To think I can’t improve my body at 40?

[Fatatforty]

I am 5 foot 2, at 25 I was a size 8 and 8 stone. 2 kids later and 40 years old I am 10 and a half stone and a size 14. I am also wobbly, and covered in cellulite with an overhanging stomach. I tried a bikini on for my holiday today and cried. My body just looks so pasty and un toned.

I Am disappointed as for the last 12 weeks I have been going to the gym twice a week and I cannot notice any difference. Do I just need to give it longer? The trainer gave me a routine of leg press, leg abductor, chess press, shoulder press, and i also do 10 minutes on the cross trainer as a warm up and cool down.

Diet wise I have tried slimming world but don’t enjoy all the cooking, and calorie counting but I get hungry and go over every day. I’m starting to feel like this is it for me, am I being unreasonable for thinking it’s just too difficult to get the body I want.

I'm 42 3 dc and after dc1 and 2 was back to my pre dc shape no problem. Dc3 broke me because I was too tired to exercise and eat well. I'm 5kg more that I want. My stomach muscles fucked where I had a six pack and my thighs huge and cellulite.

However I'm 💯 of the opinion the problem and effort needed lies with me.

Harsh but true. Will be so much harder and I need to get my mind in gear. I'm eating healthy and I'm generally fit BUT I don't do what I need to do at my age.

So yabu in that it's achievable but just loads of hard work / time and effort plus planning etc

Just be wary with cardio. 5k burns about 250-300 calories, which is about one glass of wine or 2x big Toblerone slices. I run (ran, thank you ankle,) for my mind, rather than my body. Although 3 years of it did give good thigh.

Oh my god OP sort your head out, of course you can do it. You'll need to calorie count tho, but to make it easier pick a few things and just rotate them, so your not constantly counting the calories. Work out your BMR and keep in a deficit DAILY.
You have 2 hours to yourself every day use that time 100% on you.
By your own admission you've been going over your SW calories because your hungry or finding it hard to stick to and doing moderate exercise twice a week. So how could you really expect a huge turnaround in 12 weeks.
It's not easy, but being overweight or unhappy in your skin isn't easy either. Set yourself a challenge to walk 100km in 30 day, up the sessions to 3 times per week and keep in a deficit. Good luck OP! When is your holiday?

You need a proper trainer not just someone who works for the gym , to work with you using heavy weights and progressively overloading

Ensure you are drinking enough water and consuming 100g plus of protein a day

Exactly this. It’s about building a bit of muscle so your metabolism works harder.

I’m older than you and I do about 10 mins a day of what I’d call resistance Pilates - using your own body weight only to tone and build strength.

Plenty of free classes on Instagram, - Rachael Attard is good. I’d also massively recommend Wall Pilates. It works so quickly. Add in a fasted walk (ie before you’ve eaten anything in the morning) and you’ll burn quite a lot.

Whatever you do, ditch the scales. Your weight is irrelevant - focus on how you look and feel.

Eat clean but don’t obsess about it or you’ll create more problems for yourself.

40 is not too old!

You've only lost half a stone and you have visible abs. You must there for be pretty slender. Abs aren't visible on many women unless they are already very slim.

I'm in my 60s and have gone from a size 16 after I had my dch to a size 12 now. I really love Yoga with Adrien on YouTube - 20 mins a day. Am not sporty at all but I do this first thing and I'm getting stronger. Also gave up processed wheat, basically ( so bread, biscuits, pastry, pizza - all the crap). Eat home made granola in the morning (Nigella's recipe) plus a massive salad every lunchtime with maybe feta cheese or hummus. Then jacket potato with cheese and a green veg in the evening, or avocado and salmon. Dark choc and nuts too. Find something you like. Dance fitness? Swimming, running?

I was in the best shape I’d ever been at 48 ( usually a 12/ 14, big tummy, fat face). I started doing 30 day shred ( literally 25 minutes in your living room) and felt better but nothing to show in body shape.
Low carb, fast 800 and in 6 weeks the tummy was flat with definite muscle from all that shredding.After 3 months I was size 10/12 and had great toned arms, tight face and good bum and thighs.
It’s totally doable but it’s down to your mindset. Good thing about fast 800 is that if you stick to it for two weeks it will be noticeable that you are properly thinner . That will prove you are capable of shifting the weight and motivate you to keep going.

Yoga or Pilates will strengthen your body but it won't make you slimmer or build any muscle.

Absolutely NOT true. Regular Pilates will make you look fabulous, build muscle, slim your waist and make you super toned.

I definitely agree that it's hard, and gets harder the older we get. But it is also simple, ie calories in/calories out (read I definitely don't mean that in a dismissive way, simple, but very difficult). Particularly as a short person - like you I am short, in my early 40s, and I sit at a desk all day long for my job, so the fact is my actual real calorific need is sadly pretty small.

Regarding the twice weekly gym visits - I get it's frustrating, but think of it this way - that's maybe 2 hrs approximately out of your week, which won't really make a difference if the remaining 166 hours in the week are spent eating more calories than you expend. The reality is we would have to train REALLY hard for exercise to be the main factor in weight loss as opposed to diet. I used to do a sport at a fairly competitive level and did approx 22 hrs of hard training per week - it was brilliant as I genuinely could eat as much as I ever wanted and was losing weight. But that was enormously time consuming and when I was much younger and had fewer commitments.

I would suggest keeping up the exercise for the benefit of increased fitness and strength which is definitely beneficial (and of course increased muscle mass gives a great shape and higher calorie burning) but don't focus on it for weight loss, sadly and very tediously that will have to come from diet.

YABU If what you are currently doing is not working for you, then you need to adjust things.

You absolutely can lose weight and tone up at your age, I've been there, done that myself so know it's possible.

I used MyFitnessPal to calorie count, if you are too hungry, perhaps give yourself a bigger calorie allowance? I don't think twice a week in the gym is enough, but I didn't use a gym, I bought kettlebells and dumbbells and did home workouts using HASFIT on youtube for free. I did them 6 days per week and additionally walked a decent amount of steps daily too. It takes motivation and will-power, but you could easily get back to your pre-children weight by Christmas if you start now.

I’m in awe of people who can do it at home/on their own - I knew I needed to go somewhere, where they tell me what to do, take a weight off me and give me a heavier one etc

I found I Can Make You Thin by Paul McKenna very useful too. It's basically common sense but good to be reminded. E.g, only eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full (and throw it away if necessary), put your fork down between mouthfuls, don't do anything else while eating (like watch TV). Don't deny yourself anything - if you know you can have anything you like and nothing is forbidden then you might not feel you're denying yourself treats if you choose not to have them.

I started excessively exercising in my early 40s and never looked so amazing, I even had abs .
I did it all at home, following hiit people on YouTube doing burpees, frog jumps up the stairs etc, no gym. Oh and no carbs so no fruit either

There are loads of great reasons to exercise at our age.

• combatting the muscle loss that starts in our forties
• maintaining bone density
• improving health outcomes
• preserving our mental health.
• the feel good hit of endorphins

But pursuing a better looking body, or a younger version of yourself is a really undermining concept. Is thinness really better than being strong and healthy?

With food, I find any kind of restriction or denial always backfires. And counting calories is soul destroying. I keep it very simple:

Pick whatever carb you want ( gradually ease into browner ones over time or add in extra fibre) and then add on an equal or greater portion of protein and a helping of veg.

My only food rule is to never eat carbs without adding in some protein and a handful of fruit/veg. Sometimes that results in some odd combinations.

And if you’re still peckish nibble on extra protein and veg.

Dieting depletes the body and it’s pointless if your goals are health and strength.

If you’d like a system/book to follow, I’d recommend having a look at Louise Parker. I love her mindset of abundance, indulgence and acceptance.

YABU - you are no age at all!
Shake things up, find what exercise you enjoy and be consistent.

You can do it!

I had convinced myself that I'd never lose weight because I needed the motivation of a class (I had done classes in my younger pre-children days and loved them), I'd resigned myself to always being obese and never getting the excess weight shifted as I had no childcare to attend classes. Then someone told me about the free work outs on youtube and I thought I'd try one. Oh my goodness, I was hooked. Now I prefer working out at home and it saves me a small fortune. I lost 5 stone in a year!

The trick is increase how much energy your body burns, so you don’t have to decrease how much energy you eat.

You do this by increasing muscle.

Definitely not too late! It’s mostly diet - focus on cutting out ultra processed food and sugar, lots of fruit, veg, wholegrains, fish. Leave as big as gap as you can overnight between eating.

@Fatatforty I'm I worse shape and started to excersise more

It suddenly went boom after 12 weeks.

OP I am in the same situation as you. I do accept however that I can't look how I did at 20.

People say 2x a week workout is no use. But I have two kids and a job and a house to look after, how the fuck can I work out every day? I feel like I'm doing well if I manage twice. I do try to walk on the other days but equally I have joint problems so that is hard. The standards needed seem completely unattainable and make me want to not bother at all.

Food. Depending who you listen to, the main approaches are calorie counting or fasting. Calorie counting is not sustainable long term. I have been trying 16:8 to avoid calorie counting and I have actually put on weight. So people say oh well of course IF won't work if you aren't also in a calorie deficit. So what, you want me to starve half the day and then restrict the rest of the day too?

I feel really hopeless, can you tell!

I am 43 and in the past 3 months I have lost 2 stone by being in a calorie deficit. I have also:
swum at least 20 lengths of the pool 3 times a week
Attended 1 gym class a week
Done 2 gym sessions of cardio/strength a week
walking a lot of steps
lots of water
sleep

I started to look different in the past few weeks, as in people notice and I have gone from a size 18 to size 14. It is possible

food wise I eat way less carbs than protein

I have to get up at 6am to fit in exercise sometimes, it sucks

You what?!

Twice a week at the gym isn’t doing fuck all - any movement is great for your health.,

And no eating large amounts isn’t going to help the OP if she isn’t creating a calorie deficit, which is ultimately the only way to guarantee you loose weight.

OP I think the main thing is use a calculator to find what your calorie deficit is to loose a pound a week. Weight loss is 90% diet. Eat lots of protein and fibre-y veg to fill you op. Some sort of low GI diet guide will be helpful. So you get a grip on portion sizes, either use a portion size guide, or use an app like nutracheck while you get used to it.

could you possibly see a proper personal trainer for a few sessions to give you a proper weights programme. That will give you the biggest difference. Look for someone local with a good rep. Or, if you don’t have the cash, ask to see the gym trainer who is most experienced with weights and get a new program. As the PP says, the one you have is stuck in the 80s.

Work up to x 3 a week on weights

Work up to 10k steps / 45 mins walking a day.

An exercise habit has been shown to really help people keep weight off.

Add in other forms of exercise if you want, but build the weights and walking habit first.

It’s totally doable - I mean you won’t look 20 - but you can sort it out. But it takes time and needs consistency.