Airline cannot accommodate disabled toddler

[ChangingTheNarative]

Hi all,

I was wondering if anyone had any advice, I don't know if anyone will but it's always worth asking.

My son was diagnosed with a genetic disorder back in March (developmental delay, mild intellectual disability, autism and adhd) and he's currently on the ASD pathway.

We booked the long haul holiday in June and at that time we didn't know anything about his condition really or how it will affect him.

It's clear now he'll need a harness on the plane which the airline can provide but they have to be put on the backseats however they are booked so we can't have them which is fair enough.

We cannot take a forward facing car seat on and he won't fit in a rear facing one as he's the size of a 4 year old so they suggested a specialist restraint which is £3k (we can't pay this) and that's the only way around it.

I'm at a loss and don't really know what to do or what I can suggest to them.

I wanted to try and treat my son as normal as possible and take him on holiday but I'm thinking my only option may be to cancel?

I thought I'd ask here before I cancelled it though in case anyone has any ideas?

Im not sure what exactly but worth asking

Thank you so much.

As a parent to a child with SEN you honestly don't think the OP wouldve thought it through herself already. C'mon.

I'm sure OP know what her and her own child's needs and capabilities are flipping heck.

@OvertakenByLego how do you fit the special tomato to the airline seat if you don't strap it down?

Just interested for future travel!!

So pleased you're sorted, OP. Have a fab holiday when the time comes.

Oh, and you're doing great

The special tomato seat stays stable without strapping it to the back of the seat when you pull the base out slightly away from the back of the seat so the special tomato seat is in recline slightly even though the plane seat isn’t reclined, then let gravity do the work with DC sat in the seat. You use the plane seatbelt too. I’m not explaining this very well, but I will PM you where you can find more information including photos/videos.

Nothing to add apart from check in to assistance as you get to the airport. Say you need assistance straight through ( not just to the aircraft ) and they'll help you fast track through security. I travel with my disabled mum and an extra pair of hands through security is a godsend.
And I hope you all have a lovely holiday

Legally they have to make a 'reasonable adjustment'. Now if the back row isn't available is there a back row in Bussiness class?

Or they can spend the £2000 on the harness and use it for other children.

Or you could start a go-fund-me to raise the money to buy it and totally embarass the airline.

Thank you again to everyone who was really helpful and lovely.

I've bought the CARES harness and given the details to the airline so we're all ready to go.

Just for previous PP who was worried about him. He'll be absolutely fine when we're up he'll have his iPad, toys, snacks and will be living the life of Riley (is that the saying?? Haha). The harness was just to make sure he stayed put and felt secure during take off but he might surprise us and be absolutely fine but I'm just glad everything's sorted for us now.

There are different policies between airlines quite possibly because seat types vary in detail (airline option) and also as I think someone mentioned upthread, often each airline has to make a safety case for a policy to their regulator…and sometimes there is a lot of inertia at regulator level, rather than at the airline.

Yes the regs are a PITA but one of the reasons commercial flying is so safe is it’s regulated to the n’th degree in most parts of the world.

Sorry OP, don’t want to labour the point but, as you mentioned you’re new to all this, just reiterating this from viques. Get it in writing, and names/dates of people you speak to, print it out and have it with you (and the legal entitlement CAA guidance on Special Assistance too). Hopefully you won’t have any issues but having been in situations where assistance was arranged only to find it completely missing on the day, I’ve learnt my lesson.

id personally book a different flight

Luckily it's all sorted but thank you

Sounds like you’ve solved the harness problem. If it’s a matter of him feeling secure, would a weighted lap blanket help? You can also get tight sensory clothing (a very tight, elasticky t-shirt really helps my daughter). You can even get a sort of elasticated waistcoat which would feel a bit like a harness.

Tight clothes, chewy necklace and unlimited movies got us through a very long flight in the past.

Who are these snarky people?

Checkout
https://www.myfamilyourneeds.co.uk/support-child/holidays-for-disabled-children-air-travel/

and merushop.org - the Travelchair might be an optiot and you can Hire instead of buy. Lots of other info like grants.

And to the snarky ladies:
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."

(Keynote speech at Celebrating Inspiration luncheon with the WNBA's All-Decade Team, 2006)Madeleine Albright

Hi your son sounds remarkably like my daughter her genetic condition is 15q11.2, if its the anxiety side and feeling safe have you looked into compression vests or weighted vests they are great at providing the security our kiddos need and can be hidden underneath clothes so the ignorant ppl have less to gawp at xx

@Loopyloooooo Op said herself his needs have changed since she booked it

There are extended rearfacing carseats that suit up to 25kg and beyond. My son rearfaced until he was 5 in an axxkid minikid and only moved to a HBB to give the axxkid to his little brother . That being said. I think you might be mixed up and need a FF seat. Any 5 point harness booster seat would worn.

I know it isn't a normal request but could you speak to the consultant to discuss if there is any medication he could be prescribed to keep him calm for the flight? How many hours will you be flying? Would it be helpful if he was able to sleep for a good portion of the flight so he is calm when you get off the plane at your destination, having an ASD child I know how all the lights, people & noises can trigger meltdowns.

You think it’s ok to have a child ‘the size of a four years old’ forcibly restrained in aeroplane seat for the sake of a family holiday abroad. Seriously you need to make better decisions and holiday in the UK

Since you know better why not tell that to the FAA who recommend it as the safest way for all children to travel? I’m sure they’ll revise their policies based on your opinion 🙄

What's the difference between "retraining" him in a car than on the plane? His car seat does exactly the same as the harness and it keeps him safe and as mentioned he likes to feel secure so that's the reason for the harness not to restrain him as such because to be honest he can't walk so there's no where for him to go but thank you for your concern, maybe next year we can holiday in the UK.

To do so would involve having a 4 year old “forcibly restrained” in a car seat or if on public transport with additional needs a pushchair/wheelchair surely? So what’s the difference.

it’s about ensuring safety for all involved

Maybe the Op could carry him in her arms and walk to their next holiday destination??

Carrying him may also be classed as restraining though so maybe sitting him in a wheelbarrow and pushing would be better

My child is 'restrained' everywhere, every sitting position needs him to be harnessed in, he even needs blocks when laying on the floor or in bed to stop him rolling onto his stomach and suffocating. He would definitely need postural support on an airplane just like he does on any other form of transport does that mean we should never travel? The OP has stated her child needs the harness to be safe much the same as my child does but for different reasons.

@Sirzy
You're right! I feel awful having suggested such a thing.