If someone in a relationship is showing some sort of interest…

[NoOnePutARingOnIt]

Can you go ahead - is it really wrong if he wants out of his current?

This guy from work seems somewhat interested - always finding reasons to talk to me, get my number etc. I’m the only one he does this to, everyone else he keeps it short and brief. I think there’s mutual attraction. Maybe he’s not happy with his current partner and is looking for an out. If a guy seems like he wants an out is it still BU?

I need to know because I really don’t want to be the source of drama. This isn’t usually me but at the same time I’m realising that not all relationships begin with a fairytale and sometimes people realise that they’re with the wrong person and meet someone who suits them better down the line.

I don’t know how unreasonable I am being at this time and I’m not sure there’s anyone I can discuss this with in my personal life. I don’t have very close female friends. His looks, height, education, career, humour, personality - all my complete type

Can someone please tell me what to do before I embarrass myself in real life. I feel embarrassed even asking this tbh.

Bad idea

You're fantasising about a guy who you know is in a relationship with another person, simply because he occasionally speaks to you at work.

He is not available. Find someone else to obsess over. There are plenty of people not in relationships. Women who target other women's partners, knowing they are in a relationship, disgust me.

sometimes people realise that they’re with the wrong person and meet someone who suits them better down the line.

Entirely reasonable, so long as they do the decent thing: realise they are not happy in current relationship. Finish that relationship, tie up all loose ends (arrange separate houses, agree financial division etc).

Then, and only then start to show interest in new partner.

Perfectly fine.

Notice someone new, start to send them signals. Pay them attention before finishing the existing relationship.

not.so.much

Apart from anything else, if he finishes existing relationship before starting a new one, you have more chance that he isn't a serial adulterer.

You might he free to start a relationship, but clearly he isn't. There is no way I would go there.

What do you mean an 'out'? If he is unhappy with his partner, why does that necessitate your involvement? Why would you want to be a landing patch for a bloke who can't be alone 5 minutes? Be professional and civil and leave it alone otherwise. Doesn't matter if he wants attention, a bit on the side, a new start or absolutely nothing. He has a partner so it is beneath you to entertain any of it.

Work colleagues always work it out. It is blindingly obvious just from the way people stand and talk to one another that there's some UST going on. Might as well have a neon sign with an arrow.

The nudge-nudge-wink-wink gossip will have already started.

To be honest that's an accurate perspective.

There are various scenarios

• He is setting you up for an affair - he is an arsehole why would you want to be with him. Go get yourself some self esteem.
• He really fancies you and is not happy in his current relationship and is interested in you - he is still an arsehole who strings women along, not giving a shit about their feelings, until someone else catches his eye. Do you really want to be with someone who would treat a partner so badly, knowing you could be next.
• You are imagining it and he just wants to be platonic friends.

OP, is this the same guy at work that you posted about two days ago on another thread - the married guy at your work place who you feel vibes with.

Stop searching for justification on here for someone to tell you it's ok. It's not. He's married. Don't be that cow.