When people (men?) huff at you for ridiculous reasons.

[GingerIsBest]

This is a very minor, not important thing that nonetheless has me slightly bemused. So... to MN for a verdict!

We have a dropped kerb for our driveway, as does our NDN on the left. On the right, in the gap between our other NDN's driveway and our driveway there is space for two cars to park (free, unrestricted). As I was leaving the house, about to get in the car to go do some shopping on Saturday, a local delivery driver pulled up and blocked our driveway. I recognised him and asked if he had a parcel for us. He said no, it was for our NDN on the left. So I said, very politely and cheerfully, "oh, great, I'm just heading out can you please move first".

Two very important points here:

1. Our NDN, to whom he was ACTUALLY delivering, had a driveway that he could have blocked and he had chosen NOT to.
2. BOTH of the spaces between us and the other NDNs were empty.

He huffed at me and rolled his eyes, but did move.

I wasn't upset or angry but definitely a bit bemused and also slightly amused at this man being so shocked that I wouldn't just wait for him to do his job. My view is that there were plentiful spaces and it is ridiculous that because it is marginally easier for him to block our driveway (although, I don't know why but assume there must he a reason that he did so), why should I have to wait.

I think Dh thinks I should have just waited for him to deliver the parcel and that I was being difficult (DH is, admittedly, a people pleaser of ridiculous levels that has caused arguments before).

So MN, should I have been a good little woman and waited or should he have just parked in a way that didn't block my driveway in the first place?!

Was he out the van? If so I reckon you could just have waited. If he was in it still surely it's no skin of his back just to drive forward or backward a little so you can get out.

Delivery drivers often stop in front of our hosue which blocks us in. Normally I just let them get on with it as it's just a minute, but one flicked his cigarette onto our drive. I made him get out and pick it up. He rolled his eyes but did it.

You couldn't wait 30 seconds for him to take the parcel to the door? You know delivery drivers working conditions are so bad they get penalised for stopping to pee, their time is so tight?

You were very very unreasonable, sex has nothing to do with this.

No, he pulled up while I was in the driveway. I started walking towards him because I assumed he had something for us and I figured I'd just grab it and save him coming to the door, but it turned out he didn't. And yes, to roll forward or back was, literally, the work of SECONDS, so I really didn't understand why he'd blocked us in in the first place or why he thought it was such a big deal to block the driveway he was visiting instead of mine!

You deserved to be huffed at for that.

If you are constantly being huffed at it might be because you are often unreasonable.

Well, I can't say I'm constantly being huffed at. But I see people huffing at other people fairly often. And too often, the "buffer" is a white, middle aged man who seems to think everyone else should be facilitating him.

I am surprised that so many people think that I absolutely should have stood around and waited for a man to deliver a parcel instead of the man simply parking in a way that was not inconvenient for him and would not have taken any more time. But sure, my time is clearly much less important than his.

haha. "buffer" was a typo. But sort of amusing in this context. obviously was suppose to be "huffer"

I find I become quite "difficult" when people are thoughtless twits to me too OP. 😁

Mate, seriously this was a complete non-event and look at all the typing about it?!

Shit happens and sometimes you get an eye-roll.

It's life.

Aaaah, the ol' "racist" accusations when I comment on the entitlement and privilege of white men. Okay.

I'd call it racial prejudice, perhaps, but not racism. Also, don't forget I was being agist too.....

Look, I get why people think I'm totally OTT. But at the end of the day, this man chose to get huffy with me when HE blocked MY driveway when there were plenty of other places to park, one of which was, in fact, CLOSER to where he needed to be.

I am tired of being treated like I'm some kind of diva if I don't bend over backwards for other people. And anecdotally, I note that more often than not, it's white middle aged men who expect this from everyone else around them.

Last week I watched a man get huffy with a woman who was trying to carry two cups of coffee in a crowded coffee shop and he bumped into her, causing her coffee to spill. I'd say it wasn't really anyone's fault - a crowded spot, awkward to navigate. But when she looked at him he snapped at her that HE wasn't going to apologise, she should look where she was going and it was clear that she had been about to do the mutual-over-apologising thing and was totally taken aback by his aggression.

Sadly, I experience this sort of thing occasionally, I see it happening to other people regularly and I hear about it often.

Oh give over, it's not racism to say that white middle aged men have privilege!

I bet he would have moved without question had you been another man.

I am actually genuinely fascinated by the responses on here. I would have been inconvenienced for closer to 2 minutes, but okay, let's agree it's a short time.

However, the fact that I should just suck this up when he could have done his delivery without inconveniencing me or anyone else doesn't seem to be an issue for anyone?

Of course it's entitled. he came barrelling down the road and pulled over onto my driveway and instead of taking the 10 seconds or less it would have taken to reverse backwards by 2m so that he would NOT block me, everyone thinks I should have just stood passively by and waited for him.

Why on earth is MY time so much less important than his? Particularly when the time it would have taken for him to fix it ws genuinely seconds - he hadn't even turned off the ignition yet - vs the longer time to wait for him for me?

He sounds rude and it sounds like a mildly annoying incident 🤷‍♀️

@GingerIsBest - I hear you with the huffers. Although it's a generalisation, and of course not all men are like that , many men have an inbuilt sense of entitlement - including the delivery driver you refer to. I get what other posters are saying - it would only have delayed you a few minutes - but why should you be delayed at all?

Slightly linked, to my great joy, I learnt the phrase "patriarchy chicken" on Mumsnet. This is a game you play by not giving way completely when walking on the pavement simply because a man is approaching from the opposite direction. This weekend, DD and I were walking through an underpass which had lines and signs indicating which side one should walk. A group of lads came towards us, walking on the wrong side. Out of habit, I started to move over. DD grabbed my arm and said, "Patriarchy chicken, Mom!" So we played, and won :)