To be offended by this?!

[Justanotherdobby]

I went out on a girls night with some friends and made more of an effort than I usually do. I was feeling quite good in myself which is rare these days. The girls I went out with are very into taking constant photos every time we go out which I don't mind as such but do feel is a bit ott and I don't always feel like I want my picture taken but I obliged them when they asked as I felt I looked good.
I've just seen my friend has posted several of the pictures from the night and she's put a filter on my picture that I believe is supposed to make me look younger but honestly makes me look like some sort of AI 12 year old and is noticeably fake. I'm 35 and I'm in decent nick (I thought!). It's really hurt my feelings as she hasn't done this on any of her other photos either of herself or other friends and it feels like a dig. She is quite image conscious as she is on the larger side and I can't imagine her taking kindly to me posting a picture with a slimming filter used only on her. AIBU to be offended?

Christ, do not do this, imagine if it gets picked up by the press!

@Itsnotrightbutitsok I'm not bothered about being made but I don't want random pictures of me on the Internet 🤣

I agree! And what's it with women on here always telling the OP to 'ignore, block, delete' etc, when the person in question has been totally unreasonable. There is no need to 'quiet and gently' (boak) drift away from a friendship. If someone's pissed me off, or there's a problem, speak about it. We can stick up for ourselves!! Or shall we go back to not saying anything to be the bigger person not cause any fuss and be quiet.

This women isn't your friend OP. I'd just tell her that you don't appreciate being filtered or airbrushed. And on the subject of trying to talk it out, tell her you don't appreciate being dug out by what you eat, the men you date, the standards you have. She's a weirdo!

There already is because the stupid friend has already posted it online😏

Post post post post!

@washingmachineslivelongerwithcalgon Ahahaha! Whilst I have to admit this is a good point, it's not happening I'm afraid 🤣

As an isolated incident I'd give her the benefit of the doubt, but she clearly has form for this sort of weird behaviour.

Sounds like she has a lot of insecurities and is perceiving criticism in some of the things you say, and so reacts as though being criticized. I'm curious to know if she does this with anyone else in the group or if it seems to just be you?

@yellowsmileyface Tbh I'm not sure. She seems to be generally very brash/argumentative but there have been a few times where its felt quite personal. I'm a newer addition to the group as the others have all known eachother since they were children and I'm a few years younger so I have wondered if that has something to do with it. It doesn't feel very nice either way, especially as it can be very unpredictable things that seem to set her off.

It could be that she's especially jealous of your age, or resents there being a new addition to her little group that goes way back. I'd say just ignore her, but I know that's easier said than done. It would be a shame to have to distance yourself from the whole group because of one difficult person though.

Sometimes my phone chooses a face in a group photo and "autotunes" it, giving a smooth complexion and makes eyes pop etc. I turned it off when I realised. It could have been an accident and she didn't purposely put the filter on you but if she did, she's nasty and you don't need a "friend" like that.

But it’s already on the internet?!

Sorry OP but we can’t possibly say if you’re BU or not when we can’t even tell the difference between the 2 pics.

@yellowsmileyface Hmm I think it's unlikely to be the age thing, she has way more energy than me and is much more social whereas I'm a bit of a hermit troll haha! I may have possibly upset the group dynamic a bit, ah there's so many politics with female friendships, this is why I don't go out 🤣

Lots of cameras will also adjust to the light and have automatic blemish correctors etc.

These 2 examples are the same photo but just taken in slightly different lighting or angles.

You can take 2 photos and look very different depending on the angle snd lighting.

I don’t understand why you’d think she’d be jealous of you but the post a photo that is designed to make you look better.

One in different lighting.
It looks filtered but it’s not.

@Itsnotrightbutitsok Lol, there's quite a big difference between a picture being posted on a friends IG and posting on here?! I'm not sure if you're deliberately being obtuse or just really want to see my picture for some reason but its not happening you big weirdo 🤣 I have to say some of the reactions on this thread have really tickled me and I'm no longer upset so thanks for that!

"I don’t understand why you’d think she’d be jealous of you but the post a photo that is designed to make you look better."
Ok, this is the point you keep missing. Noone in their right mind could possibly think the picture makes me look better. It looks decidedly odd and clearly not real/human. In the examples you've given the woman looks human in all the pictures, that's not what's happened here!

We seem to be the only ones, so I wouldn't worry about it, but I also think that you are over thinking it. It's just one photo, she obviously likes you and wants you included in the group. I might think it was a bit weird, but then I'd just move on.

If you think that your photo is somehow secret or protected because it’s on IG then I have some news for you 🤣

So you think your friend is jealous of you because she posted a photo which made you look good.

You also thinks she being manipulative because she said there’s not a filter.

You won’t post the photo for MNers to judge whether it has a filter or not because you don’t want it on the internet, even though it’s already on here.

I stand by my earlier comment that you sound like you love the drama.

If you don’t like this woman then stop being friends with her. Simple.

My camera has a setting that does that. It’s very annoying when I accidentally switch to it (which happens easily and often!). She could be telling the truth.

@Fallingthroughclouds It's totally fine to think I'm overthinking it, perhaps I am. There has been some weird behaviour from her towards me that has made me think there is some negative intent here.

@Itsnotrightbutitsok

"If you think that your photo is somehow secret or protected because it’s on IG then I have some news for you 🤣"
I didn't say this or even imply it?!

"So you think your friend is jealous of you because she posted a photo which made you look good."

I wasn't the first person to mention jealousy and the point is that I don't look good in the photo.

"You also thinks she being manipulative because she said there’s not a filter."

The filter is undeniable. The fact she's denying it is very weird yes. Noone said manipulative.

"You won’t post the photo for MNers to judge whether it has a filter or not because you don’t want it on the internet, even though it’s already on here.

I stand by my earlier comment that you sound like you love the drama."

You think because I don't want to put a photo of myself that I didn't take or even really want to pose for on an anonymous website and therefore attract more attention that I love drama?!

I'll stand by my original comment too: you are a big weirdo and not very good at comprehension!

I read that filtering photos is not a good thing if you go missing no-one will know what you really look like.

I hope the positives of having her as a friend out weigh the negatives and this blows over.

I've seen this on lots of missing people posts on fb.. women usually. I always think why not use a normal one and realise they don't have any.

Ignore the users who are being pedantic. Of course there's a big difference between posting selfies on IG and on MN. Of course it would be very silly to post the photos here. They're just being nosy and finding reasons to justify it.

In her defence my camera on my phone does this. It's got an automatic filter it seems, I could probably turn it off but I quite enjoy looking 18. But if I click portrait rather than photo it only homes in on one person. Thought it was a glitch in my phone, but maybe it's a known thing