I am speechless AIBU to be?

[Glorytoglory23]

things are currently hard - I am doing a low pay job of 40 hours a week

Partner cant work due to arthritis but getting half his salary (£1,000) through insurance. Arthritis is better but he enjoys the peanut money he is getting for doing nothing and does not want to go out and work as he does not want to loose that small money from insurance

We have 2 kids and behind on all bills apart from rent.

My current job is remote and I do not need to have a camera on, I decided to get a similar job to do along with the current one even if it's for a month just to get the extra income to sort out owe d bills. Current job is customer service which means calls coming in randomly.

So 2nd job to start nxt month and 3 to 4 weeks of training and I thought I can carry on with my current job while training at the same time but it will be difficult & 2nd job will know if I am on camera.

I know this will be difficult even without camera but I need to do something fast for household income. I couldn't get another type of job for another time and having difficulties because o have CCJ's

So I told DH about the situation expecting him to hear me out but he flew off the handle, snapped at me saying it a stupid idea as if I am not trying to help us all as if he's bringing in enough to keep us afloat with the kids going back to sch and uniforms and shoes to buy and bill areas and lunch money etc

I was not expecting him to say oh carry on or lie to me but what I am saying is that he could have said it wont work in a different manner and tone.
When I told him he is snapping not about the fact of what I told him but because he can't stand me (because I think/feel like I am living with someone who is not in love with me and is got a problem with things that I say or do) & he said that my problem is the fact that I am not secure in myself .

ABIU to be pissed?

I know this is a long story and there is a relationship issue background to this that I can't go into

@SuperSange those tax codes yes but tax codes does not state what your other job is or where or what time you work. One could have a job during the day & another night job

You have bruised his ego, poor diddums.

Partner can work. Refuses to. Throws tantrum when you try to add to income.

Lots of people are giving you solutions but I think you need some empathy and understanding. I hear your frustrations and I get the sense you feel powerless in many ways. I think you know what you need and want to do and say, but are afraid to do so. It's very common for us women, who have been conditioned from birth that it's wrong to have needs or boundaries or a voice. If you can, find some support for yourself, find a way to separate out your finances, and what you might do if you parted ways. You may not want to do that, but it will give a sense of power over your life, confidence you can look after your kids and that in turn will give you the courage to have a chat with hubby about finances. I live in Oz so I don't know what supports are over there, but even if you decide not to use them, look them up and keep contact info handy. Also, noone is perfect. Remember why you married him and what his good points are too. It's easy to get caught up in the negative. Either way, good luck!!

You’re in a crappy situation and I think you’re walking into making it worse, I still don’t think you see it - hold your partner to higher standards, you shouldn’t have to be doing all this, breaching employment contracts etc to make up for his laziness. I thought it might help your case with him if you thought about it from a different angle. It’s clearly delicate though as you’re understandably quite stressed. I hope you work out a better solution, but there’s no need to be rude to people who are offering input when you come and post about it on the internet. In AIBU of all places 😆