To realise I don’t care enough/that much

[smallrabbitfeet]

I work for a large organisation (finance)

I have two DDs aged 9 and 6 and a very busy home life. I’ve always worked full time and my DH has for long periods worked away. I’ve always been stressed and working hard and putting the most in that I can.

then over the past month or so (maybe 2) I’ve realised that I just don’t care anymore about the job. I still work hard but I can’t get worked up. The people I work with are VERY serious and need things done yesterday. I’ve suddenly had this epiphany that they can wait and if they’re annoyed then I just don’t give a fuck.

im 40 now and I don’t know if it’s that or I’m just completely burned out.

anyone else had this?

p.s I am still putting in the effort - I’ve just lost interest completely.

Yep we come to realise that family is the most important thing in life and an email can wait. You can only do what you can and there's no point stressing at all. It's just a job and you're just a number and they'd replace you quite easily. Do the work but don't let it take over your life.

I'm wanting a career change but struggling for inspo atm. Maybe you should start thinking of something new too.

I feel similar about my job at the moment. I am not sure if it's just the company, the job itself or something else. I am casually looking for other roles to see if anything takes my fancy, but also seriously considering making a concious decision just to carry on not caring, make the most of what my current role brings (flexibility, decent money and I can do it with my eyes closed) while I figure out what I want.

The emotional detachment from the need it yesterday panic sounds both healthy and like it might make you better at your job. Thats what good leaders usually have

I had similar a few years back - I'm 44 now so around the same age as you.
I realised I didn't care about the products our company made while my colleagues were passionate about them.
I took a sabbatical and am now about to retrain in something else that I have found a passion for.

Yes, I think this is a version of what is sometimes called a mid-life crisis. Except that sounds like a negative thing, and it's not really. Just a change in your mindset and priorities.

Absolutely, I have a senior well-paid job and I really could not give a fuck anymore. I don’t get it when people say they’re passionate about the company and what we offer, how could they be? I do my job (well) and get out

I’ve set a time limit on my current career - Christmas 2027. I turn up and do it (and m good at it) but I don’t feel love for it. Once the time limit arrived we will be in a secure financial position and I can afford to redirect/retrain.

Yep. People (manager/colleagues/friends/dh) are expecting me to push myself and move to the next level, which would require me to do a Masters while working full time. I simply cba! I'm more than happy to coast for the time being at least.

Good for you.

Do a fair days work but allowing people to burn you out by THEIR demands is never wise long term.

Yes, I have a big DGAF attitude at work now. I started the role at 4 months pregnant, six weeks to go now.

The whole org is cranky and demotivated about big redundancies that took place before I joined, so the fact that I waltz in going "tralala, what needs doing? Ok, must be done by 5 though, I have antenatal tonight, dobedoo..." is kind of refreshing.

And to be honest, the best people I've managed didn't give a fuck either. They knew the deal: you do tasks, I pay you money. The rest of it is not worth worrying about.

Sounds great. Very freeing

I think anyone who's been through a reorganisation or two probably has this position. Really focuses the mind on exactly how important you are to the company. I do my job well enough and log off.

It sounds like you’ve actually found a very healthy mindset! Working hard during your agreed working hours (AND NO MORE!) is how it’s supposed to be in my view. It’s not fair on you to let it take over more of your life, especially given how often companies restructure and have redundancies etc.
Congrats OP!

Yes I think it's very healthy. You suddenly realise what is more important. Work is actually nowhere near as important as family.
I still worked hard but I stopped being afraid to say no if I thought something was unreasonable. I also realised that when people say they need something immediately that is very rarely true and tomorrow or in a few days time is usually completely fine

I left asset management for this precise reason.

I decided they could stick their intense global key data analysis meetings up their arses and off I went to become a housewife.

Not me so much by my NDN as a teenager had a high powered job for a local council and took early retirement to sick leave (stress) in her 40s/early 50s. She started an aromatherapy massage business from home eventually worked with a big name in that field and completely turned her life around. Her DH also high powered council job got early retirement too but he’s not been well for years.

DB retrained in film and went and did a film degree in late 30s, works in that business now. Not saying he loves it but it’s more him.

I’d look into your options and retrain. I’m looking into similar at 51 years old

Yep Im with you OP. I left my previous role after 20 years with the same company. Totally lost all enthusiasm. Work now at a medium pace in the civil service! I make sure I hit my target every week and give 100% whilst at work. But the second my work day finishes im outta there!. Its all quite liberating

Welcome to the 40’s. My give a fuckometer broke at 40. Meh!
Not unusual to now not give a fuck. Run out of steam to care any longer.

I took on my final job before retiring with the attitude of ' I really don't give a flying fu*k, I'm just seeing my time out'
I was due to be with them for a 2 year fixed contract. I was there for8 years.

The not giving a toss,simply freed me to do things, say things and plan things I'd never done before, all really successful😁Im retired now, thankfully, but so grateful that I had a lovely route into retirement rather than the high pressure work of before.

Yep, same here when I hit 40

I enjoy my job but I mainly have the attitude that no one is going to die if I don't do something. It's neither life/death nor rocket science. And that helps to keep perspective on the essentials.

I came to this conclusion too and stopped working. I appreciate I'm very lucky to be in this position but if I was still working, I'd definitely be in the same boat.

There's much more to life.

I read that the only people that will remember that you worked late are your children. Also that if you were to die tomorrow your workplace would quickly replace you but you're irreplaceable to the ones you love.

Pretty powerful stuff.

God I feel this. I got emailed on Friday evening by someone wanting revisions to a piece of work done by Tuesday, even though from her side it was weeks late. So this is unscheduled work and suddenly my problem. although 2 days seems ok, I was OOO today and have meetings all day Tuesday. There was no ‘do you have time to do this?’. She clearly expected me to work over the weekend for her. Years ago, I would have. But fuck that. I don’t work weekends and refuse take on other people’s problems anymore. I just don’t care!

It's probably healthier than to care too much and act like you're the only thing keeping your workplace going. It's just a job.