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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DSis buying her DS my DS's birthday present early

34 replies

Hiding2Nothing · 21/08/2023 14:17

Maybe i am BU.

DS has a birthday soon (some days away) and has been VERY excited for a game on his console. We'll download it for is birthday and he has been looking forward to it for weeks.

This month my DSis and her DS are staying with us. Today i discovered that she's downloaded this particular game onto her own DS's switch already. This means my DS's cousin has received the game my DS has been aching for for his birthday already and has started playing it. So its all spoilers for my DS.

They fly home in a few weeks. AIBU to feel they could have waited until my DS received his game and they then both have it? (Its still a case of birthday kid and non birthday kid getting the same thing, but at least it wouldn't contain spoilers).

I feel a bit put out that she knew of the game because DS was excitedly talking about it and how much he's looking forward to getting it for his birthday and, while staying with us, buys it for her DS a week or so before birthday boy can get it.

Or is it only like taking her kid early to see a film that my DS can't yet see (I'd be less annoyed by that, somehow).

It just feels like DS's birthday present is spoiled and diminished, now that he's sharing a house with someone who got it, just like that, and early.

I would never do this and it feels off. AIBU?

OP posts:
latenightpartyrings · 21/08/2023 20:49

I think you are right to be annoyed - if I was the sister and my son asked for it, I'd explain that cousin is getting it for his birthday and it would be fairer to wait until then. Especially if he's getting a much-awaited her bday present as an everyday purchase.

RJnomore1 · 21/08/2023 20:53

I can almost guarantee you one if your sons friends (or more) have it and they’ve talked about it, and your sons been watching oriole play it online.

Don’t be that person. If it’s something you can multi play it might be nice to give early.

MichelleScarn · 21/08/2023 21:44

So because your son wants something,.other people can't have it before him, and your sister is the one with the spoiled child?.

MumToBeOf2 · 22/08/2023 09:57

latenightpartyrings · 21/08/2023 20:49

I think you are right to be annoyed - if I was the sister and my son asked for it, I'd explain that cousin is getting it for his birthday and it would be fairer to wait until then. Especially if he's getting a much-awaited her bday present as an everyday purchase.

It's not fair to deprive a kid of something because someone else has to wait for it

Stoptheworldpls · 22/08/2023 10:23

You you find our your nephew is due to receive a gift.
You then buy your son that gift for not an reason.
OP has a reason to be upset.
I would count down the days u til they both p'd off lol

Stoptheworldpls · 22/08/2023 10:25

Op. Your sis is savage.

Clymene · 22/08/2023 10:28

Hiding2Nothing · 21/08/2023 16:39

Totally see how some think IBU. Maybe allowing him to have it early is a good shout. I agree its not my business what games my nephew is, its purely the timing that seems off. And not even mentioning to me that this was going to happen. I found out via DS.

downloaded for travelling? Not really. She bought it for him yesterday, a week into staying with us, having learned of the game via DS talking about it. They're staying a couple of weeks more.

I might just mention I felt it was a bit off. We have a good relationship and i don't think there were any ill intentions. Maybe just not thinking.

DS does not seem upset and his cousin has, fortunately, allowed him to play on his console, so like some have said, it can be fun to have a go before getting your own. I'm probably just being precious.

Nah, that's shitty behaviour.

It sounds like it's as much about you as it is about your DS. Is she jealous or resentful of you? Why are they staying with you for a month?

iamwhatiam23 · 22/08/2023 10:36

@MumToBeOf2 it would be unfair to deprive the child of his game if he was in his own home but to give it to him in op's home knowing full well that her son is desperate for the game and op has in fact got it for him as a birthday gift is just plain vile! Could the child simply not have waited until he went home or his cousin had his birthday? It was teaching the child that what he wants comes before anyone else's feelings, not good parenting imo.

Original poster
Hiding2Nothing · 22/08/2023 23:35

MichelleScarn · 21/08/2023 21:44

So because your son wants something,.other people can't have it before him, and your sister is the one with the spoiled child?.

I don't think I've said anywhere that her DS is spoiled. He's a sweet kid, and innocent about all this.
If anything, he's been nice by letting his cousin play the game on his console.

Its purely the timing and that it's taken the shine off an eagerly awaited birthday present in his own home, days before his birthday.

Perhaps what some pp have said is true and it's more about me than DS.

Thank you for the varied input. I feel I'm not BU but not everyone would be annoyed. Which is ok, too.

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