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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to buy a dress advertised as a bridesmaid dress as a wedding guest?

73 replies

ThreePlusOne789 · 23/08/2023 10:39

I've left this super last minute and I'm now panicking. Wedding is Friday with the wedding breakfast starting at 9am and I'm busy most of today. I've seen a dress online that's pretty but it's labelled as a bridesmaid dress.

Wibu to buy this (and pray it fits and I like it on) and wear it as a wedding guest? I got so caught up with summer hols I just thought I'd have time

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Original poster
ThreePlusOne789 · 23/08/2023 11:00

I haven't been to a wedding in 10yrs when I was 17 so I'm really not sure what is a typical wedding time

OP posts:
SunsizOut · 23/08/2023 11:02

I think the second one in navy would be fine to wear as a wedding guest.
Also the shorter one with long sleeves is completely appropriate too.

DisforDarkChocolate · 23/08/2023 11:02

Are you sure there is something before the ceremony, that's new to me for a UK wedding? A wedding breakfast is just the first meal after a wedding (I thought).

I edited this post just because I could!

Hecatoncheires · 23/08/2023 11:04

I agree with PP that the the strappy one is fine. What's the problem with a maxi dress?

PrimalLass · 23/08/2023 11:04

People on here have really strong opinions on what is weddingy and what isn't.

Original poster
ThreePlusOne789 · 23/08/2023 11:05

DisforDarkChocolate · 23/08/2023 11:02

Are you sure there is something before the ceremony, that's new to me for a UK wedding? A wedding breakfast is just the first meal after a wedding (I thought).

I edited this post just because I could!

Edited

Yes there is a traditional ceremony before the actual register Office as they will serve food I just assumed that's what was a wedding breakfast

OP posts:
RuthW · 23/08/2023 11:05

ThreePlusOne789 · 23/08/2023 10:49

I have this already but wasn't sure if it was 'wedding style' I have a full leg sleeve and wasn't sure if it's appropriate to have it on show

That's much better add a lovely fascinator and buttonhole. Wear opaque tights if you are worried about too much leg

TenThousandSpoons · 23/08/2023 11:06

The strappy one is fine. The first one is too bridesmaidy. Wedding breakfast usually means the first meal the married couple have so that’s the 4pm bit. But are you actually also having breakfast with the couple before the ceremony too?

Original poster
ThreePlusOne789 · 23/08/2023 11:08

TenThousandSpoons · 23/08/2023 11:06

The strappy one is fine. The first one is too bridesmaidy. Wedding breakfast usually means the first meal the married couple have so that’s the 4pm bit. But are you actually also having breakfast with the couple before the ceremony too?

Yes they are immediate family so we will eat together and have a traditional ceremony first I just presumed that's why it was called wedding breakfast after reading this post I realise I was wrong 🤦🏽‍♀️

Thank you I've ordered the strappy one and will see when it arrives and keep looking.

OP posts:
Lydia777 · 23/08/2023 11:08

Order a selection from asos and return as it is free returns!

Ladyoftheknight · 23/08/2023 11:09

I always buy 'bridesmaid' dresses for weddings, I just check with the bride to make sure the colour and style doesn't match. I just like long evening gown style dresses, there's nothing wrong with it!

Original poster
ThreePlusOne789 · 23/08/2023 11:09

RuthW · 23/08/2023 11:05

That's much better add a lovely fascinator and buttonhole. Wear opaque tights if you are worried about too much leg

Show quote history

Thank you. I've ordered the strappy one and will try them both and see what else I can find.

OP posts:
DisforDarkChocolate · 23/08/2023 11:14

A day with an extra meal, what a treat. I hope you have a lovely day.

BranchGold · 23/08/2023 11:14

Get yourself on asos and use klarna if need be to order multiple choices/sizes so you can return them all but not have the stress of something arriving and not being quite right.

Curtains70 · 23/08/2023 11:34

They're fine. Wear what you want.

Everybody I know gets really dressed up for weddings at that wouldn't be out of place at all.

BiIIie · 23/08/2023 11:51

All 3 dresses are fine for a wedding, people get a bit funny on MN on what you can wear for a wedding.

Cynicaltheorist · 23/08/2023 11:51

ThreePlusOne789 · 23/08/2023 10:44

Sorry forgot to add them 🤦🏽‍♀️

Those look like full length evening dresses/ bridesmaid dresses and not really suitable for the average British wedding, I'd have thought.

This looks like a longer version of your short shirt dress if you want to keep your legs covered. It's long, it's smart, but it's not going to be mistaken for an evening gown/ ball gown.

https://www.monsoon.co.uk/shiloh-satin-shirt-dress-red-64639509.html

Shiloh Satin Shirt Dress Red | Evening Dresses | Monsoon UK.

Shop the Shiloh Satin Shirt Dress Red from the Evening Dresses collection at Monsoon UK.

https://www.monsoon.co.uk/shiloh-satin-shirt-dress-red-64639509.html

LizzieBananas · 23/08/2023 12:04

If it’s immediate family, why aren’t you a bridesmaid?

Sakura7 · 23/08/2023 12:18

LizzieBananas · 23/08/2023 12:04

If it’s immediate family, why aren’t you a bridesmaid?

Odd question.

Maybe she's the groom's immediate family, maybe there are no bridesmaids, maybe the bride has lots of sisters and picked a best friend instead. It's got nothing to do with the question OP asked anyway.

rainbowunicorn · 23/08/2023 13:31

LizzieBananas · 23/08/2023 12:04

If it’s immediate family, why aren’t you a bridesmaid?

You do know it's not a requirement to have immediate family as part of the wedding party don't you?

EarringsandLipstick · 23/08/2023 13:36

RuthW · 23/08/2023 10:46

That's not suitable for a UK daytime wedding.

Don't be silly. They are both perfectly suitable; I really like the 2nd one.

HairyBanana · 24/08/2023 07:19

Genuine question: why aren't these suitable? They're both pretty dresses. What other criteria are there?

DappledThings · 24/08/2023 07:53

HairyBanana · 24/08/2023 07:19

Genuine question: why aren't these suitable? They're both pretty dresses. What other criteria are there?

They look OTT to me. Like something you'd wear to a formal dance with the men in dinner jackets. Which some weddings ask for but is a different style to most weddings.

But there's nothing wrong with being more glammed up than others if you want to. I would feel like I was sticking out but others might feel like that wearing what I would chose to wear so it's up to the individual.

larlypops · 24/08/2023 07:55

You can definitely wear the scrappy one to a wedding, as long as not the same colour as wedding party which you said it wasn’t, hopefully you like it on

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