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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DSis buying her DS my DS's birthday present early

34 replies

Hiding2Nothing · 21/08/2023 14:17

Maybe i am BU.

DS has a birthday soon (some days away) and has been VERY excited for a game on his console. We'll download it for is birthday and he has been looking forward to it for weeks.

This month my DSis and her DS are staying with us. Today i discovered that she's downloaded this particular game onto her own DS's switch already. This means my DS's cousin has received the game my DS has been aching for for his birthday already and has started playing it. So its all spoilers for my DS.

They fly home in a few weeks. AIBU to feel they could have waited until my DS received his game and they then both have it? (Its still a case of birthday kid and non birthday kid getting the same thing, but at least it wouldn't contain spoilers).

I feel a bit put out that she knew of the game because DS was excitedly talking about it and how much he's looking forward to getting it for his birthday and, while staying with us, buys it for her DS a week or so before birthday boy can get it.

Or is it only like taking her kid early to see a film that my DS can't yet see (I'd be less annoyed by that, somehow).

It just feels like DS's birthday present is spoiled and diminished, now that he's sharing a house with someone who got it, just like that, and early.

I would never do this and it feels off. AIBU?

OP posts:
cinnamonfrenchtoast · 21/08/2023 14:18

Sorry, I think you're being hugely unreasonable - it's just a video game!

Sirzy · 21/08/2023 14:19

If they are old enough to have video games they are old enough to understand other people may have that game before them

Cloudsandrainnotsunandsand · 21/08/2023 14:20

Maybe the diet of less information in future. She sounds quite mean op. To a dc it is never simply just a game.

yogasaurus · 21/08/2023 14:20

Does she even know your DC was waiting for it? I can see why it’s annoying for you, but yabu; it’s up to her what she buys her DC.

Whataretheodds · 21/08/2023 14:22

I can remember quite a few occasions as a child when I or my siblings tried out a toy that a friend or relative had and loved it, and we were then delighted to get our own for birthday/Christmas.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/08/2023 14:22

I think you're being really ridiculous. It doesn't take away from anything and your son is still going to want the game just as much. What your sister buys for her own child is none of your business.

LadyDanburysHat · 21/08/2023 14:26

I agree with others you are hugely overreacting to this. It's really not that big a deal.

Aprilx · 21/08/2023 14:26

No its fine. It might even make your son look forward to getting his own game more.

toomanyleggings · 21/08/2023 14:29

Is she travelling? I know I sometimes download new games for the kids when I know we’re going to be travelling a lot

Soverymuchfruit · 21/08/2023 14:32

Does your DS feel his present is spoiled and diminished, or is it only you who feels that?

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 21/08/2023 14:33

Admittedly I'm not much of a gamer so i might be wrong but surely most games aren't about surprises and spoliers its just about playing the game? So if he's already had a go at his cousins he'll probably just think 'can't wait to get mine now so i can play it whenever i want'. I think it's just a game and like any toy it's inevitable that people he knows will already have it.

Tinkerbyebye · 21/08/2023 14:34

Just give it to your son early, set expectations he won’t get anything else, job done

MindIfISlytherin · 21/08/2023 15:24

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 21/08/2023 14:33

Admittedly I'm not much of a gamer so i might be wrong but surely most games aren't about surprises and spoliers its just about playing the game? So if he's already had a go at his cousins he'll probably just think 'can't wait to get mine now so i can play it whenever i want'. I think it's just a game and like any toy it's inevitable that people he knows will already have it.

Videogames for older children and adults can most definitely have spoilers! I'm assuming this is the new(ish) Legend of Zelda game, which has a storyline and gameplay features to discover as you play through the game, so seeing someone else play it could really spoil the experience.

However, OP, I don't think you can police which videogames someone else buys their child unfortunately, so it will be up to your DS to make sure he doesn't see spoilers if doesn't want to. I'm assuming that, if he's old enough to play a game that's involved enough to have spoilers, he's old enough to decide how much he cares about seeing them.

hdbs17 · 21/08/2023 15:50

I think you are BU.

There's a whole load of videos on YouTube of people playing video games so your DS could quite easily watch one of those and see spoilers for the game.

You can't security check other kids consoles to make sure they haven't got a game yours doesn't.

iamwhatiam23 · 21/08/2023 15:53

I agree with you op! I think its at best very thoughtless and at worst spiteful and selfish! Not something I would do!

JenniferBarkley · 21/08/2023 16:07

Tinkerbyebye · 21/08/2023 14:34

Just give it to your son early, set expectations he won’t get anything else, job done

This was my thought - let your son have his birthday present a week early so the cousins can play it at the same time. He's old enough to understand that.

lanthanum · 21/08/2023 16:14

I'd go for "would you like your present early" too. It's not a surprise, so you're not spoiling that, and it sounds like he'd get more enjoyment out of it by having it now. If you're still in school holidays that's another argument for having it a bit early, too, while he has more time to play it (and it gives you a chance to sense how much regulation will need to be put on it when term starts, too).

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 21/08/2023 16:20

MindIfISlytherin · 21/08/2023 15:24

Videogames for older children and adults can most definitely have spoilers! I'm assuming this is the new(ish) Legend of Zelda game, which has a storyline and gameplay features to discover as you play through the game, so seeing someone else play it could really spoil the experience.

However, OP, I don't think you can police which videogames someone else buys their child unfortunately, so it will be up to your DS to make sure he doesn't see spoilers if doesn't want to. I'm assuming that, if he's old enough to play a game that's involved enough to have spoilers, he's old enough to decide how much he cares about seeing them.

Show quote history

Ok fair enough. My knowledge is more mario kart based 😆 but if this is the case I'd agree with your 2nd paragraph if he's old enough for that sort of game he's possibly old enough to say he doesn't want to see it being played incase it spoils it. Or give him it early

ManateeFair · 21/08/2023 16:23

I think you're being really precious about this. The world doesn't revolve around your son and his birthday. People can buy things for their kids whenever they like; they don't have to wait until your child's got them. She probably told her kid he could have a new game for the trip and he asked for that one. So what?

SequinsandStiIettos · 21/08/2023 16:26

As soon as she did that, I'd have let mine have it early, so he and his cousin could play it/explore it together.

Sisterpita · 21/08/2023 16:28

I get it, if they were visiting for the day or at a push the weekend it would be much less if an issue.

It’s the fact they are staying with you and it’s being played all the time with spoilers being given out for days on end. Your DS can’t avoid it in his own home.

I agree with a pp, I would give your son his present early so he can play at the same time.

Original poster
Hiding2Nothing · 21/08/2023 16:39

Totally see how some think IBU. Maybe allowing him to have it early is a good shout. I agree its not my business what games my nephew is, its purely the timing that seems off. And not even mentioning to me that this was going to happen. I found out via DS.

downloaded for travelling? Not really. She bought it for him yesterday, a week into staying with us, having learned of the game via DS talking about it. They're staying a couple of weeks more.

I might just mention I felt it was a bit off. We have a good relationship and i don't think there were any ill intentions. Maybe just not thinking.

DS does not seem upset and his cousin has, fortunately, allowed him to play on his console, so like some have said, it can be fun to have a go before getting your own. I'm probably just being precious.

OP posts:
ladyvivienne · 21/08/2023 16:45

My sister? No i'd be fuming. Is she always this insensitive?

MumToBeOf2 · 21/08/2023 16:46

YABU.

Is her son not allowed to read books before your son? Watch films? Watch TV?

veryberrypericherry · 21/08/2023 20:44

I have a friend a bit like this. Her son Little Lord Fauntleroy is very very special and wonderful... and if he hears that my son has had something, then she'll get if for him. Usually it's something my DD had for his birthday. One classic was her running out in a panic and getting her elderly Mum to sign up to an iPhone contract for him when he was 10... purely because she'd heard my DS had a phone - in actual fact I'd let DS borrow an old crap iPhone to play Minecraft on because he didn't have a games console or iPad. It's just her spoiling him.

Unfortunately her behaviour is turning him into a really not nice kid and he's really nasty to her. She still does it though.

Maybe she panics about her DC not having things like my friend does? It's really bad form to do it right before your DS's birthday though.