023 21:21

Obesity is a medical condition. I have to declare it on my travel insurance

What is this thing where people are pretending words are new or offensive, its a medical term to describe excess fat on the body.

No-one has said anything about new or offensive, I think you’re projecting

OP posts:
Dutchesss · 25/08/2023 21:25

It is a worrying trend. Especially with children, there are so many overweight children that people are desensitised and they see overweight children as 'slim'. 😶 It seems especially unfair as children are being set up for health issues later on.

I wonder how percentiles will work for our generation of children, so many are overweight that surely it would soon make up the 50th percentile.

bellac11 · 25/08/2023 21:29

GalGadont · 25/08/2023 21:24

No-one has said anything about new or offensive, I think you’re projecting

Show quote history

Theres a couple of posters here saying its a loaded term/horrible term designed to make you do something about it, which is what I was referring to

Im not projecting anything what do you mean by that and projecting what?

CharlotteBog · 25/08/2023 21:33

LindorDoubleChoc · 25/08/2023 20:47

At my height the difference between being normal weight and obese is about 2 stone. Obese no longer just means a Hattie Jaques sort of size, the definition has changed.

I think this must be the top end of the health range to the bottom end of obese . If so that makes perfect sense.
2 stone on an already just healthy weight is a lot.

Vallmo47 · 25/08/2023 21:53

Sympathy Op. It’s a horrible wake up call isn’t it? I say that as someone who worked very very hard and managed to lose 4 stone. It’s tough.

Notmytotoro · 25/08/2023 22:15

Greatty · 25/08/2023 06:39

I think we've lost sight of what a healthy weight looks like, with so many people overweight and obese.

Not fitting in plane seats etc I'd say was severe obesity, but obviously any additional weight is unhealthy.

Exactly, OP is obese, losing weight won't make her be in the bones as other mumsnetter said. English society is so super obese that they think being overweight/obese is healthy.

Beezknees · 25/08/2023 22:32

Cakecakecheese · 25/08/2023 20:52

Obese is a horrible sounding word, probably to push people into doing something about their weight. I wasn't too bothered when I was a bit overweight but when I started creeping towards being obese then that's when I decided to do something about it.

Me too. Just the thought of being "obese" made me feel sick.

Galiana · 25/08/2023 23:11

I'm not sure MN is the best place to talk about weight. It's so devisive.

Obviously nearly 13 stone and 5' 5" is pretty overweight. It's mad that this is even discussed.

I'm 5' 8" 9 stone 10 and not skinny. I'm slim. But I could probably drop a stone without anyone being concerned.

I was under 10 stone when pregnant.

I absolutely put no value judgement on weight. I understand the obesiogenic environment.

But the denial of facts is bonkers.

13 stone is pretty fucking hefty for a muscular 6 foot bloke. Why do people on MN think it's okish for a mid-height woman?

Original poster
GalGadont · 25/08/2023 23:27

Galiana · 25/08/2023 23:11

I'm not sure MN is the best place to talk about weight. It's so devisive.

Obviously nearly 13 stone and 5' 5" is pretty overweight. It's mad that this is even discussed.

I'm 5' 8" 9 stone 10 and not skinny. I'm slim. But I could probably drop a stone without anyone being concerned.

I was under 10 stone when pregnant.

I absolutely put no value judgement on weight. I understand the obesiogenic environment.

But the denial of facts is bonkers.

13 stone is pretty fucking hefty for a muscular 6 foot bloke. Why do people on MN think it's okish for a mid-height woman?

Valuable things I gleaned from your post:

  1. You wanted to share that you’re slimmer than me. Yes, it sounds like you are. Well done you!

  2. You wanted to let me know that I’m ‘pretty fucking hefty’. Yes, I agreed in my original post that I definitely need to lose weight. Thanks for the reinforcement!

  3. You can’t spell ‘divisive’ correctly. Maybe work on that.

OP posts:
Galiana · 25/08/2023 23:37

GalGadont · 25/08/2023 23:27

Valuable things I gleaned from your post:

  1. You wanted to share that you’re slimmer than me. Yes, it sounds like you are. Well done you!

  2. You wanted to let me know that I’m ‘pretty fucking hefty’. Yes, I agreed in my original post that I definitely need to lose weight. Thanks for the reinforcement!

  3. You can’t spell ‘divisive’ correctly. Maybe work on that.

Show quote history

Valuable things I gleaned from your post

  1. You, even though you claim to 'not feel obese', do actually know that you are.

  2. You took my point about 13 stone blokes personally.

  3. It's just bloody autocorrect.

  4. it's not personal. You started the thread. I didn't seek to attack you or anyone. Merely passing comment.

Original poster
GalGadont · 25/08/2023 23:40

Galiana · 25/08/2023 23:37

Valuable things I gleaned from your post

  1. You, even though you claim to 'not feel obese', do actually know that you are.

  2. You took my point about 13 stone blokes personally.

  3. It's just bloody autocorrect.

  4. it's not personal. You started the thread. I didn't seek to attack you or anyone. Merely passing comment.

Show quote history
  1. You seem to lack basic reading comprehension. Maybe work on that too.

3&4. Sure, Jan.

OP posts:
Galiana · 25/08/2023 23:44

Ok.

Fine.

You did ask the question though

And 'Sure Jan' is a super rejoinder to any question.

Galiana · 25/08/2023 23:50

I'm not sure why you took my comments as something to attack. They weren't meant as an attack at you.

You asked a question.

I gave my thoughts.

They weren't personal.

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 25/08/2023 23:54

MirandaWest · 25/08/2023 07:02

I was nearly into the obese category 3 years ago. I definitely did weigh too much - my legs hurt when I squatted down by the fridge and I wasn’t able to move as much as I wanted to. I was about 80kg at 5 foot 4.

I lost about 15kg relatively quickly and am still that now (although with some ups and downs). My weight now is just into healthy and I am in much better shape. I was a sleepwalking into obesity type person and so I do need to keep an eye on how much I weigh but it is worth it for me to be able to do the physical activity I enjoy.

How did you manage to shift it?

TetherMetherPip · 25/08/2023 23:58

@Galiana 8 stone 10 at 5’8 is underweight actually. People might well be concerned.

MrsSkylerWhite · 26/08/2023 00:01

I was you a few years ago. Took action. Feel so - so - much better now.

Galiana · 26/08/2023 00:20

TetherMetherPip · 25/08/2023 23:58

@Galiana 8 stone 10 at 5’8 is underweight actually. People might well be concerned.

8 stone 10 at 5' 8" is probably near the bottom of a healthy BMI.

I really don't think anyone would ever be concerned about that.

Unless they were 'concerned'.

WhichEllie · 26/08/2023 00:26

GalGadont · 25/08/2023 23:27

Valuable things I gleaned from your post:

  1. You wanted to share that you’re slimmer than me. Yes, it sounds like you are. Well done you!

  2. You wanted to let me know that I’m ‘pretty fucking hefty’. Yes, I agreed in my original post that I definitely need to lose weight. Thanks for the reinforcement!

  3. You can’t spell ‘divisive’ correctly. Maybe work on that.

Show quote history

What a strange, unpleasant response. You are the one that asked, after all.

In response to your OP, yes you are unreasonable to be surprised. Nearly 13 stone at 5’5” is significantly over where a person of that height should be in order to be healthy.

smilesup · 26/08/2023 00:36

OP we are similar sizes. I am definitely very overweight. It's not nice to accept but I am not a healthy weight. I've managed to lose and keep off a stone (over about 4 months) and keep it of for 3 months now by cutting out all but a tiny bit of Ultra Processed foods. I also feel so much better.

mindbogglingmaths · 26/08/2023 00:44

I'm the same. If I tell people I need to lose 3 stone they look at me as though I'm insane. But I was happily 3 stone lighter my entire adult life until the menopause hit.

It's rubbish. I've started Slimfast as a quick way to get me off snacking and excess sugar. Hoping it makes a dent quickly so I can get in the right mindset as 3 stone is a lot to have to lose.

Mummy08m · 26/08/2023 00:55

I agree with pp who said it's important not to place a value judgement. Op has got quite defensive at hearing that 13st is quite heavy even for a man, but she doesn't have to be defensive about it.

I get recurring gum problems. Partly, I think, I have a genetic propensity. But also I brush my teeth in a tearing hurry, not very thoroughly, sometimes only once a day. I've got some excuses - it's boring, I'm busy, mornings are manic with my toddler, I really hate the sensation of a toothbrush in my mouth because I'm really sensitive to certain textures.

Every single time I go to the dentist they point out my gums have problems and I need to brush them differently etc. If I don't, they'll only get worse and cause me real problems.

Being overweight is a bit like that, I guess. There's bound to be lots of reasons including genes, medical conditions, unavoidable lifestyle challenges like lack of time so requiring convenience food. It's not entirely your "fault". But at the end of the day, if we don't deal with it, the problem will get worse.

bellac11 · 26/08/2023 07:22

Mummy08m · 26/08/2023 00:55

I agree with pp who said it's important not to place a value judgement. Op has got quite defensive at hearing that 13st is quite heavy even for a man, but she doesn't have to be defensive about it.

I get recurring gum problems. Partly, I think, I have a genetic propensity. But also I brush my teeth in a tearing hurry, not very thoroughly, sometimes only once a day. I've got some excuses - it's boring, I'm busy, mornings are manic with my toddler, I really hate the sensation of a toothbrush in my mouth because I'm really sensitive to certain textures.

Every single time I go to the dentist they point out my gums have problems and I need to brush them differently etc. If I don't, they'll only get worse and cause me real problems.

Being overweight is a bit like that, I guess. There's bound to be lots of reasons including genes, medical conditions, unavoidable lifestyle challenges like lack of time so requiring convenience food. It's not entirely your "fault". But at the end of the day, if we don't deal with it, the problem will get worse.

Absolutely this

Im find this thread more and more bizarre, OP started a query about not realising that her weight would be obese and just like the majority of the population, its come as a bit of a shock, it felt lighthearted in that respect

Yet response after response has been defensive and personally attacking of other posters just talking basic facts. Strange

TetherMetherPip · 26/08/2023 07:50

So @Galiana BMI is a good measure of health until we’re talking about the bottom end? 8 stone 10 is below the bottom end of healthy. It’s my height, I’ve seen the photos of myself looking scrawny, after the event, when at the time I thought I just looked slim. Handily ignoring the fact I couldn’t ever get warm.

PrincessPeaches123 · 26/08/2023 08:05

I read a thread yesterday where someone commented that overweight people knew they were overweight. I don't think that's true. As our sizes have increased it's become normalised. I'm currently a size 8. I have a skirt (from principles) that I bought 26 years ago. It only just fits. It's a size 12. People think BMI is bollocks but only when they don't like what it says. Unless you are an elite athlete with visible muscle it's a fair measure IMHO.