AIBU to be so upset about rude service

[Usedandhurt]

I am prepared to be told I'm being over-sensitive and should catch a massive grip of myself but I have had an interaction with a person that has greatly upset me.

Myself and my family order takeout once per month (money is tight so its a luxury). I normally order online however last night the transaction did not appear to be going through. I called the pizza place, gave my details and asked if the order had arrived. Person on the other end of the phone was quite abrasive, said no etc so I said I would call back in a few minutes to check again. I did that, still no order there from me (oddly this person gave me the address of another order and also name of a further order - neither of which were mine). I said "ok it must not have gone through then" and proceeded to place my order with this person over the phone, sizable price - 2 adults x 2 hungry teenagers. All good.

Approximately 30 mins later I get a call asking why I hadn't collected my order. I explained that the order was for delivery to be told, no your other order has come through. I explained that I was a the person who had called earlier ,the order hadn't gone through (transaction still pending on my bank app) to be met with a torrent of abuse about how there was now two orders - we had ordered twice, this was "your fault but we will have to sort it at our end of course". This person went on to say that I had placed an order online for collection under the name "Smith" and that it was totally my fault. I tried to explain that it definitely wasn't me - my surname is middle eastern so definitely not smith and our car is out of action at the minute so definitely not collection . The person told me they had "had had enough tonight" and hung the call up. I called back and challenged them on their rudeness- told again all my fault - again hung up the phone. I tried to call back again as I was so incensed at this stage - no response. Strangely the food arrived at my front door within a few minutes of this call. Lovely delivery person, couldn't have been more polite.

My husband called the restaurant (another person answered the phone at that time) and asked for a manager to come to the phone or call back as he was making a complaint about the rude staff member. Still no call back a day later. He has now left a really bad review which is a rare occurrence as we are normally not the sort of people to complain, never mind leave reviews/make it public. My question is why am I so upset about it - it was a rude person who is clearly not right for that job so why has it upset me for the last few days. I'm a senior person in my job and I manage a team of over 20 people. I deal with conflict on a daily basis and it does not bother me one iota! - I am seen as calm, can usually resolve any major issues without much trouble or upset but in this instance I'm so upset. What is wrong with me?!!

Oh DFO 🙄

In these modern times we seem to forget who is the customer here.
OP simply wanted to place her takeaway order from a takeaway place. It was not exactly a weird and unrealistic request.

The owner needs to know if he's losing customers because of poor customer service.

The person needs a different job or attitude adjustment.

So easy to justify being a bully.

A bully ?

I've been through OPs post and I'm struggling to find any bullying anywhere.

Another word that is thrown around without any real meaning these days.

So easy to justify being a bully

🙄

The employee was clearly struggling. The OP made that worse. She tried to hide it behind the mask of she challenged them on their rudeness. There was no need to challenge someone who was clearly struggling.

Sorry I’ve been off line all day - how exactly did I bully someone sayit - ?? Also the rude person didn’t know what sort of day I was having- I could have been having an awful time.

im sorry that that person was clearly struggling but we are all adults- you have to have some level of maturity. If I behaved that way in my job I’d be at best severely disciplined if not sacked. The manager alluded to there being previous issues so perhaps they aren’t suited to that job

It couldn't be simpler you kicked someone when she was down. Your words: "they were clearly struggling" but because she is an adult you decided you would twist the knife.
And you pretend you are doing it for the good of the world - for the world will not be right until she is punished.

Yeah imagine expecting employees to give the customers, who have the money, courtesy and an enjoyable experience. It's almost ike the aim is to make money or something.

sayit with all due respect she was ignorant as sun to me. It’s not my fault she was struggling- I took the brunt of her attitude when all I was trying to do was order food. I’m not doing anything for the good if the world - I just want some courtesy from a representative of a business I was using. You seem very incensed about this - are you projecting?

😂😂imagine indeed! I literally just wanted to buy pizza - it’s resulted in me getting an earful and someone potentially losing their job 🤦‍♀️

Something similar happened me in a restaurant. It was one where you put your order in and pay there and then. I ordered my food at the til and when I went to pay, the water seemed so angry. He didn't speak, just barked the amount, alammed the til shut and walked off so angrily. He was furious about something but I was so hurt and upset and his aggression, though not directed at me, felt quote palpable. I found a manager and told them what had happened i got my money back and left. It upset me so much! I was in a tough job at the time too, and actually think that's why I got upset. Because the other one was so flipping stressful and I had to keep my hard hat on for work (not literally!).

That’s so awful for you. It’s like he off loaded all his stress onto you. Totally get why you would be upset. Customer facing roles can be hard on staff but not every customer is trying to be difficult. A little courtesy goes along way - it’s upsetting to be verbally attacked or treated aggressively

Expecting someone to be polite isn't unreasonable. Complaining about poor service and aggressive staff isn't unreasonable. It's not bullying to make a complaint.

Your comments are ridiculous.

I am guessing you are rude to others in real life so don’t see the issue here.

I have a more stressful job than most. But that’s my issue and not my patients’ and I would never ever be rude to them or my colleagues. Having a bad day does not excuse this behaviour. Whatever your job.

I had a similar experience with a Lettings agent. He was unbelievably rude. It’s also a small business and I suspect he’s part of the family. I let one of the more reasonable staff members know about the appalling behaviour but I don’t expect there to have been many consequences for him because he’s part of the family in a family business. Sadly some people seem to be able to do as they please. I’m glad you got an apology OP and I hope your next takeaway experience is more straightforward.

I know everyone will disagree but if I may mention, I would have called back to log properly the next day rather than a review. That kid is an idiot but the small business will suffer and if it's that kid having a bad day, or whatever the excuse is it might not be managements fault. I'm not having a go, just wish people would think about small businesses a bit more at the min as I've had a few write horrible reviews lately through nothing I can have helped and something I would have solved with a quick interaction. But yeah hangry for pizza I would have been raging too

HI Blade I actually agree with you. My DH left a review as the manager had not reverted back when he was supposed to. Ill ask him to remove it - if that can be done. The "kid" is apparently a lady in her 50's - which I am not far away from -so Im not assigning any significance to that other than it wasn't a stroppy teenager but a mature person. I feel so shit about the whole thing to be honest. I feel especially bad about the manager of the shop who not only had to deal with a shop full of customers and no one behind the counter/till but then had to deal with a staff issue and a customer complaining about said staff. This is whilst trying to fight off much larger competition next door. What could I do though? If I didn't tell him then how could he address it (obviously I didn't know about the lady walking out before I called).

I know exactly what you mean sometimes you just thing, what is the point complaining?

I think sayit has flounced as the saying goes. I don't believe I bullied anyone. Bullying someone is being nasty and rude and horrible for no reason at all - that's not what I did. No twisting of the knife. What would you have done, just taken the mistreatment and said nothing? I wouldn't advise that - its resolves nothing and compounds the problem, ie the person continues to be rude without being challenged and having the opportunity to change the behaviour, the business loses that customer, the customer is dis-satisfied and talks about it which may result in the business losing more customers. In my view it is simple - treat people as you would like to be treated yourself!

Either that or Sayitis the person in question :). I totally agree with you. Bad days happen to everyone, but not everyone makes it another persons issue. There would be non stop arguments if that happened.

Even if you only spent £30 each time that’s £360 a year on takeaways

Absolutely- it’s a luxury.

I hadn’t flounced I was just worried that I had been too rude to you. After all, frequently calling someone a bully could be bullying in itself, particularly if I was wrong and you were blameless.

Curiosity got the better of me so I returned for a peak.

I accept that I am in the minority and I accept that we can’t just be rude to each other at work, but when someone is clearly cracking up then I do think they need to be given a break.
I don’t like unnecessary calling-out and reporting and I think many of us invent supposedly good reasons to do it when in truth we just want to be nasty. Slightly like accusing someone of flouncing. But if I develop those theme further I will be back to calling people bullies which won’t do.