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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so fucking fed up about this *trigger warning- photo*

87 replies

woopsididitagain · 21/08/2023 00:02

I’ve been a nail biter all my life. I’ve tried EVERYTHING. Gloves. Plasters on my fingers. Horrible tasting nail polish. Stress balls. Therapy. Nothing really makes a difference. I’ve bitten my nails since I grew my first tooth (no joke, every baby photo of me shows my fingers in my mouth biting my nails). I know it’s a filthy habit and more germs than a toilet seat etc but I physically cannot help it. I even do it in my sleep. If I go to sleep with gloves tied round my wrists I’ll wake up in the morning with them removed and my nails all bitten down. I hate my nails so so much and feel disgusting- I don’t know why I can’t stop it. I don’t bite the skin around my nails it’s just the nail itself

it’s definitely worse when I get stressed, even slightly or normal life stresses. I’ve tried therapy etc but made no difference.

ive realised tonight that I’ve probably damaged the pain receptors in my finger. Over the last week I’ve bitten one of my nails to the point there’s almost no nail left at all. It hurts but not as much as it would to someone else. I don’t want to bite my nail more but I genuinely think when I wake up in the morning I’ll have bitten it off in my sleep

not really sure why I’m posting but I’m in pain and feel so upset with myself :( I hate this habit so much. Has anyone ever been able to kick it for good? Or does anyone have advice for how I can stop my finger throbbing now as I’m scared it gets infected (my own fault I know but I didn’t even realise I was biting my nails until it was all off)

OP posts:
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Original poster
woopsididitagain · 21/08/2023 00:03

I just put a trigger warning as I know some people are a bit squeamish, and I drew the back line around it on the first photo so it was obvious where the nail is as it’s not clear with the photo quality x

OP posts:
FatNoMoreSue · 21/08/2023 00:05

Whoa! That looks painful 🙁

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 21/08/2023 00:06

Can you soak them in salt water ? They look so sore. What about going to get false nails, would you still bite them? I used to be a biter , I'm not now though so it can be done.

peachgreen · 21/08/2023 00:07

Oh goodness OP, that really is a bad nail biting habit. I’m so sorry. I was a nail biter for years and I know how hard it is to quit.

The beginning is the hardest part, once they’re all nice and you can paint them it gets easier. But honestly I couldn’t stop until after I treated the underlying anxiety. Fluoxetine is what worked for me.

Original poster
woopsididitagain · 21/08/2023 00:07

Sorry I should have said, I can’t get false nails because of my job and nowhere is able to do them anyway (when I was off work on AL) because of how short my nails are 😞

OP posts:
Ginslings · 21/08/2023 00:07

Oh my gosh, you poor thing. I was going to say having acrylics on mine is the only thing that stops me biting my nails. But it looks like you're way past that.

Have you spoken to your GP about it at all?

ThreeLittleDots · 21/08/2023 00:07

You mentioned therapy - was that solution-focused like hypnotherapy and / or CBT?

In the meantime I'd put something antiseptic on it like Sudocrem

WineIsMyMainVice · 21/08/2023 00:09

Oh you poor thing. Don’t really know how to help but didn’t want to read and run. I hope you find something that works for you soon….

ThreeLittleDots · 21/08/2023 00:09

Have you tried mouth guards?

Deadringer · 21/08/2023 00:11

When my dd was about 10 the Dr suggested thick socks on her hands at night held on by strong tape around her wrists, sounds mad but it worked.

EvilElsa · 21/08/2023 00:11

Ouch! That looks so painful OP. It's obviously more than a habit, it's clear you have Onychophagia. You need to seek further professional treatment. Poor you x

twoandcooplease · 21/08/2023 00:12

Oh no that does look infected. Can you draw a line round the red to monitor and phone the gp tomorrow?
There will be MNers with advice for this. For sure you can't be the only one
I stopped suddenly one day, I don't know why. But I always had my mum telling me to 'STOP biting your nails!' which would make me jump. You never had a great chance of stopping if even in baby photos your nibbling. Poor thing.
Isn't there a type of hypnotherapy that can help with this like smokers?

Original poster
woopsididitagain · 21/08/2023 00:12

Yeah I’ve had hypnotherapy as an 18 year old, 2 separate blocks of cbt at different stages in my life and general talking therapy :(

I tried mouthguards and retainers to stop my biting on my nails but I just take them out when I’m sleeping- it honestly needs to be welded to my mouth!! (Only half joking with that 😫)

OP posts:
GeraldTheGoodMouse · 21/08/2023 00:13

Have you tried biting something else? Leather (veg tanned for safety) can give a similar feel and feedback.

Also, try doing a fiddly tactile craft to increase sensory feedback from your fingers. Or find fidgets that keep your fingers busy.

Original poster
woopsididitagain · 21/08/2023 00:13

Thanks for the tips, I’ll go and make up a hot salt solution to clean it and I’ve got some savalon in the cupboard too so I can put that on it x

OP posts:
ThreeLittleDots · 21/08/2023 00:15

I'd persevere with mouth guards in the day. It was the only thing that worked to help me stop biting the sides of my tongue habitually, to the point of infection and bleeding (also worsened with stress). If you can get used to them in the day it should eventually help too at night as they'll feel normal.

CantThinkOfANameAtAll · 21/08/2023 00:15

Oh wow OP, that looks really sore Sad

I used to bite my nails and tried everything including those disgusting nail polish things. The only way I managed to stop was deciding I wouldn't bite the two pinkie nails but I could the rest. Once the two pinkies had grown slightly past the end of my fingers I made the decision that I wouldn't bite the next two. By the time I was ready not to bite the middle two nails I had become more conscious of when I was starting to nibble so was able to stop completely. That was thirty years ago. The thumb sucking took longer 😂

ThreeLittleDots · 21/08/2023 00:16

**Get proper impressions done at the dentist for mouth guards btw

CyberCritical · 21/08/2023 00:21

I was the same, bitten my nails since I had teeth learned it from my dad who had bitten his to nothing too.

This year I just cracked it, all of a sudden I wanted to stop, not thought I should, I actually wanted to stop.

I started really looking after them, I had hand cream in every bag, car door pocket, jacket pocket and was putting it on constantly. I used cuticle sticks to properly shape my cuticles and as the nail finally started growing in I used a file to get rid of any rough bits. Again I had files dotted around everywhere.

I found that as long as I didn't have any rough snuggly bits of skin or nail I could stop myself from biting. I still bought my fingers to my mouth and would rub the nail bed and tip over my lower lip, it was a subconscious action and if I found a rough bit I'd start biting.

I'm about 4 months with no biting now. Nails are still not in great shape, I have ridges and they break quite easy but they're getting there and so so much better than they ever have been.

Gymnopedie · 21/08/2023 00:25

Trying to stop it in the night isn't going to work, the habit is too ingrained. You're going to have to come at this during the day.

During the day you can wear gloves, have a fidget toy, whatever. But you will also need buckets of willpower. Thin disposable gloves, the sort that were everywhere during the pandemic, wouldn't get in the way of you doing other things.

Cluborange666 · 21/08/2023 00:27

It looks infected. You need to go to your GP. You’ll get antibiotic cream. My son has had to get it several times for the same reason.

UpaladderwatchingTV · 21/08/2023 00:38

OMG! Someone who know's what I'm going through!! I have always been a biter, have been through a couple of stages in my life where I managed to get the habit under control, but then my Mum died, and that was it, that was in 2002! Since then the only time I've been able to stop for a while was when I did an online hypnotherapy thing, which to my shock worked for several weeks, but then the slightest bit of stress and I'm back to square one! I've tried wearing false nails, but bite them too. One thing I haven't tried is the mouth guards, can anyone explain to me how these work please?

ThreeLittleDots · 21/08/2023 00:44

One thing I haven't tried is the mouth guards, can anyone explain to me how these work please

You'll need to go to your dentist - they're like thin silicone covers, custom-made to fit very tightly over your teeth, you can't bite anything with them on (so obvs need to take out when you eat).

Very effective for breaking the habit of nail-biting, teeth grinding, jaw clenching, tongue biting (in my case).

You can also return to hypnotherapy audios; it's not always a one-time-only thing. See it as a top-up!

Workingmumchaos · 21/08/2023 00:46

I used to pick my lips. For decades!! I noticed last week I probably haven’t done it for a few years now. No idea what changed. Nothing worked before, until all of a sudden I didn’t. It’s odd because since remembering I have had the odd urge. I need to forget again!!!

continentallentil · 21/08/2023 00:49

Oh OP that looks so painful.

This is a kind of obsessive compulsive behaviour, like hair pulling, I would go to the psychologies or UKCP sites to get some help with this.