To be worried about my nearly 17 year old being driven 40 minutes away on A road by friend

[rhinobaby]

When do you allow your teens to be driven by their friends who have just passed their driving tests?
Friend is 17, just passed (first time to be fair)
Car accident biggest cause of death in this age group, risks higher with bunch of mates in the car.
what did you do?

Valid concern, would depend on time of day, not type of road. The 25% or so of people who are unfit to hold a licence use any type of road.

It depends on who the friend is. At 17 I was driving up and down to Leeds for uni, so on balance I wouldn’t be too stressed about this unless the friend is a total moron.

It’s usually a hour or so after they have passed the test 😁. Most teens seem to do this, they pass and then go and pick their mates up so they can have a first drive with a teacher/parent

You’re being overprotective. I passed and my friend’s mum wouldn’t let her in the car with me to drive one mile. 1) 17, it’s not your choice and 2) how do you know bus drivers and taxi drivers are going to be any safer?

If they have passed they are going to be driving as safely as anyone else, arguably more safely at first

When we were 17, my friend passed second time and a week later drove 4 of us the 2 hours on motorway to Alton Towers.
Im sure my mum was a bit worried, but she let me go.

I used to say to my DDs at this stage of life: "Get pregnant if you must, but do not take drugs and do not get in a car with anyone who has been drinking or taking drugs."

I got them through their tests as speedily as I could and made sure that we found a way of getting them cars, as I was happier when they were doing the driving as I knew they were sensible.

Young men have testosterone overload and bravado to add to the mix. It is a heady cocktail.

We live fairly rurally with only small roads around us. My DDs were ferrying their friends around as soon as they passed their tests. It meant I didn't have to be a taxi any more. They had no accidents. I guess it depends how reliable the friends are though.

@VitaminNinja at 17 the child is still a child living at home so yes it is her parents choice and and statistically young, new drivers are v. Likely to get into an accident either through inexperience or excitement or showing off. I'm usually pretty gung ho about risk factors on here but I certainly would be cautious and asking questions about who else is in the car, where they are going to and request a quick "arrived safe' text.

I didn't feel as though I had a say in it tbh. Even though it can be a worry, they make their own decisions. One of my son's friends turned out to be a total idiot in a car though, and he refused to get in it again. I didn't find out about it until afterwards.

To be worried no of course not but it something you are going to have to allow and get used to

We need a law banning carrying of passengers for the first year or two of driving - you are right to be worried, I would not allow it

YANBU.

https://www.firstcar.co.uk/driving/caitlins-message-rural-roads-real-danger/

I wouldn't allow it. Unless you're all rural they've been driving 'unofficially' already for a good few years. Tractors and suchlike.

It is a worry but one all parents have to get over and trust your child/ their friends to be responsible.

eventually, yes, but none should be carrying passengers until they have done a certain amount of driving.

It is the most common cause of death in this age group, a new driver carrying passengers

I don't know how it would be counted, that is the thing. It is one thing to say one year of driving first, but how do you know if the driver has done much driving in that year? Maybe issue each new driver with an individual, thumb print activated tacograph, and say one year AND 8000 miles, or similar?

Other countries ban new drivers from carrying passengers. It is common sense.

I am a teacher, and have lost students to this - our school bans sixth formers from carrying passengers to or from school, and if they are seen doing so, they lose their parking permit, an there is nowhere else to mark, so it is a big deal

Thanks for your thoughts- I know it will happen sooner or later…
We are rural, the minor roads are quite bendy, fine if you go slow.
The A road is dual carriageway and has frequent accidents but would be safer weekend daytime.
I am happy to drive him to this event, that’s the other option to friend driving.

You went to uni at 17?

God I remember when I first passed my test, two months later I drove me and all my mates 200 miles to a festival, no sat nav, no map, just made it up as we went with my dad's vague instructions in my ratty old banger. It was such a laugh.

Not sure I'd let my daughter do it now though, the roads seem so much more dangerous these days, especially for younguns.

The OP is not being overprotective.

This is the MOST LIKELY CAUSE OF DEATH of her child!

It is the one thing, above all else that you need to be strict about - no new driver should drive passengers.

Try telling your tutor group that two of the people they registered with that morning are dead, one is in intensive care, and one is being moved out of intensive care as there is no hope of them surviving the night and they want to be able to hold their parents' hands.

You would quickly change your tune about whether the OP was being over protective to prevent her child being put at this big risk. - it is not a small risk.

It's not the miles driven necessarily but the overconfidence and speeding.
The people who drive the least are probably the opposite of boy racers and would be safer actually!

I don't know to be honest, but the death rate of teenage drivers and their passengers on our roads is heart breaking - something should be done. It has been shown that the drivers themselves are safer without passengers too.

@phone1

Plenty of people start 1st year at uni aged 17.
Why did you question that as though it was odd/unbelievable? It just depends when your birthday falls in the year when you first start school..

Not in England, you are not even elidable to apply - if you get special permission to go before 18 you need to take a parent with you

I was v worried about this as my DC were both first in their friendship groups to pass.
I wouldn’t let them take friends as passengers until a few months after they had passed their tests and when they had gained more experience. I also accompanied them for first motorway trips.

This seems a bit dramatic. If it was that much of a danger they’d have failed their test.

Yes his school does ban 6th formers driving friends and even their own siblings.
I have remembered this friend has a black box so that reassures a little. Only been driving 4 months though.
Two teens at my school in the 90s died in an RTA (not the same accident)
So hard to give them their freedom and let them grow up - and this isn’t even a dangerous time of day!
If it was a female driver I think I would view it as safer for some reason.