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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL taken the kids out without her mobile and its dinner time!

40 replies

Luckydog7 · 24/08/2023 17:20

Mildly irritated as this isn't the first time.

MIL is visiting which is lovely. Offered to take the kids out on their bikes (fine very helpful i can have a tidy). This usually means going up and down our cul-du-sac. Gone out 5 mins later and they've vanished. Ok Not really a problem.

Its now dinnertime they've been out for an hour. Called MIL, she's left her phone here.

We are surrounded by busy roads, kids are 3 and 5 and both learned to cycle without stabilisers in the last few days. MIL doesn't live here and doesn't know area well. She's mid 70s. (But fit and well)

OP posts:
Titicacacandle · 24/08/2023 17:22

Just make their dinner, I'm sure they'll be home soon.

watyawant · 24/08/2023 17:41

Titicacacandle · 24/08/2023 17:22

Just make their dinner, I'm sure they'll be home soon.

This.
And suggest she takes her phone out with her next time

Original poster
Luckydog7 · 24/08/2023 17:44

Last time this happened she turned up an hour later then planned and had fed the kids cake :(

Oh is back from work and has gone out on his bike to find them.

It irritating because she's been doing similar since ds5 was 6 weeks old. It wouldn't be a problem if she just took her phone with her.

OP posts:
cocksstrideintheevening · 24/08/2023 17:46

My mil had form for this. Pissed me right off.

She's go awol over nap / lunch / dinner time, feed them full of shit and then leave me to deal with the aftermath.

DinnaeFashYersel · 24/08/2023 17:53

It's not that big a deal - really.

Stompythedinosaur · 24/08/2023 17:53

Lesson learned, be specific when you say she can take the dc, tell her where and what time they need to be back.

But she sounds very irritating!

maddening · 24/08/2023 17:57

Hope you have them all back safe and sound!

Lucyintheskywithadiamond · 24/08/2023 18:23

Is it that big of a deal?

UndercoverCop · 24/08/2023 18:26

Why not say oh lovely yes take them out on their bikes, dinner will be ready at 5:30 , especially as she has form. yes she should take her phone, but some people aren't in the habit

HerMammy · 24/08/2023 18:38

We are surrounded by busy roads, kids are 3 and 5 and both learned to cycle without stabilisers in the last few days. MIL doesn't live here and doesn't know area well. She's mid 70s. (But fit and well)
Do you think she's incapable
of managing two kids? You're making a fuss for nothing, have a cuppa and chill until they get back

cakecoffeecakecoffee · 24/08/2023 18:42

It’s not a big deal.

did you tell her what time to be back and to stay in the cul de sac?

Mylovelygreendress · 24/08/2023 18:45

Do you think she deliberately leaves her phone so that you can’t contact her ?

Pinkpots · 24/08/2023 18:48

Enjoy the peace and quiet I’m sure they are having a lovely time.

Bivarb · 24/08/2023 21:02

That's really annoying. Now you're stressing about them missing dinner and have no idea where they are. MIL really needs to take her phone with her, what if she got lost or there was an accident? I don't understand why some grandparents are like this. My parents and in laws were great at respecting boundaries and keeping in contact. As a result I trust them completely and they can take their granddaughter anytime they like!

widowtwankywashroom · 24/08/2023 21:10

Bivarb · 24/08/2023 21:02

That's really annoying. Now you're stressing about them missing dinner and have no idea where they are. MIL really needs to take her phone with her, what if she got lost or there was an accident? I don't understand why some grandparents are like this. My parents and in laws were great at respecting boundaries and keeping in contact. As a result I trust them completely and they can take their granddaughter anytime they like!

Gets lost really
Presumably she's got a tongue in her head
How do we honestly think people survived without access to a phone 24 HR a day

Hufflepods · 24/08/2023 21:14

1 hr out on their bikes, no need to be dramatic it’s hardly the end of the world. ‘Dinner time’ isn’t a universal set time.

LylaLee · 24/08/2023 21:15

So she keeps doing this, but you keep letting her have the kids?

Islandermummy · 24/08/2023 21:16

Bit annoying but I think you have to take the rough with the smooth. You are lucky to have the help (though I know it probably doesn't feel like it right now). I'd love someone to take my daughter for a couple of hours at the weekend!

WeWereInParis · 24/08/2023 21:17

It irritating because she's been doing similar since ds5 was 6 weeks old.

I think you're overreacting a bit to this specific incident today. But if someone had taken my 6 week old out for a walk, left their phone, and just disappeared off with no idea of when they'd be back, I'd have been furious.

Changingplace · 24/08/2023 21:19

Last time this happened she turned up an hour later then planned and had fed the kids cake :(

Its really not the end of the world for kids to just eat cake now & again, I think you’re being a bit melodramatic tbh.

satellitesunshine · 24/08/2023 21:20

noooo… she gave them cake? that’s absolutely horrifying op!

Express0 · 24/08/2023 21:22

Oh nooo cake!! How dare she 🙄

Hollyppp · 24/08/2023 21:27

YANBU would annoy me too

LylaLee · 24/08/2023 21:28

Express0 · 24/08/2023 21:22

Oh nooo cake!! How dare she 🙄

Come off it. Stop piling on OP.

Dealing with a child who won't eat dinner because of cake, then is awake and hungry at night because of not eating dinner is bloody irritating.

Then the next morning, you've got a grumpy child because they didn't sleep properly.

Gunpowder · 24/08/2023 21:30

Ha ha! My mum does stuff like this all the time. Sometimes I’m a bit eye rolly when she gives them ice cream at 5.30 or doesn’t get back till 7 and their bedtime is late - but I know she is doing it because she loves spending time with them and that is to be cherished and also they love the treats and spontaneity.

I think next time she offers to take them I’d check she has her phone and lay out clear expectations of when you need them back, but I don’t think she’s being an evil MIL. (Taking your six week old out without a phone however was not cool, that would have upset me too.)