To think people with money would never understand

[Canfeelamozzieflyingaround]

I live in an affluent area, we have a nice, but average house, I’m from a middle class background (I think!) but one parent from a working class background, all very down to earth.
I have a good job, degree educated, but it’s not a well paying job. In the holidays I supplement by doing some childcare/babysitting. I often babysit for wealthy people. Just being in their homes and everything about the way they are and the things they have is so different.
They would have no idea, for example that we live basically month to month and these little nights working for them pay some small bills or afford a small treat for my dc…to them it would be nothing.
Even the things they fill their fridges with and the sun creams and toiletries used (not snooping! Some on tbe coffee table, on the toilet etc)
I don’t know..I always feel less of an adult when I leave and wonder why my life didn’t go like this and theirs did

I know right? I mean, I like nice things but I didn’t know it was even possible to buy a £14 block of butter. I just didn’t know.

carrots from Normandy, grown in the sands, £22 a bunch. Yummy. Ice cream at £18 a tub. It’s delicious. The cat food bill is more than I spend on my family food for the week.

@Bacon88 You, again, have no idea, you don’t live where I do, the wages here are v v low and no they don’t match up to housing prices and the cost of living here at all! Stop posting about it when you don’t live where I do, it’s totally different in tbe U.K., it’s no comparison. I know the way our lives are and we struggle, hence my post and plan to return to the U.K.!!

Though she does talking about ‘coming back to’ to the UK, though she’s currently living elsewhere, but says people can’t survive on ‘local wages’ though it’s a ‘lovely lifestyle’. It makes her living hand to mouth a bit more puzzling, if she moved there by choice, rather than growing up there and having no option to leave — someone formerly on some form of ‘expat package’ who has for some reason stayed on and is now no longer being paid non-local rates? Or living somewhere with huge inflation and salaries haven’t kept pace?

Agreed. And presumably somewhere with quite archaic internet banking

But have you lived there for a long time, OP, and has the economic outlook changed so entirely since your arrival? The affluent people you babysit for — what fields do they wok in? How have their salaries kept up with rising costs, if, as you say, you also have a ‘good’ job that hasn’t ?

I don’t mean to sound as if I’m finger-pointing, but if you really are reliant on babysitting money to top up your termtime job in order to feed your children, and someone unexpectedly paying by bank transfer left you without food for the weekend, why haven’t you moved back to the UK before it got this precarious? I’m assuming it is the move is also currently financially impossible — do you rent or own? Is there any equity in your house? This doesn’t sound doable longterm? What about a second job that’s less spotty/better paid than babysitting? Is there another salary also coming into the household, or are you a single parent?

I think your original point has been proven by many of these responses.

I think it's a generalisation really, some people with money do, some don't. I'm lucky enough to earn 6 figures but used to be very much in the position of living pay check to pay check and having no savings and watching each thing I bought.

I always make sure to pay people right away and even if I have to miss an appointment, if it's a short notice I pay anyway as I'm acutely aware of the impact that can have on others and small businesses. We have a cleaner and our bank transfer had failed one week and she didn't mention it until the week after and I was horrified she'd went that long without payment. I made sure she knew to say right away if anything was delayed in future.

Equally I think there's plenty of people who don't realise that some people have to watch every penny and don't have savings....

Your middle class, in a nice house, in an affluent area but dont have ANY savings?

I'm 'lower' class, disabled and unemployed (been a carer for 30 years for a family member), previously homeless and live in a famed poverty stricken area and even I have basic savings too not live ass to mouth each month.

Its a basic skill to save. A skill many lack because of what YOU are moaning about (inability to understand theres a step down from what they're use to so can't adjust their spending). If I could do it with a house to look after and kids on an income of £12k a year anyone can... its not other people fault you haven't made any sacrifices to save a rainy day fund.

Some, yes, but others are, I think, more frustrated by the OP’s apparent passivity where she’s staring wistfully at the sun cream and fridge contents of people she babysits for, and keeps saying it ‘isn’t fair’, when one would expect more urgency and plans if she’s really at a point where, despite having a termtime job, a babysitting client happening to pay by bank transfer rather than cash leaves the OP’s children without food for the weekend!

Agree 100%

Amazing that some MNers are able to see what they're typing, with their heads so far up their own arses.

@DottyLottieLou Exactly what I was thinking! It’s like some people on the thread (not the majority, which is reassuring) have literally no idea how things can work and in different places.

To answer a few questions:

When we first came over, the wages were obviously much much lower than the U.K., but renting and mortgages, plus cost of living etc was more in accordance and we were able to live quite nicely, many people still struggled.
Over the years, the price of everything has gone up, wages really haven’t that much. We are lucky we bought when we did as rent is €800 for a one bed apartment..houses are in the thousands. The minimum wage is around €700-800 ish I think and many people are on this. People don’t survive, most still live with their parents with their own families. It’s a tourist place and the last few years many more people from around the world (with lots of money) have chosen to buy and live here, which has obviously pushed the price of everything up, especially property. These people don’t rely on the countries wages, they’ve either made their money, or they own their own companies or work online for companies abroad etc.
The banking isn’t an archaic system, if I’m paid by bank transfer, depending on their bank and mine, it can take from one working day to around five working days to go in my account
It’s useful to step out of the U.K. more or learn a bit more about other places around the world, all countries don’t operate in the same way as the U.K. This post has proved my original point completely in regards to a few posters.
We have had our house on the market here for almost two years.

@DottyLottieLou

What this is highlighted is that a lot of middle class people think they are poor and a lot of working class people are outraged by that..

She keeps having ago at me that my husband earns more as a factory worker than she does as a teacher because of the different countries. Being a teacher is not a low grade job regardless of country so speaking relatively she should not be on the bottom end of the spectrum and unable to feed her kids because someone paid her on a Monday and not the friday.

I want to know what country she lives in so I can move there and my husband in his factory job can earn more than a teacher??? Or is it all rubish and those on lower paid jobs are just better at managing their finances and find happiness else where in life??

It's the people without money who are taking exception to her. 🤔

Well yes people in different circumstances can never fully appreciate others situations, it's not limited to this and not sure why it would be a surprise to anyone. Partly this is because people don't feel comfortable saying they're skint, like you didn't say actually that doesn't work for me I need to money by x time.

@SecondhandSalute Again, you’ve proven my point with regards to my original post. There are many many people living from one moment to the next without being able to get out of it, regardless of how hard they’re working. Naivety from people who have had it easy perhaps.
As stated above, we’ve had our house on the market for almost two years, trying to move, in the meantime we work hard to keep our heads above water.

@Floppymoppy It would feel so humiliating to me

You'll find many people with money or well paying jobs didn't grow up with that level of comfort.

If you want them to know their paying you allows you to pay bills or have basic items, you can tell them. But their employers probably don't know or care about their home life either.

@Canfeelamozzieflyingaround

Yeah and you have been out the uk too long love. I live in a northern engish town and my mortgage is 1400 a month. You not getting much to rent for €800 euros here either. Sorry but you are in for a rude awakening back home as well.

If you want to say I have money that is utter bs. I am shocked by you lack of perspective...

@Bacon88 What are you talking about that I keep having a go at you about your husband?! I haven’t mentioned your husband once, no idea what he does, no idea his pay and wasn’t comparing it to my life. I only know where I live and the money we earn and the life we have? I’m saying what it is, what is your problem?

@Bacon88 I never said you have money? ?? I’ve barely engaged with you at all
Yes the average rent would be around €1500 for a house…the difference is the wage might be €800–1000 a month average?? Do you see?

@SofiaSoFar Right??!

@SofiaSoFar

You come across as the sort of person that struggle to see past yourself also. You have this moral superiority complex about how you can see other points of view and how you are so "humble"

YET you cannot see others points of view from many who have far lower earning potential than op but no we all up own behinds...

HAHA

@Canfeelamozzieflyingaround

What country is this as it is really not helping any of us. It is hard to believe you.

Why wont you say the country. I live in uk so what's wrong with saying it is X???

Or do you not want people to go check your claims out?

OP I work in a job I don’t particularly enjoy but it’s good money. I’m a university drop-out that moved here from abroad. I’m not saying it’s that black and white and easy to get a well-paying job but you definitely have options in life. And also, it’s an old cliche but having all that stuff also doesn’t make you happy either.

God this thread is fucking horrible.
OPyabu- you have no idea of peoples backgrounds. We don’t know where people have come from or how they got their money.
I have a friend who is a millionaire and totally gets it. I also know someone who does ok and likes to judge everyone else who doesn’t.
We do know that many posters on Mumsnet however are horribly smug and judgemental. It’s not about money it’s about grace, critical thinking and compassion
Op you sound like you are smashing it in every area other than finances and even then you are hustling to make ends meet. Who gives a shit what anyone else thinks? You sound fab