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AIBU?

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Original poster

Do I sound weird??

34 replies

Londoncalling9 · 20/08/2023 20:26

Hi

I’ve recently qualified in my job after an intense 18 months of supervision, exams and clinical tests. I’ve had the same supervisor for the duration of it- at times she’s been very tough-love in her approach and at times has seemed slightly harsh but she has always fair and she taught me so many important lessons- both about the job and believing in myself too. I was going to get a thank you card but wanted her to realise how much she has helped me even as a person (not just a clinician) so was thinking of putting something along the lines of ‘thank you for everything you’ve taught me about the job and most of all thank you for helping me learn to believe in myself’ does that sound ok? I don’t want to seem soppy or weird or make her embarrassed if it’s a bit too personal and maybe it would be better just saying ‘thanks for all your help and for everything you’ve taught me’ like most people would, but does it sound ok to say ‘thanks for helping me believe in myself’? obviously I’ve learned how to do my job properly from her but to me the most important thing she taught me was to believe in myself and my own abilities and I want to let her know I’m grateful for this

im a bit tired and overthinking like mad, so just looking for a 2nd opinion! Does this sound ok to you?

OP posts:
FutureThroughLensOfThePast · 20/08/2023 20:28

You know her after 18 months - you're best placed to say how it would be received. Personally, I would be delighted to receive such a message. Congratulations on qualifying!

ShirleyPhallus · 20/08/2023 20:29

Don’t overthink it, that sounds from the heart and lovely

AndTheSurveySays · 20/08/2023 20:31

I'd struggle not to laugh if I received a message like that.

ShirleyPhallus · 20/08/2023 20:33

AndTheSurveySays · 20/08/2023 20:31

I'd struggle not to laugh if I received a message like that.

Why? That’s not very nice

ThreeTrebles · 20/08/2023 20:34

AndTheSurveySays · 20/08/2023 20:31

I'd struggle not to laugh if I received a message like that.

Don't worry, it's unlikely that you would receive a message like that.

drunkpeacock · 20/08/2023 20:38

I'd absolutely love a message like that, it shows that what you taught has really hit home.
The "struggle not to laugh" poster is highly unlikely to have that type of impact.
Go for it, as long as you're not declaring undying love I think a message from the heart will generally be well received.

thecatinthetwat · 20/08/2023 20:44

I’ve received really heartfelt messages before and I appreciate them so much. When I’ve sent messages of thanks ive gone on the less heart-felt side of things as I felt embarrassed etc. I guess I should have gone with the more personal message because actually it is very lovely to receive.

WhateverMate · 20/08/2023 20:47

AndTheSurveySays · 20/08/2023 20:31

I'd struggle not to laugh if I received a message like that.

Why?

I mean it's straight to the point, honest and not soppy, so what's funny?

cathcath2 · 20/08/2023 21:00

That's lovely. I would be really pleased to get a message like that.

TackyTimes · 21/08/2023 05:02

I'd personally find it a bit much, not everyone is into heartfelt sentiments!

As pp said, you know them best. I'd say something more like 'thanks for helping me develop into a stronger person' (or along those lines).

spaghettimaretti · 21/08/2023 05:04

ShirleyPhallus · 20/08/2023 20:33

Why? That’s not very nice

Show quote history

Sorry but you sound weird for saying that!

I would write something like that OP, I think it’s lovely. Congrats on qualifying!

Tara24 · 21/08/2023 05:19

Context is everything. Personally I'd find it ok, if not a little cringeworthy. But that's because I try and avoid conversations about confidence etc in the workplace. I find it's rarely something men say and very much expected from women .ie, An article about women in the workplace will often assume we lack confidence. To me it's all part of the subtle messaging sent to women to undermine them in some way. I prefer not to get into that mindset.

But it depends on what she's like. The fact you describe her as 'tough love' makes me think it wouldn't be her style. But you also say she taught you to believe in yourself, so if that's something she's focussed on then it seems like the right comment.

ReallyNoNeed · 21/08/2023 05:27

OP I work in the NHS and have had two or three cards exactly like that over my 30 year career from trainees. I love all the cards I get but the ones saying what you have are the ones that I treasure.

There is nothing more rewarding than helping someone at the start of their career develop confidence and self-belief.

Please send it. It will make their day! Lovely idea.

ReallyNoNeed · 21/08/2023 05:29

AndTheSurveySays · 20/08/2023 20:31

I'd struggle not to laugh if I received a message like that.

Do you have social and communication issues? Do strong emotions make you nervous?

I am trying to understand what makes you uncomfortable about this.

ReallyNoNeed · 21/08/2023 05:31

Tara24 · 21/08/2023 05:19

Context is everything. Personally I'd find it ok, if not a little cringeworthy. But that's because I try and avoid conversations about confidence etc in the workplace. I find it's rarely something men say and very much expected from women .ie, An article about women in the workplace will often assume we lack confidence. To me it's all part of the subtle messaging sent to women to undermine them in some way. I prefer not to get into that mindset.

But it depends on what she's like. The fact you describe her as 'tough love' makes me think it wouldn't be her style. But you also say she taught you to believe in yourself, so if that's something she's focussed on then it seems like the right comment.

I disagree. Men lack confidence too and if you are a good supervisor then they will open up to you about that.

The most grateful trainee I had was a young man from china. He felt he could never live up to the expectations from back home and had no self-esteem. I encouraged him and ‘believed in him’. He passed the exams he was not even going to sit and emailed me later in his career thanking me for building up his confidence.

I see no issue in helping people of either gender build their confidence up.

TibetanTerrah · 21/08/2023 05:55

AndTheSurveySays · 20/08/2023 20:31

I'd struggle not to laugh if I received a message like that.

I'm not sure how your lack of social skills is relevant to the OP tbh.

Tara24 · 21/08/2023 05:58

I didn't say men don't lack confidence. What I said was that I try to avoid those conversations in terms of that's what's automatically expected of women. Its not a helpful message. I also said that context was everything.

Tara24 · 21/08/2023 05:59

My message was aimed @ReallyNoNeed who was trying to say that I said men don't lack confidence.

Gnomegnomegnome · 21/08/2023 06:06

I receive lots of cards from students but the ones that stand out are the ones like you have suggested. Thanks for teaching me etc is just thanks for doing your job.
You sound lovely op, congratulations on qualifying!

Asiatoyork · 21/08/2023 06:12

I didn't say men don't lack confidence. What I said was that I try to avoid those conversations in terms of that's what's automatically expected of women

I don’t think that’s what’s this is though.

OP - when I have had messages like this from people I have managed I have really appreciated it.

Tara24 · 21/08/2023 07:51

@Asiatoyork you need to have read the whole of my message to understand the context of the message you've quoted. You have misunderstood.

Anyway, back to the point OP. I think the message is fine in the right context. It's not something I would say unless there were specific circumstances.

Aprilx · 21/08/2023 07:54

AndTheSurveySays · 20/08/2023 20:31

I'd struggle not to laugh if I received a message like that.

That is a bit OTT. Although I do think a card is a bit much.

DrManhattan · 21/08/2023 08:00

That's really sweet x

Monkelmo · 21/08/2023 08:07

OP, I'm a clinical educator/examiner. I take HCPs through a challenging, rigorous post graduate course. I've received a few cards with sentiments similar to this and it means more than any present I've been given. This type of supervision and mentorship is genuinely more than just teaching someone about a job and getting them through exams. You thoughts don't sound weird or odd. I think your supervisor will be touched to know their efforts have had a lasting impacting.

Doingmybest12 · 21/08/2023 08:13

If you feel the phrase about believing in yourself sounds a bit trite or something you could put '.....I can move forward with confidence as a result of your mentoring ....' or similar.

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